10 things in life you should always keep to yourself, according to psychology

There’s a fine line between sharing and over-sharing in life.

It’s a balancing act of deciding what to reveal and what to retain. Contrary to our societal push towards total transparency, psychology suggests that there are certain things we should always keep to ourselves.

Knowing how to navigate this boundary can be tricky. But, don’t worry, I’m here to help guide you.

In this article, I’ll share with you the 10 things in life you should always keep to yourself. Trust me, these are secrets worth keeping. 

Let’s dive in. 

1) Personal goals and aspirations

There’s a certain sense of satisfaction that comes with sharing our dreams and goals with others. It feels good to talk about the milestones we’ve set for ourselves, and the ambitions we’re working towards.

However, psychology suggests a different approach. Research has shown that sharing your goals can create a premature sense of completeness. It’s as if the simple act of telling someone makes your brain believe you’re one step closer to achieving it.

This is known as social reality – once you’ve shared your goal, it becomes real in your social circle, and your brain starts to slack off.

While it may be tempting to shout your dreams from the rooftops, it may be better to keep them under wraps. Work quietly towards your goals and let your achievements speak for themselves.

Sometimes the best way to achieve your dreams is to keep them to yourself.

2) Personal grievances

We all have those moments when we feel wronged or slighted in life. Our first instinct might be to vent to anyone who’ll listen.

Take it from me, though, this can be a slippery slope.

A few years ago, I was passed over for a promotion at work. I was frustrated and hurt, and I couldn’t resist the urge to vent my feelings. So, I shared my disappointment and anger with a few colleagues.

While it felt good in the moment to have someone empathize with me, it ended up causing more problems than it solved. The word spread, and soon everyone in the office knew about my grievance. It created unnecessary tension and even affected my professional relationships.

It’s better to keep such personal grievances to ourselves. Not because they are invalid, but because sharing them can often lead to more harm than good.

So next time you’re dealt a bad hand, instead of broadcasting it to the world, try a different approach. Talk to a trusted friend or perhaps seek professional help. Remember, your peace of mind is worth more than a fleeting moment of catharsis.

3) Financial status

Money is a touchy subject. It’s often at the root of many disagreements, misunderstandings, and rifts.

Whether you’re swimming in riches or struggling to make ends meet, revealing your financial status can lead to assumptions and judgments from others.

People who openly discuss their income are often viewed as self-serving and less likeable.

Keeping your financial situation to yourself helps maintain harmony in relationships and fosters a sense of privacy and security. After all, your net worth doesn’t define your worth as an individual.

4) Family problems

Family issues are a part of life. No family is perfect, and we all have our share of ups and downs.

However, sharing these issues openly can sometimes lead to unwanted opinions, advice, and even judgment. It might also unknowingly place the listener in an uncomfortable position.

By keeping family problems within the family, you protect the sanctity of your private life and prevent outsiders from forming biased opinions.

It’s important to remember that seeking help when needed is crucial. But that help can be sought from professionals, like therapists or counselors, who can provide impartial and confidential advice.

Every family has its struggles, and it’s okay to keep them close to your chest.

5) Past resentments

We all have past experiences that we’re not proud of, or situations where we’ve been wronged. Holding onto these resentments can be harmful, and airing them out in public even more so.

When you share past resentments, you risk being perceived as someone who holds grudges, which can negatively impact your relationships. Moreover, dredging up old wounds keeps them fresh, preventing you from moving forward.

It’s healthier to let go of past resentments and focus on the present. And while it’s important to learn from past experiences, rehashing them publicly isn’t always the best approach.

It’s not about forgetting what happened, but about learning and growing from it privately.

6) Acts of kindness

There’s a beautiful saying that goes, “Do your giving while you’re living, so you’re knowing where it’s going.” Kindness is a virtue that should be practiced without the expectation of praise or recognition.

When we perform acts of kindness and then broadcast them, it can sometimes dilute the genuine nature of the act. The focus shifts from the act itself to our role in it.

Psychology suggests that keeping our good deeds to ourselves can increase personal satisfaction. It’s a private joy that you’ve made a difference in someone else’s life, and that in itself is reward enough.

Ultimately, it’s not about what others think of us, but how we feel about ourselves. So, the next time you do something kind for someone else, treasure it quietly within your heart.

7) Fears and insecurities

In a world that often prioritizes strength and confidence, admitting to our fears and insecurities can feel like a weakness. But let me tell you, it’s anything but.

I’ve always had a fear of public speaking. The mere thought of standing in front of a crowd would make my palms sweaty and my heart race. For the longest time, I let this fear define me. I shared it with everyone, thinking it would help me overcome it.

But instead, it led to people perceiving me as insecure. I was frequently overlooked for opportunities that involved public speaking, even when I was the most qualified candidate.

Sharing our fears and insecurities can sometimes lead to them defining us in other people’s eyes. It’s better to acknowledge them privately and work towards overcoming them without making them a public spectacle.

Everyone has fears and insecurities. It’s how we handle them that sets us apart.

8) Personal rituals or habits

We all have our quirks and idiosyncrasies. Perhaps you like to have a cup of hot cocoa before bed every night, or maybe you enjoy listening to classical music while working. These personal rituals or habits are what make us unique.

However, sharing these with others can sometimes lead to unsolicited advice or judgement. It might seem harmless to share that you prefer to tie your left shoe before the right one, but others may not see it that way.

These personal rituals are a part of who you are. Keeping them to yourself preserves their specialness and ensures they remain untainted by outside influence.

It’s these little habits that make you, uniquely you. There’s no need for them to be anyone else’s business.

9) Medical history

Our health is our wealth. It’s a deeply personal aspect of our lives that warrants discretion. Disclosing your medical history to others can sometimes lead to unwarranted advice, pity, or even discrimination.

While it’s important to share relevant health information with those who need to know (like doctors or emergency contacts), broadcasting it to everyone isn’t necessary.

By keeping your medical history private, you maintain control over who knows what about your health status.

Your health is a personal matter and it’s entirely up to you who you choose to share it with.

10) Self-doubts

We all have moments of self-doubt. It’s human nature to question ourselves and our abilities. However, voicing these doubts to others can sometimes lead to them perceiving us as less capable or confident.

Self-doubts are private battles that we fight within ourselves. Sharing them with others may validate them and prevent us from overcoming them.

Instead, confront your self-doubts privately, challenge them with positive affirmations and work towards silencing them.

You are stronger than your doubts, and only you have the power to prove them wrong.