7 things you don’t owe anyone an explanation for, according to psychology

For far too long, I found myself constantly justifying my decisions to people who didn’t really need an explanation.

You know the drill:

• Personal Life Choices
• Career Moves
• Individual Preferences
• Even why I left that last slice of pizza.

I spent years trapped in the mindset that I owed everyone an explanation for my actions, always second-guessing myself and worrying about what others might think. It was exhausting and, frankly, completely unnecessary.

The truth is, there are certain things in life that you simply don’t need to explain to anyone.

In this article, I’m going to share some eye-opening principles that helped me break free from the need to justify myself, and I hope they can do the same for you.

Let’s dive in.

1. Your boundaries

The first thing I learned  is that you don’t owe anyone an explanation for your boundaries.

Believe me, it took me a long time to understand this. I used to think explaining my boundaries was a must – it was a way of being fair to others. But then I realized, it’s my life.

Boundaries are deeply personal and they’re about preserving your mental and emotional health, not about appeasing others.

If you’re uncomfortable with something, it’s your right to say no, whether it’s a social event, a work commitment or a relationship expectation.

Your boundaries are valid, even if they inconvenience others or aren’t fully understood. You don’t need to justify them to anyone.

Setting and respecting our own boundaries can be challenging, especially if we’re used to putting others first. But trust me, it gets easier with practice.

Start small: the next time you feel an urge to explain your boundary, resist it. See how it feels to stand firm without justification. This was the first step in my journey towards not owing anyone an explanation for my personal decisions.

2. Your life priorities

This realization was a game changer for me. As the founder of Hack Spirit, an online self-improvement blog, I was often asked why I didn’t pursue a more traditional career path.

I found myself constantly trying to justify my choices, explaining my passion for psychology and spiritual growth. But then I came across a quote that perfectly captured what I was feeling:

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.” — Steve Jobs

This quote hit home and made me realize that my life priorities are mine to define. I didn’t need to justify or explain them to anyone else. My journey is uniquely my own.

Whether it’s choosing to prioritize your health over a high-stress job or putting your family before your career, your priorities don’t need validation from others.

Your journey is yours alone, and it’s perfectly okay if others don’t understand your path. As Steve Jobs wisely reminded us, don’t waste your time living someone else’s life.

3. Your self-care routine

I’ll be honest, I used to feel guilty about taking time out for myself. The world seemed to be moving at a breakneck pace and here I was, taking an afternoon off to meditate or read a book.

I thought I had to explain why I prioritized self-care – that it was essential for my mental health and productivity. But over time, I realized that my self-care routine didn’t need to be justified to anyone.

Whether it’s going for a run in the morning, enjoying a quiet coffee alone or spending an hour meditating, your self-care routine is your business. It’s what keeps you grounded, balanced and ready to face the world.

Don’t feel the need to explain why you’re taking time out for yourself. After all, you can’t pour from an empty cup. Prioritizing your well-being isn’t selfish, it’s necessary. And you don’t owe anyone an explanation for it.

4. Your eating habits

Now, this one was a bit tricky for me. I’m a vegetarian and I can’t count the number of times I’ve been asked to justify my dietary choices.

I used to explain my reasons, from ethical considerations to health benefits. But then, I stumbled upon a study conducted by the University of Oxford that changed my perspective.

This study found that a global shift towards a plant-based diet could reduce greenhouse gas emissions by 63% and ‘save’ up to 8 million lives by 2050.

Reading this reaffirmed my belief in my dietary choices. It reminded me that my eating habits were personal, chosen for reasons important to me, and didn’t need to be justified or explained to anyone.

Whether you’re vegan, gluten-free, or love your meat and potatoes – your diet is your business. It’s a personal choice and it doesn’t have to be defended or explained to anyone.

5. Your relationship status

I’ve been single, in a relationship, and everywhere in between. And throughout, I’ve found that people always have something to say about it.

“Why are you still single?” “When are you settling down?” “Why aren’t you dating more?” The questions were endless and often intrusive.

I used to feel compelled to justify my status, to explain why I was single or why I chose to be with the person I was with. But then, I realized it’s no one else’s business but mine.

Whether you’re single by choice, in a committed relationship, or exploring your options, remember that your relationship status is your business. It’s a personal part of your life that you don’t owe anyone an explanation for.

Your happiness and peace of mind should be the priority, not societal expectations or pressures. You don’t need to justify your decisions about your personal life to anyone.

6. Your career choices

The sixth thing you don’t owe anyone an explanation for is your career choices.

As someone who ventured off the traditional career path to start Hack Spirit, I’ve often been asked why I didn’t choose a more conventional route.

I used to explain my passion for psychology and spirituality and how it led me to what I do. But then, I remembered a quote from famous psychologist Abraham Maslow:

“What a man can be, he must be. This need we call self-actualization.”

This reminded me that my career choices were about fulfilling my potential and pursuing what I was passionate about, not about fitting into societal norms or expectations.

Whether you choose to be a teacher, an artist, a CEO or anything in between, your career is about your personal fulfillment and growth.

You don’t owe anyone an explanation for pursuing what makes you feel fulfilled and helps you reach your potential. As Maslow said, self-actualization is a basic human need and we should all strive for it in our own unique ways.

7. Your decision to say “No”

The final thing you don’t owe anyone an explanation for, and possibly the most counterintuitive, is your decision to say “No”.

We’re often conditioned to think that saying no is rude or unacceptable. I used to struggle with this myself and often ended up overcommitting and underdelivering.

But then I realized, saying “No” is not only acceptable, it’s necessary for maintaining our boundaries and mental health.

You don’t owe anyone an explanation for not agreeing to something that doesn’t align with your values, priorities, or simply your schedule.

It might feel uncomfortable at first, but remember: saying “No” can be empowering. It’s a sign of self-respect and clarity about your own needs.

Here’s a practical tip: start small. The next time you’re asked to do something you’d rather not do or don’t have the capacity for, politely decline without giving an explanation. It might feel awkward initially, but with practice, it becomes empowering and liberating.