10 behaviors that instantly turn people off when you first meet them

First impressions are everything, aren’t they? You’ve got seconds to make a positive impact when you meet someone new. But sometimes, we unknowingly do things that can instantly turn people off.

From my experience, there are certain behaviors that can make a person less appealing right off the bat. And trust me, knowing what these behaviors are can be a game-changer in social settings.

In this article, I’ll share with you 10 behaviors that might be giving folks a bad taste when they first meet you.

Let’s dive in and help you leave a better first impression!

1) Dominating the conversation

We’ve all met those people – the ones who love to hear themselves talk. They don’t pause to let others share their thoughts or experiences. Instead, they’re constantly talking, often about themselves.

This behavior is a major turn-off when meeting someone for the first time. It gives the impression that they’re self-centered and not interested in what others have to say.

Remember, a good conversation is like a tennis match – it requires back and forth. When you meet someone new, make sure to ask them questions about themselves and show genuine interest in their answers.

Not only will this make you more likable, but it will also give you valuable insights about the person you’re talking to. So next time, be sure to keep those monologues in check!

2) Neglecting to make eye contact

This is a personal pet peeve of mine. There’s this one time I was introduced to a colleague at a conference. Throughout our conversation, he kept glancing at his phone, looking over my shoulder, and just generally not maintaining eye contact.

This really irked me. I felt like he wasn’t genuinely interested in our conversation or getting to know me. His lack of eye contact gave me the impression that he was disinterested and distracted.

Eye contact is so crucial in initial meetings because it shows that you’re engaged and attentive. It builds a connection and exudes confidence. So, when you meet someone new, remember to look them in the eye. It can make all the difference!

3) Invading personal space

Did you know that there’s actually a science behind personal space? According to anthropologist Edward T. Hall, there are four levels of personal space.

The one we’re interested in is the “social space” which ranges from 4 to 12 feet. When you first meet someone, it’s generally best to stay within this range.

Crowding into someone’s personal space when you first meet them can be very off-putting. It can make the other person feel uncomfortable and potentially threatened.

Always be aware of your proximity to others, and respect their personal space. This simple act can go a long way in creating a positive first impression.

4) Constantly checking your phone

In our digital age, it’s almost second nature to check our phones every few minutes. But when you’re meeting someone for the first time, this habit can be really off-putting.

It can make the person you’re talking to feel unimportant and undervalued. It gives out the message that whatever is happening on your phone is more interesting or important than the conversation you’re having.

The next time you meet someone, try to keep your phone in your pocket or bag. By giving them your full attention, you’ll make them feel valued and respected – two key ingredients for building a positive relationship.

5) Being overly negative

Have you ever met someone who just radiates negativity? They see the worst in every situation and aren’t afraid to share their pessimistic perspective. This behavior can be a real turn-off when you’re meeting someone for the first time.

Positivity, on the other hand, is infectious. It draws people in and makes them want to spend more time with you. Even if you’re having a bad day, try to find something positive to focus on.

The energy you put out into the world often comes back to you. So why not make it positive?

6) Not being genuine

What really touches our hearts when meeting someone new is sincerity. People who aren’t afraid to be themselves, with all their quirks and unique traits, are often the ones who leave a lasting impression.

On the contrary, when someone tries too hard to impress or puts on a facade, it’s usually quite obvious and can instantly turn people off. It creates a sense of distrust and makes it hard for genuine connections to form.

Whether you’re a little quirky, incredibly passionate about a niche hobby, or love making dad jokes, don’t hide it. Be genuine, be you. It’s the most likable thing you can be.

7) Being dismissive of others

I remember when I was younger and just starting out in my career, I met someone who was already well-established in the field. Instead of offering guidance or support, they dismissed my ideas and experiences due to my lack of experience.

This behavior instantly put me off. It made me feel small and unimportant. Everyone, regardless of their experience or status, deserves to be treated with respect and dignity.

When meeting new people, it’s crucial to value their perspective and experiences. Dismissing others not only damages potential relationships but also closes the door on learning from diverse viewpoints.

8) Overly agreeable

It might seem like being agreeable would be a definite plus when meeting someone for the first time. However, there’s a fine line between being agreeable and being overly agreeable.

People who agree with everything you say can come across as insincere or lacking in personality or opinions. It’s okay to have different views and to express them respectfully. In fact, it can lead to enriching conversations and deeper connections.

Remember, it’s not about being contentious; it’s about being authentic and bringing your unique perspective to the conversation. So don’t shy away from expressing your thoughts, even if they differ from others.

9) Being late

Time is a precious commodity, and when you’re late to a first meeting, it sends the message that you don’t value the other person’s time. It can come across as disrespectful and inconsiderate, which are not the impressions you want to make when meeting someone for the first time.

Being punctual shows respect, demonstrates that you’re organized, and indicates that you’re reliable. These are all traits that people generally find attractive. So, make an effort to be on time, or even better, a little early for your meetings.

10) Not listening

Above all, the most important thing when meeting someone for the first time is to listen. It’s not just about waiting for your turn to speak, but genuinely hearing what the other person is saying and showing interest in it.

When someone feels heard, they feel valued and important. This is one of the most effective ways to establish a positive connection with someone new. Always remember, listening is a skill that can turn a negative first impression into a positive one.

Final thoughts: It’s all about respect

At the core of these behaviors that turn people off when you first meet them, lies one simple principle – respect. Respect for the other person’s time, personal space, thoughts, and overall presence.

William Ury, a renowned negotiation expert and author, once said, “Respect is not so much earned as given.” This means that we should give respect freely, even before it’s reciprocated.

When we meet someone new, showing respect helps lay the foundation for a positive relationship. It shows that you value them as a person and are interested in who they are and what they have to say.

So the next time you meet someone new, keep these behaviors in mind. But more importantly, remember to show respect. It’s a small action that can make a big difference.