10 phrases only self-centered people use, according to psychology

Psychology tells us there’s a significant difference between being self-confident and being self-centered.

Being self-confident means having faith in your own abilities, while being self-centered is more about putting your own needs first, often at the expense of others.

According to psychology, self-centered people often use certain phrases that reveal their true nature. In this article, we’re going to dive into those 10 phrases only self-centered people use.

Let’s get started. 

1) I, me, mine

One of the most telling signs of a self-centered person comes down to their choice of pronouns.

Psychology studies have shown that self-centered individuals tend to use first-person singular pronouns – such as “I”, “me”, and “mine” – more frequently than others. This isn’t surprising when you consider that their main focus is on themselves.

When engaging in a conversation, they often steer it back towards their own experiences, achievements, or problems. It’s always about them, their feelings and their perspective.

When you’re in a conversation and notice an overuse of these pronouns, you might be dealing with a self-centered person. 

2) You wouldn’t understand

Another phrase that often pops up in the language of self-centered people is “You wouldn’t understand”.

I recall a conversation with an old friend. I was trying to empathize with him about a problem he was facing at work. Instead of appreciating my attempt to understand and support him, he simply brushed me off saying, “You wouldn’t understand.”

This phrase implies that their experiences, feelings, or thoughts are so unique or complex that no one else could possibly comprehend them. It’s another way of putting themselves above others and keeping the focus solely on them. It’s not just dismissive, but it also creates an unnecessary barrier in the conversation.

3) I don’t need anyone’s help

A phrase often used by self-centered people is “I don’t need anyone’s help”. This statement essentially represents a belief that they are entirely self-reliant.

Interestingly, psychological studies suggest that this attitude often masks a deep-seated fear of dependency. By insisting they can do everything on their own, self-centered individuals attempt to maintain control and avoid the vulnerability that comes with relying on others.

This phrase also pushes people away and prevents the formation of mutually supportive relationships, as it implies that others are not needed or valued.

4) No one does it better than me

The phrase “No one does it better than me” is a classic hallmark of a self-centered individual. It’s an outright demonstration of their inflated self-perception and belief in their superiority.

In conversations, they constantly compare themselves to others, always concluding that they come out on top. They’re never shy about highlighting their accomplishments and talents, often at the expense of dismissing or belittling others.

While confidence is a positive trait, this level of self-aggrandizement can be quite off-putting and is a clear sign of self-centeredness.

5) Why does this always happen to me?

“Why does this always happen to me?” is another phrase that self-centered people frequently use. This statement is often used to portray themselves as victims and seek attention or sympathy.

This victim mentality allows them to shift the focus of conversations back to themselves, even when the situation or problem does not directly involve them. It’s a way for them to dodge responsibility and make every situation about their feelings or experiences.

When someone constantly plays the victim, remember it could be a sign of self-centeredness.

6) I deserve better

Another phrase often used by self-centered individuals is “I deserve better”. While it’s healthy to recognize one’s worth, this phrase, when used excessively, can indicate a sense of entitlement.

I’ve known people who frequently use this line, not as a statement of self-respect, but as an excuse to demand more from others without considering if they’re giving equally in return.

It tugs at your heartstrings, as you see these individuals constantly dissatisfied and unable to appreciate the effort and kindness of others. This constant chase for “better” often leaves them feeling unfulfilled and can strain their relationships with others.

7) I knew that already

“I knew that already” is a phrase that self-centered people often use as a defense mechanism. Instead of appreciating new information or acknowledging someone else’s knowledge, they dismiss it with this phrase.

Once, I shared some exciting news about a project I was working on. Before I could even finish my sentence, the person I was talking to cut me off, saying, “I knew that already.” It felt dismissive and hurtful.

This phrase reflects an inability to show vulnerability or admit they didn’t know something. It also prevents them from learning and growing as they shut themselves off to new ideas and perspectives.

8) I’m just being honest

At first glance, “I’m just being honest” may seem like a commendable phrase. After all, honesty is a virtue. However, when used by self-centered individuals, this phrase often serves as a guise for unkind or disrespectful remarks.

It’s like they’re using honesty as a free pass to say whatever they want, without regard for how it might affect others. They may believe they’re just speaking their truth, but in reality, it can come across as insensitive or even rude.

Sometimes, it’s not about what you say but how you say it. And wrapping harsh words in the cloak of honesty doesn’t make them any less hurtful.

9) That’s not my problem

The phrase “That’s not my problem” is frequently used by self-centered individuals. They tend to lack empathy and are often unwilling to help others or take on tasks that don’t directly benefit them.

In conversations, they may use this line to dismiss other people’s concerns or problems. It’s a clear indication that they’re not interested in engaging with situations that don’t serve their personal interests or agendas.

This lack of consideration for others is a key trait of self-centered behavior. So, when you hear someone use this phrase dismissively, it could be a sign of their self-centered nature.

10) I don’t care what others think

Perhaps one of the most revealing phrases is “I don’t care what others think”. While it’s important to not let others’ opinions dictate your life, expressing this sentiment excessively often indicates a disregard for other people’s feelings and perspectives.

Self-centered individuals use this phrase as a defense mechanism to justify their actions or attitudes, no matter how they affect others. It shows a lack of empathy and an unwillingness to consider the impact of their behavior on those around them.

Caring about what others think isn’t about pleasing everyone. It’s about respect, understanding, and maintaining healthy relationships.

Final thoughts: The power of empathy

Understanding human behavior is a complex web of psychology, sociology, and individual experiences. This complexity holds true for self-centered individuals as well.

While it’s easy to label them based on their usage of certain phrases, it’s essential to remember that like all of us, they too are products of their experiences and circumstances.

The phrases we discussed are not definitive proof of someone being self-centered. They are mere indicators that can provide insights into their thinking patterns and attitudes.

Dealing with self-centered individuals can be challenging. However, fostering empathy and understanding can go a long way in improving these interactions. After all, as the psychology pioneer Carl Rogers once said, “When someone really hears you without passing judgement on you, without trying to take responsibility for you, without trying to mold you, it feels damn good.”

So let’s strive to listen more, judge less, and foster an environment where we can all grow together. Because at the end of the day, we’re all navigating this complex journey called life.