Let’s admit it:
Many of us think of marriage as a contract sealed by legal documents.
But the Bible presents marriage not just as a societal agreement but as a sacred covenant blessed by God.
So, must a marriage be legally recognized to receive this divine blessing?
In this article, we’ll explore 8 biblical principles that define what makes a marriage successful and spiritually enriching.
Whether you’re formally wed or considering other forms of lifelong commitment, these guidelines offer deep insights into cultivating a relationship that transcends paper and ink, rooted in love, mutual respect, and divine approval.
1) Love unconditionally
There are few things more significant in a marriage than unconditional love.
And this principle isn’t just romantic banter. It’s deeply rooted in the teachings of the Bible.
In the New Testament, we find the Greek word “Agape“, which is often translated as ‘unconditional love’. This type of love goes beyond emotions or feelings. It’s about choosing to love your spouse, regardless of their actions or circumstances.
Remember, it’s easier to love someone when everything is going well. But the true test of unconditional love comes during challenging times.
This principle is beautifully explained in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, where it’s written:
“Love is patient, love is kind… it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
Look, I know living out this kind of love can be challenging as it requires constant effort and self-sacrifice. But when both partners strive to love each other in this way, they create a strong bond that can withstand any storm.
2) Forgive and let go
How often do we hold onto grudges, allowing bitterness to erode our relationships?
In my own marriage, I’ve found forgiveness to be a crucial pillar.
The Bible, in Ephesians 4:32, encourages us to “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
But I know, it’s easy to hold onto grudges and remember the wrongs done by your spouse, right?
I vividly recall a time when my wife and I had a major disagreement over a financial decision. I felt hurt, and for days, the resentment simmered within me.
Then I remembered this Biblical principle of forgiveness, and it wasn’t easy, but I made a conscious decision to forgive her.
We talked it out, I shared how I felt and she did the same. That conversation not only cleared the air between us but also brought us closer.
From then on, we both decided that no matter how hard things get, we’ll always choose forgiveness over resentment.
Believe me when I say this – forgiveness can bring about an incredible transformation in your marriage. It clears the path for healing and fosters an environment of understanding and love.
3) Keep God at the center
In a world where many things compete for our attention, it can be easy to push our spiritual lives to the sidelines.
But the Bible encourages us to keep God at the center of our marriages.
Ecclesiastes 4:12 says:
“Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”
This verse paints a vivid picture of a marriage where both partners, intertwined with God, form a strong bond that is not easily broken.
Keeping God at the center doesn’t just involve praying together, though. It also means seeking His guidance in every aspect of your marriage and striving to live according to His teachings.
Insight: Studies reveal that couples who practice forgiveness have healthier relationships, better mental health, and increased marital satisfaction.
4) Communicate effectively
The next principle is effective communication, as highlighted in James 1:19:
“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”
In a successful marriage, open and honest communication is vital. It creates a platform where feelings, thoughts, and ideas can be expressed without fear or judgment.
Effective communication in marriage involves:
- Active listening
- Nonverbal cues
- Open-ended questions
- Empathetic responses
These elements of communication foster mutual understanding and strengthen the bond between spouses. They allow for the resolution of conflicts in a loving and respectful manner, promoting peace and unity in the relationship.
Simply put, without effective communication, misunderstandings arise, leading to conflicts and discord. Therefore, mastering this principle is crucial for the success of any marriage.
5) Cherish each other
One of the most beautiful biblical principles for a successful marriage is the call to cherish each other.
In the Song of Solomon, one of the most poetic books in the Bible, the author writes:
“You have captivated my heart, my sister, my bride; you have captivated my heart with one glance of your eyes, with one jewel of your necklace.” (Song of Solomon 4:9)
This verse resonates with heartfelt admiration and deep respect between spouses. It’s about seeing your spouse as a precious gift and treating them as such.
So, here’s the thing:
In marriage, companionship goes beyond mere cohabitation. It’s about sharing experiences, supporting each other’s dreams, and growing together. It encompasses mutual respect, shared interests, and genuine friendship.
How so?
Well, think about it. Do you feel more fulfilled when you achieve something on your own or when you share the experience with someone you love?
6) Nurture your friendship
In my marriage, I’ve found that being friends with my wife, in addition to being her partner, has added a richness and depth to our relationship that I couldn’t have imagined.
The Bible speaks to this in Proverbs 17:17, saying:
“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”
Applying this principle to marriage means being there for your spouse not just in times of peace but also during strife.
There was a time when my wife was going through a professional crisis.
It was difficult, and she questioned her abilities. During that period, more than her husband, she needed a friend. Someone who could lend an ear, offer comfort, and provide reassurance.
I did my best to be that friend for her, and it brought us even closer together.
Having a strong friendship with your spouse can provide a solid foundation for your marriage. It can make the good times better and the tough times more bearable.
7) Show respect
This one is more straightforward:
Respect is a cornerstone of a successful marriage, and the Bible emphasizes this in several verses.
Ephesians 5:33, for instance, instructs:
“However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”
But what does it truly mean to be respectful?
Well, in the biblical context, respect means recognizing the value and worth of your spouse.
It’s about acknowledging their contributions, appreciating their efforts, and honoring their role in your life.
Respect is an attitude that manifests through actions – in the way you talk to your spouse, how you behave around them, and how you respond to their needs and concerns.
Consequently, this mutual respect creates a safe space for both partners to express themselves freely without fear of criticism or judgment.
8) Faithfulness — A testament of commitment
Above all, a successful marriage, according to the Bible, hinges on commitment.
Mark 10:9 reads, “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
This verse underlines the importance of commitment in a marriage.
However, there’s one thing you should know:
Faithfulness in marriage isn’t just about physical fidelity, although that’s certainly a part of it.
It also encompasses emotional loyalty, honesty, and trustworthiness. It means being reliable and consistent in your words and actions.
Besides, commitment isn’t just about staying together. It means choosing each other, every day, in every situation.
It’s about standing by each other through the highs and lows, the joys and sorrows, and the victories and defeats.
Without commitment, all the other principles can quickly crumble.
But with it, you can build a marriage that not only survives but thrives.
Final thoughts
The essence of a successful marriage, according to the Bible, is not rooted in a checklist of do’s and don’ts. Rather, it’s about embarking on a journey together, guided by these principles.
True love, as described in Corinthians 13:4-7, is patient, kind, and endures all things.
It’s about loving unconditionally, forgiving and letting go, keeping God at the center, communicating effectively, cherishing each other, nurturing your friendship, showing respect, and maintaining unwavering commitment.
Remember, these principles are not a one-time decision but a daily choice. Each day presents opportunities to grow together and strengthen your bond.
A successful marriage is like that three-stranded cord where you and your spouse are intertwined with God. It’s strong, resilient, and not easily broken.
