10 non-obvious signs that someone isn’t a very good person, according to psychology

Sometimes, it’s not so easy to tell if someone is truly good or not. There are subtle signs and behaviors that can reveal a lot about a person’s character, and they’re often overlooked.

According to psychology, there are certain non-obvious indicators that someone might not be as good-hearted as they seem. These signs aren’t always clear-cut, and they’re easy to miss unless you know what to look for.

In this piece, we’ll explore these 10 non-obvious signs that someone might not be the good person you think they are. 

Let’s get started. 

1) Constant criticism

We all know that nobody is perfect, and it’s normal to have disagreements or see room for improvement in others. But there’s a big difference between constructive feedback and constant criticism.

According to psychology, those who constantly criticize others are often projecting their own insecurities. They might be dealing with feelings of inadequacy or low self-esteem, and bringing others down can be a way to boost their own ego.

If you notice someone who is always pointing out flaws, making negative remarks, or nitpicking over small details, this could be a sign that they’re not as good-hearted as they seem.

A truly good person will lift others up, not bring them down. So watch out for constant critics – they might be revealing more about their character than they realize.

2) Lack of empathy

Empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, is a crucial trait of genuinely good people. However, some individuals may lack this quality, and that’s a clear red flag.

Let me share an example from my own life. I once had a friend who never seemed to grasp the concept of empathy. Whenever I was going through tough times, she would often dismiss my feelings, saying things like “Oh, it’s not that big of a deal” or “You’re overreacting”.

It took me a while to realize that this was more than just a personality quirk. It was a sign that she lacked empathy and failed to understand or validate my feelings.

In retrospect, it was a clear indicator that she wasn’t as good-hearted as I initially believed. So if you encounter someone who consistently dismisses or downplays your feelings, it might be a sign they’re not the good person you think they are.

3) Frequent lying

Honesty is often considered the best policy, but not everyone adheres to this principle. Frequent lying can be an indicator of a person’s moral character and integrity.

Psychologists have found that the average person tells about one or two lies per day. But when someone consistently tells more than this, it could be a sign that they’re not as good a person as they appear to be.

Lying can often be used as a tool to manipulate others, create a false image, or avoid taking responsibility for actions. If you notice that someone is lying more often than not, it may be time to question their character.

4) Poor treatment of others

One of the most telling signs of a person’s character is how they treat others, particularly those they perceive as inferior or less powerful.

Whether it’s a waiter at a restaurant, a janitor at the office, or someone in a less fortunate situation, if you notice someone treating these individuals poorly or with disregard, it raises a red flag about their character.

A truly good person treats everyone with respect and kindness, regardless of their status or position. If someone consistently treats others poorly, it might be an indicator that they’re not as good-hearted as they seem to be.

5) Unreliability

Trustworthiness is a key trait of a good person. But if someone is constantly letting you down, breaking promises or failing to follow through on their commitments, it might be a sign that they’re not as reliable as they initially seem.

Nobody is perfect, and we all fall short sometimes. But if unreliability is a consistent pattern in someone’s behavior, it could indicate a lack of respect for others’ time and feelings.

Remember, actions often speak louder than words. If someone’s actions are constantly letting you down, it might be time to question their character.

6) Lack of remorse

We all make mistakes; it’s part of being human. But a key characteristic of a good person is the ability to recognize when they’ve done wrong and show genuine remorse.

But what if someone never apologizes? Or if they do, it feels insincere or forced? This lack of remorse can be quite disheartening and is often a sign that someone isn’t as good-hearted as they seem.

Showing remorse requires a person to be self-aware, humble, and empathetic – traits critical to being a good person. If these are missing, it might be an indicator that there’s more beneath the surface than meets the eye.

7) Always playing the victim

In every story, there’s a hero and a villain. But in real life, it’s rarely that black and white. However, some people always seem to paint themselves as the victim, no matter the situation.

I remember an old colleague who would constantly blame others for his mistakes or failures. It was always someone else’s fault – never his. It felt like he was always at the mercy of other people’s actions or circumstances beyond his control.

Over time, I realized that this persistent victim mentality was a sign of his unwillingness to take responsibility for his actions. It was easier for him to play the victim than face the reality that he was part of the problem.

If you notice someone constantly playing the victim, it could be a sign that they’re not as good a person as they appear to be. Good people know how to accept responsibility and learn from their mistakes rather than always blaming others.

8) Excessive flattery

While it’s nice to be complimented, excessive flattery can sometimes be a sign of a person’s true character. It might seem like they’re just being kind and generous with their praise, but there could be more behind it.

Psychology suggests that those who flatter others excessively often do so to win favor or manipulate. They use compliments as a tool to get what they want, rather than expressing genuine appreciation.

If you notice someone is always lavishing you with praise, take a moment to question their intent. Genuine compliments are wonderful, but excessive flattery might be a sign that someone isn’t as good-hearted as they appear.

9) They hold grudges

Forgiveness is a trait of the strong, and holding grudges is often seen as a sign of weakness. If someone holds onto anger and resentment long after a conflict has occurred, it might be a sign that they’re not as good-hearted as they appear.

Holding onto grudges means dwelling on the past and nurturing negative feelings, which can lead to bitterness and a lack of personal growth.

Truly good people know how to forgive, let go, and move forward, understanding that everyone makes mistakes. If you notice someone is incapable of doing so, it might be time to question their character.

10) They’re self-centered

The world doesn’t revolve around one person. But for some, their actions and attitudes might suggest otherwise. If someone is overly self-centered, always putting their own needs and wants before others, it’s a clear sign they might not be as good-hearted as they seem.

A truly good person understands the importance of empathy, compassion, and consideration for others. They recognize that everyone’s feelings and needs are important, not just their own.

If you notice someone is consistently self-centered, it’s time to question their character. Remember, a good person isn’t just about being good to themselves but also to those around them.