8 steps to heal your marriage through Christian faith

There’s a world of difference between merely surviving in your marriage and truly thriving in it.

The difference lies in faith. Navigating through marital struggles without faith is like wandering in the dark with a broken compass. However, leaning on Christian faith can illuminate the path towards healing and reconciliation.

Healing your marriage through Christian faith isn’t about deciding who’s right and who’s wrong. It’s about surrendering to God’s wisdom, inviting His love into your relationship, and taking conscious steps towards a shared goal.

I’ll be sharing eight steps to help guide you on this journey. These steps are not quick fixes or magic solutions, but rather spiritual practices to cultivate love, understanding, and patience in your marriage.

So, here we go – let’s delve into these eight steps that could help heal your marriage through Christian faith.

1) Prayer

Prayer is at the heart of Christian faith. It’s our direct line of communication with God.

In the context of marriage, prayer can be a powerful tool. It’s not about pleading with God to change your spouse or to magically fix your problems. That’s not how it works.

Instead, prayer is about opening your heart and listening. It’s about seeking wisdom, patience, and understanding. It’s about surrendering control and trusting in God’s plan for your marriage.

When things get tough in your marriage, it’s easy to point fingers or lose hope. But prayer invites us to pause, reflect, and seek guidance from a higher power.

Remember, prayer isn’t a one-time thing or a last resort. It should be a consistent part of your marriage. So take time each day to pray – for yourself, for your spouse, and for your marriage.

And while praying alone is beneficial, praying together as a couple can bring you closer and strengthen your bond.

So start with prayer. It’s the first step towards healing your marriage through Christian faith.

2) Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a cornerstone of Christian faith. We’re all imperfect, we all make mistakes. And in a marriage, those mistakes can cause hurt and resentment.

I remember a time in my own marriage when my spouse and I were going through a particularly rough patch. There was a misunderstanding that led to harsh words and hurt feelings. The tension was palpable and it felt like there was a great divide between us.

One day, during my quiet time with God, I felt a gentle nudge towards forgiveness. It wasn’t about who was right or wrong, but about releasing the burden of resentment that was weighing us down.

I shared this with my spouse and we decided to have a heart-to-heart conversation. We acknowledged our mistakes, apologized sincerely, and chose to forgive each other.

Was it easy? Far from it. Forgiveness is hard. It takes humility and courage. But it’s also liberating.

When you forgive, you let go of the bitterness that’s poisoning your heart and your marriage. It paves the way for healing and reconciliation.

So take that step. Choose to forgive your spouse, and yourself. Remember, forgiveness isn’t just about the other person – it’s also about setting yourself free from the chains of resentment.

3) Biblical guidance

The Bible isn’t just a book, it’s a guidebook for life. It contains valuable wisdom and principles that can help you navigate through the challenges of marriage.

In Ephesians 4:32, for example, we’re told to “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” This verse doesn’t merely suggest kindness and forgiveness, it commands it – illustrating that these virtues are crucial in maintaining harmony in relationships.

Similarly, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 defines love not just as an emotion, but as a set of actions: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs…”

These verses can serve as a roadmap for your marriage. When you face conflicts or disagreements, refer back to these biblical teachings. Let them guide your actions and responses.

So take time to read and reflect on the Bible together. It’s a powerful tool that can help heal and strengthen your marriage.

4) Seek wise counsel

There’s an old saying that goes, “You can’t see the forest for the trees.” When you’re in the middle of a marital conflict, it can be hard to see the bigger picture. That’s why seeking wise counsel can be so beneficial.

Don’t be afraid to reach out to trusted individuals in your life – perhaps a pastor, a Christian marriage counselor, or a mature couple whose relationship you admire. These individuals can provide valuable perspectives and guidance based on their own experiences and wisdom.

Keep in mind though, it’s crucial that this counsel aligns with biblical teachings. Advice that contradicts the principles of Christian faith may do more harm than good.

So don’t isolate yourself. Seek wise counsel and allow their wisdom to guide you towards healing and reconciliation in your marriage. Remember, it’s not a sign of weakness to seek help, but rather a sign of strength and humility.

5) Rekindle the love

Love is the foundation of every marriage. But over time, amidst the busyness of life and the challenges of marriage, that love can sometimes feel like it’s fading.

But remember this – love is not just a feeling, it’s a choice. Every day, you have the opportunity to choose to love your spouse, even when they’re not at their best.

Take time to recall why you fell in love in the first place. Think about those qualities that drew you to your spouse. Reflect on those precious memories that you’ve built together over the years.

Then, express that love. Leave a sweet note for your spouse, plan a surprise date, or simply say “I love you” out of the blue. Small gestures can make a big difference.

Rekindling love in your marriage isn’t about grand gestures or dramatic declarations. It’s about making a conscious choice every day to love and cherish your spouse.

So choose love. Choose to see the best in your spouse. Choose to rekindle that spark. It’s a beautiful step towards healing your marriage through Christian faith.

6) Embrace change

Change is a part of life. We all grow and evolve, and so do our relationships. What worked in your marriage five years ago might not work today. And that’s okay.

I recall a time in my life when my spouse and I were growing apart. We had different interests, and our paths seemed to be diverging. It was a scary time, filled with uncertainty.

Instead of resisting this change, we decided to embrace it. We started exploring each other’s interests, finding new activities to do together, and learning to appreciate our differences.

We discovered that change wasn’t something to be feared, but rather an opportunity to grow individually and as a couple.

So don’t fear change. Embrace it. Use it as an opportunity to learn, grow, and deepen your connection with your spouse. It might be challenging at first, but trust me, it’s worth it.

7) Practice patience

Healing a marriage doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a process, and it takes time. And during this process, patience is key.

It’s easy to get impatient, especially when progress seems slow or when old issues resurface. But remember, healing is not a straight line. There will be ups and downs, progress and setbacks.

Don’t let the setbacks discourage you. Instead, see them as opportunities to practice patience and perseverance.

When you’re patient, you give your spouse the space to grow and change at their own pace. You also give yourself the time to heal and learn.

So practice patience. It’s not just about waiting for things to get better. It’s about staying committed and persistent, even when things are tough. It’s about believing in the power of time and faith to heal your marriage.

8) Rely on God’s grace

At the end of the day, healing your marriage through Christian faith is not about your strength or wisdom. It’s about relying on God’s grace.

God’s grace is sufficient for us, even in our weakest moments. It’s His grace that gives us the strength to forgive, the patience to endure, and the love to keep going.

So when you’re feeling overwhelmed or discouraged, turn to God. Lean on His grace. Trust in His love and power to heal and restore your marriage.

Remember, it’s not by might, nor by power, but by His Spirit. Let His grace be the foundation of your journey towards healing your marriage.

Final thoughts: It’s a journey

Marriage, like life itself, is a journey. There will be peaks of joy and valleys of sorrow, times of harmony and moments of conflict. It’s not always easy, and it’s certainly not always perfect.

The steps outlined here are not a magic formula. They won’t instantly fix every issue or heal every wound. But they can guide you on the path towards healing and reconciliation.

At the heart of this journey is your faith. As Psalm 147:3 reminds us, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” God’s healing power goes beyond our physical ailments. It reaches into the depths of our hearts and relationships.

So, lean on your Christian faith. Apply these steps. Forgive, love, pray, seek guidance, embrace change, practice patience, and rely on God’s grace.

Remember, healing a marriage through Christian faith is not just about mending what’s broken. It’s about growing stronger together, fostering a deeper connection with your spouse, and strengthening your relationship with God.

As you embark on this journey, may you find peace in the knowledge that God is with you every step of the way.