9 things genuinely confident people never seek from others, according to psychology

There’s a clear distinction between confidence and arrogance.

Confidence is knowing your worth and not seeking validation, while arrogance is a facade to mask insecurities.

As someone who is genuinely confident, you recognize your value and don’t need others to confirm it for you. And guess what? Psychologists agree.

In this article, we’re going to dive into the 9 things that confident people never seek from others. Trust me, it’s a game-changer.

1) Validation from others

Ever noticed how some people are constantly seeking approval or fishing for compliments?

That’s a clear sign of insecurity, not confidence.

Genuinely confident people know their value and they don’t need others to validate it. This isn’t just my opinion—it’s backed by numerous psychological studies.

Confident people don’t need someone else’s pat on the back to feel good about themselves or their choices. They know their worth and they don’t need constant reassurance from others.

It’s a trait that separates the truly confident from those who are merely pretending. So, if you’re a confident person, you’ll never feel the need to seek validation from others.

2) Acceptance into every group

A lesson I learned early on in life is that you can’t please everyone, and not everyone will like you—and that’s okay.

You see, when I was in high school, I was desperate to fit into every social group—the jocks, the nerds, the musicians—you name it. I would alter my personality and interests to blend in, but it was exhausting and unfulfilling.

As I matured, I realized my genuine friends were those who accepted me for who I am, not who I was pretending to be. This realization gave me a newfound confidence.

Psychologists confirm this phenomenon. Genuinely confident people don’t seek acceptance from everyone or feel the need to fit into every group. They are comfortable with who they are and don’t pretend to be someone they’re not just to be accepted.

So you see, confident people won’t compromise their authenticity for acceptance—they value being true to themselves above all else.

3) To be the center of attention

Contrary to popular belief, genuinely confident people don’t necessarily crave the spotlight. While it’s true that they are comfortable in front of a crowd, they don’t need to be the center of attention to feel important or valued.

In fact, a study found that overconfident individuals often overestimate their popularity and influence within a group. On the other hand, those with genuine confidence don’t feel the need to dominate every conversation or constantly steer the attention back to themselves.

So, confidently standing in your truth doesn’t necessarily mean needing to stand in the spotlight.

4) Constant praise

We all like to hear a compliment now and then, but genuinely confident people don’t rely on constant praise to maintain their self-esteem. They understand that their worth is not determined by how often they’re complimented or recognized by others.

This is backed by psychology. According to research, those who need a steady stream of compliments often have an external locus of control – meaning they believe their success or failure is largely influenced by external factors they can’t control.

In contrast, confidently secure individuals have an internal locus of control – they believe they have the power to influence their own outcomes and don’t need others’ praise to reassure them of their worth.

5) Unnecessary competition

People with genuine confidence do not see life as a constant competition where they must prove themselves superior to others. They understand that everyone has their own unique strengths and weaknesses, and that comparing oneself to others is both unproductive and unhealthy.

Psychologists have found that people who constantly compare themselves to others often struggle with low self-esteem and feelings of inadequacy.

In contrast, confident people are comfortable in their own skin. They focus on their own growth and progress, not how they stack up against others.

6) Perfection in everything

In truth, perfection is a myth, an unattainable standard that can lead to endless frustration and disappointment.

Those with genuine confidence understand this. They know that making mistakes and experiencing failures are a part of the human journey. It’s how we learn, grow and become better versions of ourselves.

Psychologists have found that the pursuit of perfection can often lead to anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. However, confident individuals embrace their imperfections and view them as opportunities for growth rather than signs of inadequacy.

They don’t seek perfection in everything—they seek progress. And that, in itself, is a beautiful thing.

7) Fear of being alone

I remember a time when silence was my enemy and solitude felt like a punishment. I thought being alone meant being lonely, so I tried to surround myself with people at all times.

Over time, however, I’ve come to understand that spending time alone is not a punishment but a gift. It’s an opportunity for self-reflection and personal growth—a time to connect deeply with myself.

This aligns with what psychologists say about confident individuals. They don’t fear being alone because they enjoy their own company and see solitude as a chance to recharge and grow.

8) Control over others

True confidence is about self-assurance and inner strength, not exerting power or control over others. Confident people respect the autonomy and individuality of others. They don’t seek to dominate or manipulate to assert themselves.

Psychologists affirm this, stating that those who feel the need to control others often carry deep-seated insecurities and fears. They use control as a defense mechanism to hide their vulnerabilities.

On the other hand, genuinely confident people are secure in their abilities and don’t feel threatened by others’ independence or success.

9) External definition of success

The most empowering thing about genuine confidence is that it allows you to define success on your own terms. You don’t seek an external definition of success because you understand that true success is personal and subjective.

Psychologists support this notion, stating that those who base their success on external standards—wealth, status, appearances—often find themselves unfulfilled even when they achieve these goals.

In contrast, genuinely confident people define success in their own terms, based on their values, passions, and personal growth.

So, if you’re genuinely confident, you won’t seek an external definition of success—you’ll craft your own.