Being in a relationship is one thing, but being with a true life partner is a whole different ball game.
It’s about more than just being together; it’s about sharing a deep bond and connection that surpasses the typical benchmarks of what it means to be a significant other.
As Tina Fey, the founder of Love Connection blog and a seasoned relationship expert, I’ve come to understand the subtle differences that separate the two.
In my years of helping individuals navigate their relationships, I’ve identified eight clear signs that reveal if you’re in a relationship with a genuine life partner, not just a significant other.
Let’s get started.
1) Unconditional support
In relationships, we often come across different situations and scenarios. Some are smooth sailing while others are rougher waters. But how your partner reacts and supports you during these times says a lot about whether they’re just a significant other or a true life partner.
True life partners don’t just cheer you on when things are going well. They stand by your side, offering support and encouragement, even when the going gets tough.
It’s the kind of support that goes beyond simple words. It’s actions, gestures, and sometimes merely their silent presence that speaks volumes.
This unconditional support is not about being right or wrong in a situation. It’s about being there for each other, no matter what. It’s about understanding that life has ups and downs, and sticking together through them all.
2) They challenge you
Love is not about agreeing with each other all the time. It’s about growth and helping each other become the best version of ourselves. And that often involves challenging each other.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying your partner should be criticizing or belittling you. What I mean is, a true life partner will push you to grow, to step out of your comfort zone, and to explore new horizons.
I’ve seen it in my own relationship and countless others I’ve helped nurture. A true life partner will believe in your potential more than you do at times. They’ll inspire you to reach new heights, even when self-doubt creeps in.
As the brilliant author F. Scott Fitzgerald once said, “The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.” This quote holds true for relationships too.
Being challenged by your partner doesn’t mean constant disagreement. It means having the ability to see things from different perspectives and still function as a team. If your significant other is doing this, they’re not just a partner; they’re a life partner.
3) Shared values
One of the biggest indicators of a true life partner is the alignment of fundamental values. It’s not about having the same hobbies or liking the same movies; it’s about sharing the same core beliefs and principles.
In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I delve into how shared values serve as the foundation for a strong, healthy, and long-lasting relationship.
In fact, I’ve seen in my own life how shared values with my partner have helped us navigate through difficult times and decisions. It’s like having a mutual compass that guides us through life’s twists and turns.
Your partner doesn’t have to mirror you in every way, but if they respect and uphold the same values that are important to you – be it honesty, kindness, or ambition – then you’re with someone who is more than just a significant other.
4) Comfortable silences
This might sound counterintuitive, but one of the signs of a true life partner is the ability to enjoy comfortable silences together.
In a world where we’re constantly bombarded with noise and chatter, silence has become somewhat unusual. Many people feel the need to fill every silence, worrying that it might be interpreted as boredom or disinterest.
But in a true partnership, silence doesn’t equate to awkwardness. Instead, it’s a moment of shared understanding, a symbol of comfort and ease with each other’s presence. It’s about feeling content and connected, even without words.
I’ve experienced this in my own relationship. We could be driving, walking, or just sitting on our favourite couch – not saying a word – and yet feeling completely connected. It’s a beautiful thing.
5) They’re your biggest cheerleader
When you’re with a true life partner, they become your biggest cheerleader. They celebrate your successes, no matter how small, and are genuinely thrilled for you.
I remember when I first started the Love Connection blog. It was a small project, something I was doing on the side. But my partner was there every step of the way, cheering me on, sharing my posts, and encouraging me to reach my full potential.
A true life partner isn’t threatened by your success but rejoices in it. They don’t compete with you but lift you higher. They understand that your achievements don’t diminish theirs.
6) They see your flaws… and love you anyway
This is a raw and honest truth – we all have flaws. We’re human, after all. But a true life partner doesn’t just tolerate your shortcomings; they love you, warts and all.
They understand that your imperfections are part of what makes you uniquely you. They don’t expect or demand perfection; instead, they appreciate you for who you truly are, in all your flawed beauty.
A true life partner will see your mess, your quirks, your insecurities and say, “I see all of that, and I still choose you.”
7) They’re there in the ordinary moments
The true essence of a relationship isn’t just about the grand gestures or high points. It’s about the ordinary, everyday moments that often go unnoticed.
As the award-winning author, Brene Brown, once said, “Joy comes to us in ordinary moments. We risk missing out when we get too busy chasing down the extraordinary.”
In my own relationship, I’ve found this to be true. Some of my most cherished memories are not from extravagant vacations or big celebrations, but from quiet mornings over coffee or evening walks around our neighborhood.
A true life partner is someone who finds joy and fulfillment in these simple, shared experiences. They’re there with you, in the thick of everyday life, making those ordinary moments feel extraordinary.
If you find joy and connection in the ordinary moments with your partner, then you’re likely with your true life partner.
8) They challenge you to be better, but love you as you are
This point is a delicate balance, a raw and honest truth at the heart of any true partnership. A life partner will challenge you to grow and become a better version of yourself. Yet, they’ll also love and accept you, just as you are.
They won’t try to change you or mold you into someone else. Instead, they’ll encourage your personal growth while cherishing the person you are right now.
It’s not about constant criticism or impossible expectations. It’s about gentle nudges towards growth, coupled with infinite patience and acceptance.
In a world that’s constantly telling us we’re not enough, having someone who believes you’re perfect as you are – while still encouraging you to grow – is a rare gem.
Final Thoughts
Love is a journey, not a destination. And while it can be a beautiful ride, it also comes with its share of bumps and crossroads.
But when you’re with a true life partner, those challenges become stepping stones, not stumbling blocks. You weather the storms together, growing stronger as individuals and as a couple.
Remember, these signs are just guidelines. Every relationship is unique and what matters most is that it feels right to you.
For more in-depth insights and tips on building a healthy and fulfilling relationship, check out my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship.
In the end, love is about finding someone who matches you in ways that matter most. And when you find that person, hold on tight, because you’ve found not just a significant other, but a true life partner.
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