9 ways Christian couples should approach intimacy

Intimacy is a fundamental pillar in any relationship, particularly within the bond of Christian marriage.

Still, Christian couples often grapple with the concept of intimacy. Why?

Because it’s not just about physical connection — it’s about emotional, spiritual, and even sacrificial closeness that reflects Christ’s love for His church.

Balancing intimacy with faith can feel overwhelming, especially when society’s messages about love and relationships often clash with biblical values.

But here’s the good news:

The Bible offers clear guidance to help couples navigate intimacy in a way that strengthens their bond and honors God.

In this article, we’ll explore 9 ways Christian couples can approach intimacy. As a result, you can build a marriage that thrives on trust, respect, and a Christ-centered connection.

1. Foster open communication

Communication is the cornerstone of any relationship, more so in a marriage. Yet, it’s often overlooked or taken for granted.

Christian couples looking to enhance intimacy must invest time and effort in cultivating open and honest communication channels.

Expressing thoughts, aspirations, and even fears can profoundly deepen the connection between partners.

In Ephesians 4:25, the Bible instructs believers to “speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body.” This verse emphasizes the importance of truthfulness in communication.

It isn’t about merely talking — it’s about sharing your heart with your spouse. What’s more, it’s about listening with empathy and responding with kindness.

Open communication fosters trust, eliminates misunderstandings and strengthens bonds. It enables couples to navigate life’s challenges together, reinforcing their shared commitment and love for each other.

2. Understand the concept of ‘Agape Love’

Now, let’s delve into a term you might not have heard before: Agape Love.

In simple terms, Agape Love is a form of love that is selfless and unconditional. It’s the highest form of love that a person can experience.

And guess what?

It’s a central theme in Christianity.

This kind of love isn’t just about strong emotional feelings for another person. Instead, it’s about choosing to love them selflessly, no matter what.

For Christian couples aiming to nurture intimacy, understanding and applying this concept can be transformative.

Imagine consistently choosing to put your partner’s needs above your own, without expecting anything in return. Sounds challenging, right?

But that’s the beauty of Agape Love. It fosters a deep level of intimacy that isn’t dependent on personal desires or circumstances.

It allows you to connect with your partner on a deeper level, fostering an intimacy that goes beyond physical connection.

3. Balance selflessness with self-care

It’s easy to misunderstand the concept of Agape Love. Some might think it’s about completely neglecting oneself for the sake of the partner. But that’s not quite accurate.

Christian couples must understand that practicing self-care is equally important in nurturing a healthy and intimate relationship.

Think about it.

How can you pour from an empty cup?

Taking care of your physical, emotional, and spiritual health isn’t selfish; it’s necessary.

Only when you are at your best can you truly give your best to your partner?

This balance between selflessness and self-care can seem like a paradox, but it’s crucial for cultivating a deeper level of intimacy.

So, while Agape Love calls for selflessness, never forget to take care of yourself too. After all, a healthier you leads to a healthier relationship.

4. Prioritize spiritual growth together

Ever wondered how to strengthen your bond as a Christian couple?

Prayer can be your answer.

Praying together isn’t just about asking for blessings or guidance. It’s about sharing your faith, your hopes, and your fears openly with each other in the presence of God.

This vulnerable sharing can create a safe space for deeper intimacy. It allows you to understand each other better and grow together in your faith.

In Deuteronomy 6:5-7, God instructs His people to love Him with all their heart and soul and to teach His commands diligently to their children.

This directive isn’t exclusive to parents; it applies to spouses as well.

Whether it’s a simple thanksgiving prayer at the end of the day or a heartfelt plea in times of trouble, praying together can be a powerful way to foster spiritual intimacy.

4. Embrace vulnerability

In an era where strength and independence are often glorified, vulnerability may seem counterintuitive.

But here’s the thing, expressing vulnerability is essential in deepening intimacy in Christian relationships.

Being vulnerable means opening up about your flaws, fears, and failures. It’s about letting your guard down and allowing your partner to see the real you, the imperfect you.

In 2 Corinthians 12:9, Apostle Paul shares a profound truth that God’s power is made perfect in our weakness. This biblical principle applies to marital intimacy as well.

When we let down our walls and share our struggles and insecurities with our spouse, we’re not just fostering trust, we’re also creating opportunities for our partners to show their love and support.

Let’s not view vulnerability as a sign of weakness but as a step towards a more genuine and intimate relationship.

After all, it’s through our authenticity that we truly connect with each other.

5. Practice forgiveness

How often do we let small disagreements or misunderstandings create a wedge in our relationships?

Christian couples striving for intimacy should understand the value of forgiveness. Holding onto grudges or resentment can drain emotional energy and create barriers to intimacy.

In Colossians 3:13, we read:

“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

This verse is a beautiful reminder of God’s forgiveness and its role in our relationships.

Forgiveness allows healing, renews trust, and fosters empathy – all crucial elements of an intimate relationship. It’s not about forgetting the wrongs but choosing love over anger.

Insight: Psychologists suggest that couples who practice forgiveness have more successful and fulfilling relationships.

6. Invest quality time together

Amid the hustle and bustle of life, couples often forget the importance of spending quality time together. This shared time is a crucial component in fostering intimacy.

Spending quality time doesn’t necessarily mean extravagant date nights or expensive trips. It’s about creating moments that allow you to connect on a deeper level.

It can be as simple as:

• Praying together
• Sharing a meal
• Walking in the park
• Discussing a book of the Bible

These shared experiences create memories, foster understanding, and build a stronger bond.

Ensure to invest regular, uninterrupted time with each other, putting aside distractions and focusing solely on your partner.

This commitment to quality time can significantly enhance the level of intimacy in your Christian relationship.

7. Show appreciation and affirmation

We all crave affirmation and appreciation, don’t we?

In a Christian relationship, expressing gratitude and affirmation is key to deepening the bond of intimacy. It’s about recognizing your partner’s efforts, appreciating their qualities, and affirming their worth.

In 1 Thessalonians 5:11, Apostle Paul encourages believers to “encourage one another and build each other up.” Let’s apply this principle in our relationships.

A simple “thank you” for a mundane task, a compliment on a job well done, or an affirmation of your partner’s character can go a long way in boosting their self-esteem and enhancing your intimacy.

Showing appreciation is not just about acknowledging big achievements; it’s also about valuing the little things. It’s these small acts of kindness that often make the biggest difference in a relationship.

8. Maintain physical affection

Have you ever noticed how a simple touch can speak volumes?

Physical affection plays a significant role in building and maintaining intimacy in a Christian relationship. It’s not just about sexual intimacy, but also about non-sexual touches that convey love and affection.

A hug after a long day, holding hands during a walk, a reassuring touch on the shoulder – these small gestures can make your partner feel loved and cherished.

In Song of Solomon, a biblical book that celebrates marital love, we find numerous instances of physical affection between the lovers.

It beautifully illustrates how physical touch can enhance the bond of intimacy.

Don’t underestimate the power of physical affection. Let’s make it a habit to express our love not just in words but also through our actions.

9. Keep God at the center

Finally, and most importantly, keep God at the center of your relationship.

For Christian couples, this is the heart of everything. It’s about realizing that your relationship isn’t just between the two of you; it involves God as well.

When God is at the center of your relationship, you see each other through His lens of love and grace. You strive to love each other as He loves you – unconditionally and selflessly.

This divine perspective can guide you in approaching intimacy in a way that honors not just each other, but God as well.

Remember, intimacy isn’t just about two people coming together; it’s about two people growing together in their love for each other and for God.

And when you approach intimacy with this mindset, it becomes a beautiful journey of spiritual growth and deep connection.

Where do we go from here?

As we reach the end of this journey, it’s time to reflect on where we go from here.

How can you apply these guidelines in your relationship? How can they help you navigate the complex terrain of intimacy as a Christian couple?

Here are some actionable steps to get you started:

• Have an open conversation with your partner about what you’ve learned here.
• Pray together, asking God for guidance and wisdom in applying these principles.
• Make a commitment to practice one new guideline each week.

Intimacy is a journey, not a destination. It’s about growing together, learning from each other, and continuously striving to honor God in your relationship.

In the end, building an intimate relationship as a Christian couple is about more than just physical closeness. It’s forging a deep connection that reflects the love of God.