There’s a stark difference between living out your Christian values and letting selfishness take the wheel.
The key distinction? It’s all about intentions. When selfish motives drive your actions, they often disguise themselves as something more noble. But in reality, they’re far from the selflessness that defines Christian living.
Being a Christian means putting others first and living life with an open heart. But sometimes, selfishness sneaks up on us.
So, how can you tell if you’re straying from your Christian values? There are subtle signs that your actions may be more about ‘me’ than ‘we’.
Here are nine signs that you might be letting selfishness overshadow your Christian values.
1) Giving to receive
One of the fundamental values of Christianity is selfless giving.
But there’s a noticeable difference between giving for the sake of others and giving with an expectation to receive something in return.
The latter is a sneaky form of selfishness that often goes unnoticed. It’s easy to justify this type of behavior as generosity but in truth, it’s rooted in self-interest.
You see, the essence of giving, according to Christian values, is that it should be done without expectation. It’s about extending love and kindness to others simply because it’s the right thing to do.
So if you find yourself keeping a mental tally of what you’ve given and expect a return, it may be a sign that selfishness is creeping into your Christian walk.
But remember, self-awareness is the first step to realignment with your values. Recognizing this tendency allows you to correct your course and get back on track.
2) Neglecting to help
There was a time when I prided myself on being busy. I was always on the go, juggling work, family, and church commitments. But then, something happened that made me question my priorities.
A friend of mine was going through a tough time. She’d lost her job, was struggling financially and needed support. But I was so wrapped up in my own world, I didn’t make the effort to help.
It was a stark reminder that Christian living is about more than just attending church or reading the Bible. It’s about demonstrating love and compassion towards others, especially in their time of need.
If you find yourself too busy to lend a helping hand, it may be an indication of selfishness creeping in. It’s a sign that your own interests are taking precedence over the needs of others.
Remember, we are called to ‘bear one another’s burdens’ (Galatians 6:2). So let’s strive to put aside our own interests when someone else is in need.
3) Lack of empathy
Empathy is a cornerstone of Christian values. It’s the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, essentially putting ourselves in their shoes.
Did you know that humans are one of the few species that display empathy? This ability to feel with others is a part of what makes us unique.
However, when selfishness begins to overshadow our Christian values, empathy often takes a backseat. We might start overlooking the struggles of others or ignoring their feelings because we’re too focused on our own desires.
If you find it hard to empathize with others, it might be a sign that selfishness is creeping into your life. It’s a good time to take a step back, reflect, and make an effort to reconnect with those around you. After all, empathy is at the heart of Christian love and compassion.
4) Failing to forgive
Forgiveness is a pivotal aspect of Christian living. It’s a demonstration of grace, mirroring the forgiveness we’ve been given through Christ.
Yet, when selfishness seeps in, our ability to forgive often wanes. We may hold onto grudges, unwilling to let go of past hurts because we feel justified in our resentment.
But harboring unforgiveness only hurts ourselves and goes against the Christian values of grace and love. If you’re finding it hard to forgive others, it might be a red flag that selfishness is encroaching on your Christian walk.
Reflect on this and remember, as we forgive others, we experience the freedom and peace that forgiveness brings.
5) Prioritizing material possessions
We live in a world that often measures success by material wealth. But as Christians, we’re taught that our treasure is not of this world.
When selfishness begins to dominate, we may find ourselves overly focused on acquiring and holding onto material possessions. We might start valuing things over relationships, or define our worth by what we own.
If you’re spending more time worrying about your possessions than nurturing your relationships or spiritual growth, it’s a sign that selfishness might be overshadowing your Christian values.
In these moments, it’s important to remember that ‘life does not consist in an abundance of possessions’ (Luke 12:15). Our true worth is found in our faith and how we treat others, not in what we own.
6) Ignoring the needs of others
One of the most beautiful aspects of Christian living is the call to serve others. It’s a call to step outside of our own needs and desires and to extend a helping hand to those around us.
However, when selfishness takes hold, we can become blind to the needs of others. Our focus may narrow, centered solely on our own wants and desires.
It’s heartbreaking to think that while we’re busy chasing after our own ambitions, someone right next to us could be silently struggling.
If you’re finding it hard to see beyond your own needs, it might be a sign that selfishness is taking over. Take a moment to look around. Seek out opportunities to serve and love those in your community. This is at the heart of what it means to live out Christian values.
7) Not making time for prayer
Prayer is a vital part of my Christian walk. It’s a time for reflection, connection, and a moment to lay down my worries and thankfulness before God.
But there was a period when my prayer life took a hit. I was swamped with work, and I justified skipping my prayer time with the excuse of being too busy.
However, the truth was, I had allowed my personal ambitions to take precedence over my relationship with God.
If you’re finding it hard to set aside time for prayer, it could be a sign that selfishness is creeping into your Christian values. Remember, prayer isn’t just about asking for things but also about cultivating a relationship with God. It’s about putting Him first, above our own desires and ambitions.
8) Judging others harshly
Christians are called to exercise compassion and understanding towards others, recognizing that we all fall short and are in need of grace.
However, when selfishness takes hold, we can slip into a pattern of harsh judgement. We might start seeing others’ flaws more than their strengths or judge them based on their mistakes.
This type of judgement is often a reflection of our own insecurities and a way to elevate ourselves. But remember, ‘for in the same way you judge others, you will be judged’ (Matthew 7:2).
If you find yourself judging others harshly, it could be a sign that selfishness is overshadowing your Christian values. Practice compassion and understanding, remembering that we are all made perfect in our imperfections through Christ.
9) Neglecting your spiritual growth
The journey of a Christian is one of continuous spiritual growth. It’s about consistently seeking God, deepening your understanding of His word, and striving to live a life that reflects His love and grace.
However, when selfishness creeps in, our spiritual growth can become stagnant. We might start prioritizing our own desires over our pursuit of God, leaving little room for spiritual development.
If you’re neglecting your spiritual growth, it’s a clear sign that selfishness is overshadowing your Christian values. Remember, our relationship with God should be the cornerstone of our lives, shaping our actions, decisions, and interactions with others. Keep God at the center, prioritizing your spiritual growth above all else.
Final thoughts: A journey of self-awareness
Christian living is a journey of continual growth and self-awareness. It’s about learning, reflecting, and striving to embody the love, grace, and selflessness taught by Jesus Christ.
However, we’re all human. We falter, we stumble, and at times, selfishness can creep into our lives. But remember, recognition is the first step towards transformation.
In the words of renowned Christian author C.S. Lewis, “True humility is not thinking less of yourself; it’s thinking of yourself less.” This captures the essence of what it means to live out Christian values while keeping selfishness at bay.
Reflect on these signs and ask yourself if you’re letting selfishness overshadow your Christian values. Remember, the goal isn’t perfection but a genuine striving towards becoming more Christ-like in our daily lives.
It’s a journey filled with grace and second chances. And it’s never too late to realign ourselves with the heart of our faith.
