10 things you don’t realize you’re doing because you have low self-esteem

There’s a stark contrast between being humble and having low self-esteem.

The difference is all about perception. Low self-esteem manifests in ways we often don’t realize, influencing our actions and decisions.

Being humble is a choice, while low self-esteem is a condition that can be worked on and improved. And trust me, recognizing the symptoms is the first step towards boosting your confidence.

Here are 10 things I bet you didn’t know you’re doing because of your low self-esteem.

Let’s dive in.

1) Over-apologizing

We’ve all been there.

You find yourself constantly saying “sorry” even when it’s not necessary. This could be a sign of low self-esteem.

Apologizing excessively is often a subconscious attempt to avoid conflict or criticism. It’s like a protective shield, preventing any potential negative feedback.

But hey, it’s crucial to remember that you don’t need to apologize for existing. You have as much right as anyone else to have an opinion, take up space, and make mistakes.

Over-apologizing might seem harmless on the surface, but it can diminish your self-worth over time. So next time you find yourself saying “sorry” unnecessarily, take a step back and ask yourself why you’re doing it.

It’s time to start breaking these habits and build a stronger, more confident you.

2) Seeking constant validation

I remember this one all too well.

There was a time when I found myself constantly seeking approval from others. Whether it was about my work, my appearance, or even my taste in music, I craved that nod of affirmation.

It’s like I needed others to validate my choices and decisions to feel good about myself. This constant need for validation, I later realized, was a direct result of low self-esteem.

If you’re doing the same thing, know that it’s not a healthy habit. Relying on external validation to feel good about yourself can lead to a never-ending cycle of self-doubt and dissatisfaction.

Your worth is not determined by others’ opinions. You are capable, you are valuable, and you certainly don’t need constant validation from others to believe it.

3) Neglecting self-care

Let’s talk about self-care, something that often slips through the cracks when you’re battling low self-esteem.

When you don’t value yourself enough, it can reflect in the way you treat your body and mind. You might skip meals, ignore exercise, or deprive yourself of sleep. You might even neglect your mental health, brushing off signs of stress or anxiety.

Did you know that a Harvard study found that self-neglect is one of the most common symptoms among people with low self-esteem?

If you’re skimping on self-care, it’s time to rethink. Your body and mind deserve love and attention, just like anyone else’s. Prioritize self-care and watch your self-esteem start to bloom.

4) Avoiding risks

Stepping out of your comfort zone can be scary, especially when you’re dealing with low self-esteem. You might find yourself shying away from new opportunities or avoiding challenging tasks.

This fear stems from a belief that failure is unacceptable, and this belief is often rooted in low self-esteem. You think you won’t be able to handle the disappointment if things don’t work out, so you choose to not take the risk at all.

Growth happens outside of your comfort zone. Taking risks, and even experiencing failures, can provide valuable lessons and experiences. So next time an opportunity presents itself, take a deep breath and step forward. You never know what you might discover about yourself.

5) Negative self-talk

We all have an internal monologue, a voice inside our heads that narrates our day-to-day experiences. But for those with low self-esteem, this voice can often be overly critical and negative.

You might catch yourself thinking things like “I can’t do this”, “I’m not good enough”, or “Everyone is better than me”. This kind of negative self-talk can be incredibly damaging, reinforcing your low self-esteem and holding you back from reaching your potential.

It’s time to challenge these thoughts and replace them with more positive, empowering beliefs. Remember, the way you talk to yourself matters. Be kind to yourself, you deserve it.

6) Struggling to accept compliments

This one hits close to home for many of us.

You know that awkward feeling when someone pays you a compliment and you just don’t know how to react? You brush it off, downplay it, or even deny it outright. This struggle to accept compliments is often a sign of low self-esteem.

You might feel unworthy of the praise or believe the person is just being nice. But let me tell you, you are worthy. Every compliment you receive is a recognition of your qualities and achievements.

When someone compliments you, take a moment to really let it sink in. Say thank you sincerely and hold on to that positive affirmation.

7) Comparing yourself to others

I remember scrolling through social media, looking at everyone’s highlight reels, and constantly comparing myself to them. Their lives seemed so perfect, and it made me feel like I was falling short.

If you find yourself doing the same, know that this comparison game is a trap. It can significantly lower your self-esteem and rob you of your happiness.

Everyone is on their own unique journey with their own set of challenges. The only person you should compare yourself to is the person you were yesterday. Work on being the best version of yourself, and celebrate your progress along the way.

8) Hiding your true self

It may seem like a good idea to hide your true self in order to fit in or avoid judgement. But this can actually do more harm than good.

When you’re not being authentic, it’s like telling yourself that the real you isn’t good enough. This can significantly lower your self-esteem and leave you feeling unfulfilled.

Tthe world needs your unique qualities and perspectives. Embrace who you are, quirks and all. Authenticity is attractive and it’s the key to building genuine relationships and a strong sense of self-worth.

9) Taking criticism to heart

Criticism is a part of life, but if you have low self-esteem, it can feel like a personal attack. You might find yourself dwelling on negative comments or feedback, letting it affect your mood and self-worth.

While constructive criticism can be helpful for growth, it’s important to remember that not all criticism is valid or worth your energy. You have the right to take in what’s useful, learn from it, and let go of the rest.

Don’t let criticism define you. Instead, use it as a tool for self-improvement and personal growth.

10) Settling for less

When you don’t value yourself, it’s easy to settle for less than you deserve. You might stay in a job you hate, tolerate disrespectful behavior, or accept less than satisfactory relationships.

But here’s the thing – you deserve more. You are worthy of respect, love, and fulfillment. Don’t let low self-esteem hold you back from demanding what you truly deserve.

Raise your standards and watch your life change. You are worth it.

Final thoughts: It’s about self-compassion

The complexities of human psychology and self-perception often lead us to places we might not fully understand ourselves.

One such place is the realm of low self-esteem, a state that can subtly influence our behaviors and choices.

At the heart of this issue, self-compassion emerges as a powerful tool for transformation. Dr. Kristin Neff, a pioneering researcher in the field of self-compassion, suggests that treating ourselves with kindness can significantly enhance our sense of self-worth.

So when you catch yourself over-apologizing, constantly seeking validation, or engaging in other behaviors linked to low self-esteem, take a moment. Extend kindness and understanding to yourself just as you would to a dear friend.

The journey to higher self-esteem isn’t a sprint, but a marathon. It requires patience, time, and above all – compassion for yourself. You are enough just as you are. And remember, the most important relationship you have is with yourself. Treat it with kindness.