8 tiny things you don’t realize you’re doing that instantly make a bad first-impression, according to psychology

We’ve all been there. You meet someone new and within seconds, you can tell they’ve formed an opinion about you. It’s not always about what you say, sometimes it’s the little things you do that can instantly create a bad first impression.

But don’t worry. Psychology is here to help us understand these subtle behaviors that can make or break how we are perceived.

In this article, we’ll uncover the 8 tiny things you might be doing unknowingly that can instantly put you in someone’s bad books. These insights aren’t meant to make you self-conscious, but to empower you to present your best self to the world.

1) Failing to make eye contact

Eye contact is one of those little things that can say a lot about you. According to psychology, it’s a powerful tool for building rapport and establishing trust.

We’ve all been in conversations where the other person keeps looking around the room or at their phone. It’s off-putting and can instantly lead to a negative perception.

When you fail to maintain eye contact, it can send a message that you’re disinterested, distracted, or even disrespectful. It’s a tiny thing but has a huge impact on how you’re perceived.

That said, it’s important to strike a balance. Too little eye contact, and you seem disinterested; too much can come off as creepy or aggressive.

When you’re meeting someone, try to maintain a comfortable level of eye contact to show that you’re engaged and interested in what they have to say. It’s not about staring them down but about showing respect and interest.

2) Using negative language

I remember a job interview I once had, where without realizing, I kept using words like ‘can’t’, ‘don’t’, and ‘won’t’. I thought I was just being honest about my limitations, but in hindsight, it must have painted a pretty negative picture.

Negative language, even when used unintentionally, can have a big impact on how people perceive you. It can make you come across as pessimistic or lacking in confidence, and that’s not the kind of impression you want to leave.

Instead of saying “I can’t do this”, try reframing it in a more positive light like, “I’m still learning how to do this”. It’s a small change, but it can make a world of difference.

First impressions are often based on subtle cues. The language you use can be one of those cues. 

3) Fidgeting excessively

Fidgeting excessively during a conversation might not seem like a big deal, but it’s one of those tiny things that can instantly create a bad first impression. When you’re nervously tapping your foot or constantly adjusting your clothes, it can be a distraction and might make the person you’re interacting with feel uneasy.

Moreover, research has shown that excessive fidgeting can be perceived as a sign of dishonesty or nervousness. It might give the impression that you’re anxious about something or hiding the truth.

It’s natural to have some nervous energy, especially in high-stakes situations like job interviews or first dates. But channeling that energy into excessive fidgeting can inadvertently make a bad impression.

When you find yourself in a nerve-wracking situation, try to be mindful of your body language, particularly any fidgeting habits. A calm demeanor can help you make a better first impression.

4) Not smiling enough

A smile is a universal sign of friendliness and warmth. It’s such a simple act, but it can make a world of difference in how people perceive you.

If you’re meeting someone for the first time and you don’t smile, it can instantly create a cold or standoffish impression. Smiling doesn’t just show that you’re friendly, it also helps to put the other person at ease, making them feel more comfortable around you.

However, this doesn’t mean you should force a grin at all times. People can sense when a smile is genuine or forced. So, let your smile come naturally.

Creating a positive first impression doesn’t have to be complicated. Sometimes, all it takes is a warm, genuine smile.

5) Interrupting while others are speaking

There’s something deeply respectful about listening. When you truly take the time to listen to what the other person is saying, without interrupting, it shows you value their thoughts and opinions.

But sometimes, without realizing, we might cut others off mid-sentence. We might think we’re just being enthusiastic or adding to the conversation, but interrupting can be perceived as rude or arrogant.

It can instantly make a bad impression, making others feel like their views are not important or that you’re more interested in your own voice.

When you’re in a conversation, try to practice active listening. Let the other person finish their thoughts before you respond. It doesn’t just show respect, it also gives you a chance to fully understand what they’re saying. This small act of patience can make a big difference in how you’re perceived.

6) Keeping your arms crossed

I once had a conversation with a dear friend about body language. She commented that I often keep my arms crossed when talking to people. I was surprised. To me, it was just a comfortable position, but to others, it might come off as defensive or closed off.

Body language speaks volumes and crossed arms are universally viewed as a sign of defensiveness or closed-mindedness. It can instantly create a barrier between you and the person you’re interacting with, leading to a negative first impression.

Whether you’re in a professional setting or at a social gathering, try to be mindful of your body language. Keeping your posture open and relaxed can help you seem more approachable and receptive, leading to better interactions and impressions.

7) Checking your phone constantly

In this digital age, it’s hard to resist the pull of our smartphones. But constantly checking your phone during a conversation can be perceived as rude and disinterested.

When you’re engrossed in your screen, it sends a message that you’d rather be somewhere else or that the person you’re with isn’t important enough to warrant your full attention.

Even if you’re just quickly checking a text or an email, it can interrupt the flow of conversation and create a barrier between you and the other person.

When you’re in a conversation, try to resist the urge to check your phone. By giving the other person your undivided attention, you’ll not only make them feel valued but also leave a positive impression.

8) Forgetting to introduce yourself properly

The way you introduce yourself sets the tone for the rest of the conversation. If you rush through your introduction or don’t provide enough context about who you are, it can leave the other person feeling confused or indifferent.

A good introduction is not just about stating your name. It’s also about sharing a little bit about yourself and showing interest in the other person. It’s about making a connection right from the start.

Whether it’s a business meeting, a social event, or a casual encounter, make sure to introduce yourself clearly and confidently. Remember, the first impression starts with your introduction. Make it count.