8 signs you’re handling a controlling person in a Christ-like manner

There’s a fine line between assertive and controlling, especially when it comes to people. The difference often lies in how you react to them.

Dealing with a controlling person can be tricky, but there are ways to do so that reflect the love, patience and wisdom Christ exemplified.

In this journey, it’s crucial to recognize the signs that you’re handling such situations in a Christ-like manner.

In this piece, I’ll share with you 8 signs that you’re managing these tricky situations just right. Here’s a peek into how you can emulate Christ’s responses in the face of control.

1) You respond with love and patience

Handling controlling people can be a challenging task. Their behavior can often be frustrating and push you to your limits. But how you react to them says a lot about your Christ-like character.

Take a moment and consider Jesus’ teachings. He responded with love and patience, even in the face of control or hostility.

This doesn’t mean you have to accept bad behavior. It’s about reacting with compassion rather than anger, understanding rather than retaliation.

When you’re able to respond with love and patience, you’re showing a Christ-like approach in dealing with controlling people. It’s a sign that you’re not letting their behavior dictate your reaction, but instead, reflecting the love of Christ in your responses.

Remember, patience is key. And this is one of the hardest but most rewarding practices to emulate from Christ’s teachings.

2) You maintain your peace

There’s this one time I found myself dealing with a particularly controlling friend. Every conversation felt like a tug of war, each suggestion a battle to win.

I could have easily let my frustrations get the better of me. But I remembered the teachings of Christ, about maintaining peace even in trying situations.

So, instead of engaging in an argument, I chose to remain calm. I would listen, understand, and then calmly state my point of view without trying to dominate the conversation.

This didn’t mean that I was letting myself be controlled. Rather, I was demonstrating the strength of maintaining inner peace and respect for others’ opinions, as Christ would have done.

Maintaining your peace amidst a controlling person’s demands is a clear sign that you’re handling the situation in a Christ-like manner. It shows you’re not allowing their behavior to disrupt your inner calm and that you’re responding with grace and dignity.

3) You set healthy boundaries

Setting boundaries is a crucial aspect of any relationship, but it becomes even more important when dealing with a controlling person.

Jesus himself was an advocate of setting boundaries. For instance, when he withdrew to the wilderness to pray, he was setting a boundary for his personal time with God.

Despite being the Savior of the world, even He knew the importance of personal space and time.

When you set clear and healthy boundaries with a controlling person, you’re not just protecting your own peace and sanity, but also following a Christ-like path. It’s about showing respect — both for yourself and for the other person.

Remember, setting boundaries doesn’t mean cutting people off. It is about defining the limits of what you find acceptable and respectful in their behavior towards you.

4) You exhibit forgiveness

Forgiveness is a hallmark of Christ’s teachings. He forgave those who persecuted him, setting an example for us to follow.

Dealing with a controlling person can lead to feelings of resentment or anger. However, holding onto these negative emotions can be more harmful to you than them.

When you practice forgiveness, you’re not condoning their behavior or control tactics. Instead, you’re choosing to let go of the negativity that can weigh heavy on your heart.

Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting. It means acknowledging the hurt, learning from it, and moving forward without letting it control your emotions.

Exhibiting forgiveness in the face of control reflects a Christ-like approach to handling such situations. It’s a sign that you’re not only handling the situation with grace but also growing spiritually through the process.

5) You pray for them

Prayer is a powerful tool that we often overlook, especially when dealing with challenging people. It’s easier to complain, hold grudges or even distance ourselves from them.

But what if we turned to prayer instead?

Christ teaches us to pray for those who mistreat us. It’s a form of love that goes beyond human comprehension; a love that reflects the heart of Christ.

When you pray for a controlling person, you’re not just praying for a change in their behavior. You’re also praying for their wellbeing, their understanding, and their growth.

This heartfelt act not only helps you deal with the situation in a loving way, but it also brings peace to your heart. It’s a beautiful reflection of handling the situation in a Christ-like manner.

After all, prayer changes things – starting with our own hearts.

6) You seek wisdom and guidance

I remember a time when I was constantly clashing with a controlling person in my life. It was draining and I felt lost, not knowing how to handle the situation.

Instead of letting despair take over, I decided to seek wisdom and guidance through prayer and studying God’s word.

The Bible is filled with wisdom on how to deal with difficult people and situations. By seeking guidance from it, I was able to find new ways to navigate the situation.

This doesn’t mean that the person’s controlling behavior suddenly stopped, but it gave me the strength and wisdom to respond in a way that reflected Christ’s love.

When you’re dealing with a controlling person, seeking wisdom is not just about finding solutions. It’s also about growing in your faith and learning to rely on God’s guidance.

This is a clear sign that you’re handling the situation in a Christ-like manner – showing humility, recognizing that you don’t have all the answers, and leaning on God for wisdom.

7) You show kindness in your actions

Kindness is one of the greatest virtues that Christ teaches us. It’s easy to be kind to those who treat us well, but showing kindness to a controlling person can be quite challenging.

It’s important to remember that being kind doesn’t mean becoming a pushover or allowing someone to control you. It’s about showing respect and understanding, even when it’s difficult.

Christ showed kindness to those who opposed him, setting an example for us to follow.

When you show kindness in your actions, even when dealing with a controlling person, you’re demonstrating Christ’s love and patience.

It’s a sign that you’re handling the situation in a Christ-like manner – not letting their behavior affect your character, but instead choosing to reflect Christ’s love through your actions.

8) You practice self-care

In dealing with a controlling person, it’s easy to lose oneself in the process. This is why self-care is crucial.

Jesus himself took time to rest and recharge. He understood the importance of caring for one’s own physical, emotional, and spiritual wellbeing.

Practicing self-care isn’t selfish. It’s about preserving your energy so you can continue to reflect Christ’s love to those around you.

When you prioritize taking care of yourself, you’re better equipped to handle controlling people in a Christ-like manner. You’re acknowledging that your wellbeing is important, just as Christ acknowledged the importance of rest and rejuvenation.

Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup. Take care of yourself first, so you can continue to shine God’s love on others, even in difficult situations.

Final thoughts: It’s a journey of growth

The road to handling a controlling person in a Christ-like manner is not always straightforward. There may be moments of frustration, confusion, and even despair.

However, it’s these very challenges that can bring about remarkable growth in our character and faith.

Remember Jesus’ teachings, “But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you” (Luke 6:27).

This isn’t merely about dealing with difficult people; it’s about demonstrating love, patience, and understanding in the face of adversity. It’s about reflecting Christ’s teachings in our interactions with others, regardless of their behavior.

As you navigate this journey, remember that every step you take is a testament to your faith and resilience. It’s an opportunity for spiritual growth and an embodiment of Christ’s love.

And while it might be challenging, the rewards — peace, wisdom, growth — are immeasurable. So take heart and continue on this journey with grace and courage. After all, we are not alone on this path; Christ is with us every step of the way.