8 signs that someone is only pretending to be cooperative

There’s a stark difference between genuine cooperation and mere pretense.

The difference is all about authenticity. When someone is genuinely cooperative, they’re working with you towards a common goal. But when they’re just pretending, they’re playing a part, usually to serve their own interests.

In the world of teamwork, it’s essential to distinguish between the two. And luckily, there are signs that can help you spot those who are merely putting on a show of collaboration.

Below, I’ll share with you 8 signs to look out for when dealing with someone who might only be pretending to be cooperative.

1) Overly agreeable behavior

Cooperation often requires compromise and discussion, but someone who is merely pretending to cooperate may just agree with everything you say.

You see, genuine cooperation involves dialogues and sometimes, disagreements. It’s about working through differences to find the best solution.

But if someone is always nodding along with your ideas without offering any of their own, it could be a sign they’re not truly invested in the collaborative process.

Remember: cooperation isn’t about blind agreement. It’s about working together constructively. And that involves a certain amount of push and pull.

So keep an eye out for those who are constantly agreeable. It might be a sign they’re only pretending to be cooperative.

2) Lack of follow-through

In my own experience, another telltale sign of faux cooperation is a lack of follow-through.

I remember working with a colleague on a project once. He was always present at the meetings, nodding along, and seemingly engaged in the discussions. But when it came to actually doing the work, he was nowhere to be found.

He would promise to get tasks done by a certain deadline but rarely ever did. His actions didn’t match his words, and it became clear that his cooperation was only skin-deep.

If someone consistently fails to deliver on their commitments, it’s likely they’re only pretending to be cooperative. Genuine team players not only talk the talk but walk the walk.

3) Dominating conversations

In truly cooperative environments, everyone’s voice is valued and heard. However, in some cases, a person might dominate conversations under the guise of being cooperative.

Research shows that people who talk the most are often perceived as leaders, but this isn’t always the case. Sometimes, they are simply trying to control the narrative or steer the team in a direction that suits them.

So if you notice someone consistently taking up more than their fair share of airtime in team meetings or discussions, it could be a sign they’re pretending to be cooperative while subtly pushing their own agenda. A true team player knows when to talk and when to listen.

4) Avoiding responsibility

Someone pretending to be cooperative may often shirk responsibility. They’ll agree to take on tasks but when things go south, they’re quick to shift the blame onto others.

They might say things like, “I thought you were handling that,” or, “That wasn’t my job.” These are classic signs of someone avoiding responsibility rather than truly cooperating.

Genuine cooperation involves sharing both successes and failures. If someone is quick to celebrate wins but disappears or points fingers when there’s a problem, it’s likely they’re not as cooperative as they seem.

5) Lack of empathy

Cooperation is about more than just working together. It’s about understanding and respecting each other’s perspectives and feelings. This is where empathy comes in.

Someone pretending to be cooperative might lack this crucial trait. They might dismiss others’ concerns, fail to acknowledge their feelings, or be insensitive to their needs.

I’ve seen this happen, and it can be deeply hurtful. It creates a divide in a team, making it hard to work together effectively.

True cooperation requires empathy. It’s about seeing things from another person’s perspective and treating their emotions with respect. So, if someone lacks empathy, chances are, they’re not genuinely cooperative.

6) Overpromising and under-delivering

I’ve learned the hard way that someone who constantly overpromises and under-delivers is likely pretending to be cooperative.

I once had a team member who was always the first to volunteer for tasks. He would assure us he could handle it all, but when the deadlines rolled around, the work was either incomplete or poorly done. It was frustrating and resulted in the rest of us scrambling to cover for him.

Genuine cooperation involves setting realistic expectations and meeting them. If someone is always promising the moon but delivering far less, it’s a strong sign they’re not truly cooperative.

7) Frequent interruptions

An individual who frequently interrupts others during discussions is likely pretending to be cooperative. True cooperation involves active listening, which means allowing others to express their thoughts without interruption.

Interrupting, especially without apologizing or acknowledging it, can be a sign of disrespect. It suggests that the interrupter places their own thoughts and opinions above those of others.

If someone consistently interrupts team members during discussions, they’re not truly participating in the cooperative process. Genuine collaborators understand the value of each voice and give everyone a chance to speak.

8) Lack of interest in team success

The most important sign that someone is only pretending to be cooperative is a lack of interest in the team’s success. True cooperation means caring about the group’s goals, not just individual achievements.

If someone is more focused on their own success and doesn’t celebrate team wins or show concern for team struggles, they’re likely not genuine in their cooperation. A truly cooperative individual understands that when the team succeeds, everyone succeeds.

Final thoughts: It’s all about authenticity

The nuances of human behavior and interactions are complex, often rooted in our individual motivations and experiences.

The reality of cooperation is that it’s deeply entwined with sincerity and authenticity. True cooperation isn’t just about saying the right things or being present in a meeting; it’s about genuine engagement, accountability, and commitment to a common goal.

When dealing with someone who might be pretending to be cooperative, remember these signs. They might help you understand their true intentions and navigate your interactions more effectively.

In the end, authentic cooperation is the lifeblood of successful teams and relationships. It’s not just about getting things done, but about creating an environment where everyone feels valued, heard, and part of a common endeavor.

And that’s something worth striving for.