8 things in life that don’t actually matter in the long run, according to psychology

Life can sometimes feel like an intense marathon as we rush to ensure everything is perfectly aligned, from our job performance to our relationships. But here’s a thought – what if some of these things we’re stressing over don’t really matter in the grand scheme of things?

According to psychology, there are certain aspects in life that we place unwarranted importance on. These are things that, ultimately, may not matter as much as we think they do in the long run.

In this article, we’ll take a deep dive into eight of these things. It’s time to stop sweating the small stuff and focus on what really counts.

Let’s get started.

1) Chasing perfection

We all know that person who is always striving for perfection, whether in their work, personal life, or appearance. They’re constantly in a race against themselves, setting the bar higher and higher.

But here’s the kicker – according to psychology, this relentless pursuit of perfection doesn’t really matter in the long run. In fact, it can even be detrimental to our mental health.

Perfection is an unattainable standard, simply because we’re human and humans are inherently flawed. The constant pressure to be perfect can lead to anxiety, depression, and even burnout.

Instead of chasing perfection, it’s healthier and more beneficial to strive for progress. Celebrate every step forward, no matter how small. Remember, life is a journey, not a race to perfection.

So, the next time you find yourself stressing over a minor mistake or imperfection, take a deep breath and remind yourself that it doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things.

2) Keeping up with the Joneses

I’ll be honest. There was a time in my life when I was fixated on what my neighbors were doing. If they got a new car, I felt the need to upgrade mine. If their kids were enrolled in an elite school, I would stress over getting my kids in there too. It was an exhausting cycle that left me feeling perpetually unsatisfied.

Psychology, however, tells us that this comparison game is one of those things that don’t actually matter in the long run. It’s a recipe for discontentment and can rob us of our joy.

Each of us has a unique path with different timelines and milestones. The sooner we realize this and focus on our own journey, the happier we’ll be.

I can vouch for this from personal experience. Once I stopped comparing and started appreciating everything I have, I found a deep sense of contentment that no shiny new car or prestigious school could give me.

3) Holding onto grudges

Here’s something you might not know. Holding onto grudges and harboring resentment can actually lead to physical health issues, including heart disease and stroke.

Psychology suggests that the act of forgiveness, on the other hand, has numerous benefits for our mental and physical health. It reduces stress, lowers blood pressure, and can even improve our sleep.

The key is to remember that forgiveness is more for us than for the person who wronged us. It’s about letting go of the negative emotions that are weighing us down and freeing ourselves to move forward.

Sure, it’s not always easy to forgive. But when we consider the potential health benefits, it becomes clear that holding onto grudges is one of those things that just doesn’t matter in the long run.

4) Obsessing over the past

We’ve all been there – replaying past mistakes over and over in our minds, or wishing we could go back and change something. But according to psychology, obsessing over the past is one of those things that doesn’t actually matter in the long run.

Why? Because no amount of rumination can change what has already happened. It only keeps us stuck, preventing us from moving forward and fully living in the present.

Instead of dwelling on the past, it’s more beneficial to learn from our mistakes and use them as stepping stones towards growth and improvement.

Remember, the past can be a great teacher, but a terrible master. So let’s choose to learn from it, and then let it go.

5) Seeking external validation

We live in a world that thrives on likes, shares, and comments. A world where a person’s worth is often measured by their social media following or the approval of their peers. But here’s a heartfelt truth – seeking external validation doesn’t matter in the long run.

Psychology tells us that true happiness and self-worth come from within. They’re not tied to how many people like our posts or how many friends we have. They’re about knowing who we are, valuing ourselves, and being proud of our achievements.

When we learn to validate ourselves, we become less dependent on the approval of others. We’re free to be our authentic selves, without fear of judgement or rejection.

So let’s stop seeking validation from others and start giving it to ourselves. Because at the end of the day, our opinion of ourselves is what truly matters.

6) Fear of failure

I’ve always been a bit of a perfectionist. Whether it was at school or in my career, I always felt the need to succeed. The thought of failing, of not meeting expectations, was terrifying to me.

But here’s what psychology taught me: fear of failure doesn’t actually matter in the long run. In fact, it can hold us back from taking risks and pursuing our dreams.

Failure isn’t the end of the world. It’s a stepping stone to success. It’s through our failures that we learn, grow, and become better.

So, I’ve learned to embrace failure. To see it not as a setback, but as an opportunity. And let me tell you, it’s been liberating.

Remember, it’s not about how many times you fall, but how many times you get back up. So don’t let fear hold you back. Take that leap and see where it takes you.

7) Accumulating material possessions

In a society driven by consumerism, it’s easy to fall into the trap of believing that accumulating more stuff will make us happier. A bigger house, a fancier car, the latest gadgets – we often chase these material possessions thinking they’ll bring us satisfaction.

But according to psychology, this is one of those things that doesn’t actually matter in the long run. Material possessions can provide temporary happiness, but they don’t lead to long-term fulfillment.

True happiness comes from experiences, relationships, and personal growth – things that can’t be bought or sold.

So instead of focusing on accumulating more stuff, let’s focus on creating meaningful experiences and nurturing our relationships. These are the things that truly enrich our lives in the long run.

8) Trying to please everyone

Perhaps the most important thing to remember is that trying to please everyone doesn’t matter in the long run. It’s simply impossible to make everyone happy without sacrificing your own happiness and well-being in the process.

Living your life according to others’ expectations is a surefire way to lose sight of who you are and what you truly want.

So let’s make a pact to live for ourselves. To make decisions based on our own values and desires, rather than trying to fit into someone else’s mold. Because at the end of the day, it’s your life. Live it authentically and unapologetically.

Final thoughts: The pursuit of what truly matters

As we journey through life, it’s easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of societal expectations and self-imposed pressures. But understanding the psychology behind what truly matters in the long run can be a transformative revelation.

The realization that perfection, external validation, and accumulation of material possessions don’t contribute to long-term happiness can free us from unnecessary burdens. Recognizing that holding grudges, obsessing over the past, or trying to please everyone serves no purpose but to drain our energy, allows us to focus on what truly counts.

As Carl Jung, a pioneer in psychology, once said, “Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.” This journey is about looking inside and identifying what brings genuine contentment.

So here’s an invitation to reflect and reevaluate. To let go of the things that don’t truly matter and to focus on cultivating inner peace, self-love, and authentic relationships. Because at the end of this winding journey we call life, it’s these intangible aspects that will have mattered the most.