8 things you should never apologize for, according to psychology

We’ve all had those moments where we say “I’m sorry” out of habit, even when we’re not at fault. But there are certain situations in life where you simply don’t need to apologize.

In this article, we’ll explore eight important things you should never feel the need to apologize for. It’s time to stand tall, reclaim your confidence, and remember that not every situation requires an apology.

Let’s dive in.

1) Your feelings

Let’s start with the most personal one. Our feelings.

When it comes to our emotions, we often find ourselves saying sorry for how we feel. Maybe you’re upset about something your partner did, or perhaps you’re just having a rough day and feeling a bit down.

The thing is, our emotions are our own and they’re valid. Emotions are not right or wrong, they just are. They’re a part of who we are and how we interact with the world.

Psychology reminds us that it’s healthy to express our emotions, not suppress them. Each one of us has a right to our own feelings, and there’s absolutely no need to apologize for them.

When you find yourself about to apologize for feeling a certain way, pause. Recognize that your feelings have worth and don’t need an apology. It’s okay to feel what you feel. It’s part of being human.

No matter what those feelings are, they’re yours and there’s no need to say sorry for them.

2) Saying no

Ah, the power of ‘no’. It’s a small word, but boy does it pack a punch.

How many times have you found yourself apologizing for saying no to something? Whether it’s a social invite you can’t attend, or an extra task at work when your plate is already overflowing?

I’ve been there too. Feeling that pang of guilt, the need to cushion the blow with an “I’m sorry”. But psychology tells us this is one thing we should stop apologizing for.

Saying ‘no’ is about setting boundaries and respecting your own time and energy. It’s not about being rude or unkind, it’s about knowing your limits and acknowledging your needs.

As the legendary Warren Buffet once said, “The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.”

3) Prioritizing your self-care

“Sorry, but I just need some time for myself today.” How often have we used that line, right?

But here’s the thing – you should never feel the need to apologize for taking care of yourself.

In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I talk a lot about the importance of self-care. It’s not just about pampering and relaxation, it’s about maintaining a relationship with yourself.

Self-care is about understanding your needs and making sure they’re met. It’s about putting on your own oxygen mask before helping others with theirs.

If you’re constantly running on empty, neglecting your own needs for the sake of others, then you’re heading towards burnout and resentment. Trust me, I’ve been there.

Don’t apologize for taking that yoga class, or for spending an evening reading a book instead of entertaining. Prioritize your self-care, and remember that it’s not only okay but necessary to take care of yourself first. No apologies necessary.

4) Not knowing the answer

Now, this one might seem a bit counterintuitive. Aren’t we supposed to apologize when we don’t know something? Isn’t that just common courtesy?

Well, not necessarily.

There’s a common misconception that admitting we don’t know something is a sign of weakness or incompetence. But it’s actually quite the opposite.

Not knowing something and acknowledging it shows that you’re honest, humble, and open to learning. It’s a sign of strength and intelligence to recognize that you don’t know everything – nobody does!

Whenyou’re faced with a question or a situation where you don’t know the answer, don’t apologize. Instead, see it as an opportunity to learn something new.

The smartest people are those who realize how much they still have to learn. No apologies needed for that!

5) Your past mistakes

Let’s talk about past mistakes. We’ve all made them, haven’t we? I certainly have.

It’s easy to get caught up in the cycle of regret and apologies for things we’ve done or decisions we’ve made in the past. But here’s the thing: you should never apologize for your past mistakes.

Why? Because those mistakes are part of what has shaped you into the person you are today. They’re lessons, stepping stones on the path to self-growth.

Every misstep is an opportunity to learn, grow, and become a better version of yourself. Rather than apologizing for your past mistakes, own them and see them as valuable life lessons.

We’re all human and we all make mistakes. It’s how we learn from them that truly matters. 

6) Being yourself

This one is raw, honest, and essential. Never, ever apologize for being yourself.

Society often puts pressure on us to conform, to fit into certain molds, and to meet certain expectations. And when we don’t – or can’t – meet these expectations, we may feel the need to apologize.

But the truth is, you are unique. You are a blend of experiences, thoughts, feelings, and quirks that make you, you. And that’s something to celebrate, not apologize for.

If people can’t accept you for who you really are, that’s their loss. Don’t change yourself or hide your true self to please others. You deserve to be accepted and loved for who you truly are.

7) Chasing your dreams

This one is close to my heart. Never apologize for chasing your dreams.

I’ve had people question my choices, my career path, and my ambitions. “Why don’t you choose something more secure?” they’d ask. But I knew what I wanted, and I wasn’t going to apologize for it.

Here’s the deal: You have every right to follow your dreams, no matter how big or small they might be. Your dreams are your own, and they’re worth pursuing.

As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”

Don’t let anyone else’s doubts or judgments hold you back. Chase your dreams with all your might, and never feel the need to apologize for doing so. You’re not responsible for fulfilling other people’s expectations – you’re responsible for fulfilling your own.

8) Ending toxic relationships

This last point might be hard to swallow, but it’s a crucial one. Never apologize for ending toxic relationships.

Whether it’s a friend who never respects your boundaries, a partner who belittles you, or a family member who constantly drains your energy – you don’t have to keep these people in your life.

It’s not an easy decision to make. It can be painful, guilt-inducing, and often complicated. But it’s necessary for your overall wellbeing and mental health.

You deserve respect, kindness, and love. You deserve relationships that lift you up, not drag you down.

It’s okay to walk away from relationships that harm you more than they help you. Don’t apologize for choosing yourself and prioritizing your own happiness and peace. It’s one of the bravest things you can do.

Wrapping Up

And there you have it, eight things you should never apologize for. Remember, apologies have their place, but not at the expense of your self-worth and happiness.

I hope you found these insights helpful. If you want to delve deeper into setting healthy boundaries and breaking free from unhealthy relationship patterns, I invite you to check out my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship.

Remember, you are worthy, your feelings matter, and it’s okay to put yourself first. Don’t let anyone or anything make you feel otherwise.

Be kind to yourself, stand your ground and here’s to a life free of unnecessary apologies!