8 ways to start giving more than you take in your relationships

There’s a subtle difference between taking and giving in relationships.

Sometimes we fall into the trap of taking more than we give, without even realizing it. But the key to a healthy relationship? It’s all about balance.

Giving more in your relationships isn’t about keeping score. It’s about showing up for the people you care about, and not just when you need something.

In this article, I’ll share with you 8 ways to tip the scales back towards giving. Not out of obligation, but out of genuine love and appreciation for your loved ones.

Get ready to become the kind of person who gives more than they take – and watch your relationships flourish as a result.

1) Practice active listening

In relationships, one of the best gifts you can give is your full attention.

Active listening is more than just hearing. It involves truly understanding and acknowledging the other person’s perspective. It’s not about waiting for your turn to speak, but genuinely engaging with what the other person has to say.

Next time you’re in a conversation, try this. Instead of formulating your response while the other person is still speaking, focus entirely on what they’re saying.

Respond with empathy, and ask insightful questions that show you’ve truly understood their point of view.

This simple act of giving your undivided attention can make a world of difference to your relationships. It’s a powerful way to give more – without expecting anything in return.

And remember, active listening is a skill – it takes practice. So don’t be too hard on yourself if it doesn’t come naturally at first.

Just keep trying, and watch how it transforms the way you connect with others.

2) Show gratitude regularly

Gratitude has a transformative power in relationships. A simple ‘thank you’ or ‘I appreciate you’ can mean the world to someone.

I remember a time when I was particularly stressed about work. My partner noticed this and took on some of my chores to lighten my load. Instead of just acknowledging it internally, I made sure to express my gratitude.

I sat him down, looked him in the eyes, and said, “I noticed that you did the dishes and laundry today. I just want to say thank you. It really helped me out.” The smile on his face was priceless.

Ever since then, I’ve made a conscious effort to express gratitude more often – not just for big gestures, but for the little things too.

It’s a small way to give back in a relationship – by acknowledging the efforts of the other person and making them feel appreciated. So start today, say thanks more often and watch your relationships bloom.

3) Be proactive in supporting their goals

Supporting your loved ones in their dreams and ambitions can make a huge difference to the bond you share. It shows that you’re invested in their happiness and success, beyond how it directly impacts you.

Did you know there’s actually science behind this? According to a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, couples who actively support each other’s goals tend to have happier, more satisfying relationships.

This can be as simple as asking about their day at work, offering encouragement when they’re hesitant to take a leap or even rolling up your sleeves and helping out where you can.

So step in, show interest, lend a hand – become their biggest cheerleader. It’s another fantastic way to give more in your relationships.

4) Initiate acts of kindness

Acts of kindness, no matter how small, can be incredibly powerful. They show that you’re thinking about the other person and that you care about their happiness.

These acts don’t have to be grand gestures. It could be as simple as making a cup of coffee for them in the morning, leaving them a sweet note, or giving them a hug when they seem down.

The idea is to show kindness proactively, not just reactively. Don’t wait for them to ask for something or for a special occasion to do something nice.

Initiating acts of kindness spontaneously can infuse positivity into your relationship and make your loved ones feel truly cherished. It’s all about showing love in action, one kind act at a time.

5) Be there during tough times

It’s easy to be present in someone’s life when things are going well. But being there during the tough times? That’s where the depth of your relationship truly shows.

When a loved one is going through a hard time, whether it’s a personal crisis or just a really bad day, showing up for them can mean the world.

This doesn’t mean you have to solve their problems. Sometimes, they might not need advice. What they need is someone who will sit with them in their pain, someone who will listen without judgment, someone to simply say, “I’m here for you.”

By standing by their side during their darkest hours, you’re showing them that your love and support is unconditional. It’s one of the most profound ways you can give more in a relationship – by offering your comfort, your empathy, and your unwavering presence.

6) Learn to apologize

Nobody is perfect, and we all make mistakes. But when we do, it’s crucial to own up to them and apologize sincerely.

There was a time when I made a mistake that really hurt a friend. I could have tried to justify my actions or downplay the situation, but instead, I chose to apologize sincerely. I said, “I was wrong, and I am sorry for hurting you.”

It was a humbling experience, but it helped mend the damage and showed my friend that I truly valued our relationship.

Apologizing doesn’t mean you’re weak or wrong. It’s about acknowledging the impact of your actions on others and showing them respect by admitting when you’ve made a mistake. It’s a powerful way to give more: giving respect, understanding, and the opportunity for healing.

7) Encourage their independence

In any relationship, it’s vital to encourage each other’s independence. It shows respect for the other person’s individuality and can actually strengthen your bond.

So be supportive when they want to try something new or pursue a hobby they love, even if it doesn’t involve you. Show enthusiasm for their personal growth and cheer them on every step of the way.

Recognizing and supporting their individuality isn’t about creating distance. It’s about respecting their autonomy and celebrating who they are as a unique individual. This approach can foster a deeper connection and mutual respect in your relationship, which is another beautiful way to give more.

8) Love unconditionally

At the heart of every relationship is love. And the most profound form of love is the one that’s given unconditionally.

Unconditional love means accepting and loving your loved ones exactly as they are, without expecting anything in return. It means celebrating their strengths, accepting their flaws, and supporting them through thick and thin.

It’s about giving love freely and abundantly, without conditions or expectations. This is the ultimate way to give more in your relationships – to love unconditionally.

The heart of the matter: It’s all about love

Navigating relationships can be complex, but the essence of it all comes down to one simple, universal emotion: Love.

In fact, renowned psychologist Dr. Robert Holden once said, “The real measure of your wealth is how much you’d be worth if you lost all your money.” This quote beautifully encapsulates the value of giving in relationships.

Giving more in your relationships, as we’ve explored, isn’t about grand gestures or keeping tally. It’s about showing up authentically for the people you care about; it’s about expressing gratitude, lending a supportive hand, acknowledging mistakes, and loving unconditionally.

As you navigate your own relationships, remember that every act of giving is an act of love. It’s an opportunity to deepen your connection with others and enrich your shared journey.

So as we wrap up this conversation, I invite you to reflect on how you can give more in your relationships. Not out of obligation, but out of genuine love and appreciation. Because at the end of the day, it’s these acts of love that truly enrich our lives and our relationships.