9 things in life that don’t actually matter in the long run, according to psychology

In the grand scheme of things, many aspects of life we stress over don’t actually matter.

Psychology tells us we often focus on the wrong things, giving unnecessary weight and energy to those that won’t impact our long-term happiness.

In this article, we’ll explore nine things that, according to psychology, don’t matter in the long run. By shedding light on these, I hope to help you let go of needless worries and focus on what truly counts.

Let’s get started. 

1) Keeping up with the Joneses

The idea of keeping up with the Joneses, or comparing yourself to others, is deeply ingrained in our society. We often find ourselves measuring our lives against those of our peers, neighbors, or even celebrities.

Psychology tells us that this kind of social comparison doesn’t hold much weight in the long run. It’s a trap that can lead to unnecessary stress and dissatisfaction.

What matters more for your long-term happiness is focusing on your own journey, not how it compares to someone else’s. Remember, everyone has their own path, and it’s unlikely that someone else’s path will fit you perfectly.

When you catch yourself making comparisons, take a step back and remind yourself that your life is unique and incomparable. This is one of those things in life that doesn’t actually matter in the long run.

2) Chasing after perfection

I’ve always been a bit of a perfectionist. I’d spend countless hours making sure every project, every task was just right. It felt like if it wasn’t perfect, it wasn’t good enough.

But psychology tells us that this relentless pursuit of perfection doesn’t pay off in the long run. It often leads to stress, burnout, and can even hinder our progress rather than enhance it.

I’ve learned over time that it’s okay to make mistakes. It’s okay to not have everything figured out. What matters more in the long run is striving for progress, not perfection.

Take it from me – let go of perfectionism. It’s one of those things that doesn’t actually matter in the long run. Instead, focus on learning, growing, and moving forward, even if it’s not perfect.

3) Material possessions

In today’s consumer-driven society, it’s easy to get caught up in accumulating more and more stuff. The latest gadgets, the fanciest cars, the most stylish clothes – they can all seem very important in the moment.

However, a study published in the Journal of Positive Psychology found that life satisfaction is not significantly affected by material goods. Instead, experiences and personal relationships have a much greater impact on long-term happiness.

Before you make that next big purchase, take a moment to consider whether it’s truly going to contribute to your happiness in the long run. Often, you’ll find that material possessions are one of those things in life that don’t actually matter as much as we think they do.

4) Holding onto grudges

It’s a natural human tendency to hold onto past hurts and disappointments. We replay the scenarios in our heads, letting the negativity fester and grow.

However, psychology tells us that holding onto grudges doesn’t serve us well in the long run. It can lead to chronic stress, impair our mental health, and even affect our physical well-being.

Instead, working towards forgiveness and letting go of past hurts can lead to increased happiness and well-being. It’s not about forgetting or condoning what happened, but about freeing yourself from the burden of resentment.

Recognize that holding grudges is one of those things in life that doesn’t actually matter in the long run. Letting go can bring you more peace, happiness, and ultimately, a better quality of life.

5) Constant busyness

We live in a culture that often equates busyness with productivity, and productivity with self-worth. It’s easy to fall into the trap of feeling like we constantly need to be doing something.

But psychology tells us that this constant sense of busyness doesn’t actually contribute to our long-term happiness or success. In fact, it can lead to burnout, stress, and decreased productivity.

What matters more in the long run is finding balance. It’s important to make time for rest, relaxation, and activities that bring you joy.

Resist the urge to fill every hour of every day with tasks and commitments. Constant busyness is one of those things in life that don’t actually matter in the long run. It’s okay – and beneficial – to take a step back and slow down sometimes.

6) Seeking constant approval

We all like to be liked. It’s a natural human desire to seek approval and validation from those around us. But when we place too much emphasis on others’ opinions, we can lose sight of our own worth and identity.

Psychology tells us that constantly seeking approval from others doesn’t lead to long-term happiness or self-esteem. Instead, it can create a dependence on external validation and prevent us from cultivating self-love and acceptance.

What truly matters in the long run is how you feel about yourself. It’s about recognizing your worth independent of others’ opinions and embracing who you are, flaws and all.

Constantly seeking approval is one of those things in life that don’t actually matter in the long run. Your worth is not determined by the views of others, but by your own self-perception. Make sure you’re living a life true to yourself, not one that is merely seeking the approval of others.

7) Fear of failure

For a long time, I was held back by a fear of failure. The idea of not succeeding, of not meeting my own or others’ expectations, was paralyzing.

But time and experience have taught me that this fear doesn’t serve any purpose in the long run. Failure is not a reflection of one’s worth, but rather an opportunity for growth and learning.

Psychology supports this, suggesting that it’s not the absence of failure but our response to it that truly matters. Embracing failure as a part of the journey can lead to resilience, innovation, and ultimately, success.

If you’re grappling with a fear of failure, know that it’s one of those things in life that doesn’t actually matter in the long run. It’s okay to fail. What’s more important is that you pick yourself up, learn from the experience, and keep moving forward.

8) Trying to control everything

It’s common to want control over every aspect of our lives. It brings a sense of security and predictability. However, life is often unpredictable, and things don’t always go as planned.

Psychology suggests that this need for control can lead to increased stress and anxiety. We can’t control everything, and the constant attempt to do so can become exhausting.

What matters more in the long run is our ability to adapt to changes and challenges. It’s about developing resilience and learning to let go of the things we can’t control.

Trying to control everything is one of those things in life that don’t actually matter in the long run. Instead, focus on your reactions and adaptability – these are the things that truly shape your life.

9) Living in the past or future

A common trap many of us fall into is dwelling on the past or constantly worrying about the future. This can prevent us from truly living in and enjoying the present moment.

Psychology tells us that this focus on the past or future doesn’t benefit our long-term happiness or well-being. Instead, mindfulness and presence are key to experiencing true joy and satisfaction.

Let go of past regrets and future anxieties. They’re one of those things in life that don’t actually matter in the long run. Embrace the present, for it’s the only moment we truly have.

The essence: It’s about perspective

The complexity of human emotions and experiences is deeply influenced by our perceptions and attitudes.

One of the key insights from psychology is the concept of cognitive reframing, the ability to change our perspective towards a situation or experience.

This ability might be instrumental when it comes to disregarding the things that don’t actually matter in the long run. By altering our perspective, we can focus on what truly contributes to our long-term happiness and well-being.

Whether it’s letting go of grudges, ceasing to seek constant approval, or embracing the present, our perspective plays a pivotal role.

Remember, life is short and unpredictable. It’s up to us to decide what deserves our energy and attention. So take a pause, reflect on these nine things and ask yourself: What truly matters to you in the long run?