10 phrases that instantly make you sound less confident, according to psychology

Ever felt like your words just aren’t hitting the mark? We’ve all been there.

Sometimes, it’s not about what we say but how we say it. And guess what? Some common phrases can make us sound less confident than we really are.

Psychology has some interesting insights on this. There are certain phrases that can make us appear less sure of ourselves. But here’s the good news—once we know what these are, we can change the way we talk and instantly sound more confident.

So, are you ready to dive in?

Let’s explore these 10 phrases that might be making you sound less confident.

1. “I’m not sure but…”

`How many times have you started a sentence with “I’m not sure but…”? We’ve all done it. It might seem like a harmless phrase, but it can dramatically undercut your confidence.

By starting with “I’m not sure,” you’re essentially telling your listener that you lack confidence in what you’re about to say. It immediately downgrades whatever follows, no matter how accurate or insightful it may be.

If you want to sound more confident, try cutting out the “I’m not sure” and get straight to your point. You’ll be surprised at how much more impactful your words can be!

2. “This might be a stupid question…”

Ever prefaced a question with “This might be a stupid question…”? While it may seem like you’re just being modest, this phrase actually undermines your confidence.

When you label your questions as potentially “stupid” before you even ask them, you’re implying that you don’t trust your own judgment. This can make you appear less confident to others.

Instead, just ask your question outright. Remember, there’s no such thing as a stupid question if it helps you learn something new.

3. “I’ll try…”

How often do you say “I’ll try…” when asked to do something? I used to say it all the time. It seems like a harmless phrase, right? However, it can unintentionally give the impression that you’re not entirely confident in your ability to complete the task.

For example, I remember when I was asked to lead a project at work. My immediate response was, “I’ll try my best.” Looking back, I see that this phrase might have given my boss the impression that I wasn’t fully confident in my abilities.

Instead of saying “I’ll try,” it’s more confident to say “I will.” It shows conviction and commitment, giving others confidence in you too. So from that day forward, I made a conscious effort to replace “I’ll try” with “I will” — and the difference was noticeable

4. “I just…”

Are you guilty of often using the word “just” in your sentences? Like “I just thought” or “I just wanted to ask”. This little word can subtly undermine your confidence and make your statements sound more like suggestions or apologies.

Interestingly, a study found that women use the word “just” in emails and conversations more than men. This may contribute to the perception of women being less assertive or confident in professional settings.

So, next time you find yourself about to say “just,” pause and consider whether it’s necessary. Often, your sentence will be stronger and sound more confident without it!

5. “Sorry, but…”

How often do you find yourself saying “Sorry, but…”? This is a phrase many of us use without even realizing it. The problem is, it can make us sound less confident.

When we say “Sorry, but…” we’re essentially apologizing for our opinion or statement before we’ve even expressed it. This can make it seem like we’re not confident in our own perspectives.

I know it’s difficult to let go of habits, especially when they’re ingrained in the way we communicate. But remember this, your thoughts and opinions are valuable. You don’t need to apologize for having them.

6. “Does that make sense?”

I have to admit, I’m guilty of ending my explanations with “Does that make sense?” more often than I’d like. It sounds considerate, ensuring that the listener is following along. However, it can also suggest a lack of confidence in our ability to express our thoughts clearly.

I remember giving a presentation and constantly asking, “Does that make sense?” afterwards. I later realized it made me seem unsure about the information I was presenting.

Since then, I’ve tried to replace “Does that make sense?” with “Do you have any questions?” This small change keeps the conversation open without undermining my confidence.

7. “I guess…”

Let’s be brutally honest here, how often do you start your sentences with “I guess…”? It’s a filler phrase we all use, but it can make us sound unsure and hesitant.

When you say “I guess,” it’s like you’re not fully backing your own thoughts or opinions. It gives people the impression that you’re uncertain or not fully committed to what you’re saying.

The next time you’re about to say “I guess,” stop yourself. Stand behind your thoughts. Replace “I guess” with “I believe” or “I think”. It’s a small shift in language that can make a big difference in how confident you sound.

8. “Actually…”

Do you find yourself beginning sentences with “Actually…”? It may seem like a simple term to add emphasis or correct a misunderstanding, but it can make you sound defensive or unsure.

According to a study, overuse of filler words like “actually” can make you seem less competent and confident.

So next time, instead of starting with “Actually…,” try getting straight to your point. It’ll make your statements sound more direct and confident.

9. “I think…”

This one really hits close to home. I used to start my sentences with “I think…” all the time. It felt like a harmless way to share my opinion, but I’ve learned that it can make me sound less confident.

Starting a sentence with “I think…” can make it seem like you’re not sure of your own thoughts. It might give people the impression that you lack confidence in your ideas.

Now, I try to avoid “I think…” and instead just state my opinion directly. It’s a small change, but it helps me come across as more confident and assertive.

10. “It’s just my opinion, but…”

Now let’s get real. How often do you cushion your opinions with “It’s just my opinion, but…”? It feels like a safe way to express our thoughts without stepping on anyone’s toes. But let’s face it, this phrase can make us sound like we’re not confident in our own views.

When you start with “It’s just my opinion,” you’re downplaying your thoughts right off the bat. It makes it seem like you don’t believe your own ideas are valuable or worth considering.

So let’s cut the chase and drop the “just”. Your opinions matter. Stand by them. Present them straightforwardly. You’ve got this!

Believe me, it’s a liberating feeling when you start asserting yourself without holding back. Who knew language could make such a difference? So go on, embrace these changes and see how they transform your confidence!