10 phrases only self-absorbed people use, according to psychology

We’ve all encountered that one person who just can’t seem to stop talking about themselves. It’s clear they’re self-absorbed, but how can we really tell?

Well, psychology has some answers. It turns out there are specific phrases self-absorbed people frequently use.

Allow me to share these 10 phrases with you. They are not only intriguing but, understanding them can also give you an edge in dealing with those who seem overly focused on themselves.

Let’s get started. 

1) Enough about you…

Encountering a self-absorbed individual, you will often hear this phrase, or a similar one, cropping up in conversations.

Why? Because for them, the spotlight should always be on them and their experiences. They have a tendency to quickly switch the topic back to themselves whenever someone else is sharing.

It feels like a game of conversational ping-pong where you serve your story, but they swiftly return it with an anecdote of their own. They’re not truly interested in your experiences or feelings. They’re simply looking for an opportunity to steer the conversation back to their favorite subject – themselves.

When you hear this phrase “Enough about you…”, be alert. You might be dealing with a self-absorbed person. But remember, it’s important not to jump to conclusions based on one phrase or one conversation. Look for patterns over time to make a more informed judgment.

2) I, Me, Myself…

This one hits close to home. A couple of years back, I had a colleague who had a knack for using self-referential language. No matter what the topic was, the conversation was peppered with “I”, “Me”, and “Myself”.

During team meetings, she would often start her sentences like “When I did this…”, “In my experience…”, or “I think that…”. It wasn’t just about expressing her point of view. It was more about highlighting her accomplishments or experiences at every possible instance.

Over time, it became clear that she was a bit self-absorbed. Her constant need to relate everything back to herself made it difficult for others to share their thoughts or experiences.

Be on the lookout for the overuse of “I”, “Me”, and “Myself”. It could be a sign that you’re dealing with a self-absorbed person. But as always, remember to observe patterns over time before drawing any conclusions.

3) They just don’t understand…

Ever noticed how self-absorbed individuals often feel misunderstood by others? This phrase or similar ones are commonly used by them to express their frustration or to seek validation.

The thing is, self-absorbed people generally have a heightened sense of their own uniqueness, which they believe sets them apart from the crowd. They may feel that others can’t comprehend their complex thoughts, feelings, or actions. This perception can lead to a sense of isolation, and they often voice it by saying, “They just don’t understand…”.

However, the irony lies in the fact that individuals who are truly unique or exceptionally talented rarely feel the need to declare their uniqueness or seek validation. They are usually comfortable with who they are and don’t require constant affirmation from others.

When you hear phrases like “They just don’t understand…”, it might be a sign that you’re dealing with a self-absorbed individual. But as always, consider the context and recurring patterns before making any judgement.

4) I can’t believe they did that to me…

Another common phrase you may hear from self-absorbed individuals is “I can’t believe they did that to me…”.

This phrase is often used when they feel wronged or slighted. It stems from their belief that the world should revolve around them, and when it doesn’t, they feel personally attacked.

In reality, things often happen without any personal intent involved. But self-absorbed people have a hard time seeing beyond their own perspective. They perceive actions and events as directly targeted at them, even when it’s not the case.

This kind of thinking can lead to unnecessary conflict and strained relationships. When you hear someone frequently using this phrase, consider it as a potential sign of their self-absorption. But don’t make snap judgments. Always consider the bigger picture and observe recurring patterns.

5) No one else could do it better…

This phrase is a classic hallmark of a self-absorbed individual. Their self-perception is often inflated to the point where they believe they are superior to others in certain aspects.

Whether it’s about their job, a hobby, or even mundane tasks, they firmly believe that no one can do it better than them. This isn’t just about having self-confidence, it’s about disregarding the abilities and contributions of others.

They might not always say it out loud, but their actions and attitudes often reflect this mindset. They might dismiss others’ ideas, take over tasks without being asked, or criticize others’ efforts unnecessarily.

If you notice someone frequently making such statements or exhibiting similar behavior, you might be dealing with a self-absorbed person. But as usual, make your judgments based on consistent patterns and not just isolated instances.

6) Why does this always happen to me…

A phrase I’ve often heard echoing from self-absorbed individuals is “Why does this always happen to me…”. It’s a reflection of their tendency to perceive themselves as the constant victim of circumstances.

They often believe that life is unfairly stacked against them. Every setback or inconvenience, no matter how minor, is perceived as a personal affront. They might struggle to see the broader perspective, focusing instead on how events affect them personally.

This viewpoint can be emotionally draining, not just for the person experiencing it, but for those around them too. It’s tough watching someone you care about constantly trapped in a cycle of self-pity and negativity.

Everyone has bad days, but consistent patterns can reveal more about a person’s character.

7) But what about my needs…

I once had a friend who would often use the phrase “But what about my needs…”. At first, I thought he was just assertive about his needs, which is a good thing. However, over time, I realized it was more about his lack of consideration for others’ needs.

In every plan we made or decision we took as a group, his first reaction would be to evaluate how it affected him personally. He struggled to see the collective benefit if it didn’t align with his personal desires.

This behavior often put a strain on our friendship. It felt exhausting and one-sided, trying to accommodate his needs without reciprocal consideration.

If you notice someone frequently using this phrase or exhibiting similar behaviors, you might be dealing with a self-absorbed person. 

8) I’m not self-absorbed, I’m just…

Oddly enough, self-absorbed individuals often deny their self-centered tendencies. You might hear them say, “I’m not self-absorbed, I’m just…”. They follow this up with reasons that justify their self-focused behaviors.

The twist here is that they may genuinely believe they aren’t self-centered. Their perception is skewed by their focus on their own feelings, thoughts, and actions. They might fail to acknowledge how their actions affect others or the degree to which they dominate conversations or decisions.

If you hear someone frequently defending themselves with statements like these, there’s a chance you’re dealing with a self-absorbed person. Remember though, it’s vital to observe consistent patterns over time before drawing conclusions.

9) I deserve better than this…

This phrase is often a staple in a self-absorbed person’s vocabulary. They believe they are entitled to more, irrespective of their actions or contributions.

Whether it’s about a job, a relationship, or even a simple transaction, they often feel they should get more than what they’ve received. They might overlook the effort or investment others have put in and focus solely on their perceived shortfall.

While it’s healthy to have self-worth and expect fair treatment, an excessive sense of entitlement can be a sign of self-absorption. 

10) People just don’t appreciate me enough…

The phrase “People just don’t appreciate me enough…” is often a telltale sign of a self-absorbed person. It signifies their constant need for validation and appreciation from others.

They have an insatiable desire to be acknowledged and praised, often overlooking the recognition they already receive. This stems from their belief that their contributions are more important or valuable than those of others.

This constant craving for validation can strain relationships and lead to disappointment, as no amount of appreciation may ever feel enough. If you hear this phrase often, you might be dealing with a self-absorbed individual. Be aware, but always approach with understanding and empathy. Everyone desires appreciation, but the frequency and intensity of this need can reveal more about a person’s character.