8 behaviors that almost always lead to divorce (according to a relationship expert)

Marriage is a journey full of highs and lows, but what happens when the lows start to outweigh the highs?

Relationships take work, but sometimes, certain behaviors can slowly chip away at the foundation, leading to a breakdown that feels inevitable.

As a relationship expert, I’ve seen how seemingly small actions, when repeated over time, can lead to the unraveling of even the strongest bonds.

The truth is, we often overlook the signs—those subtle behaviors that might seem harmless in the moment, but ultimately create distance, resentment, and dissatisfaction.

In this article, we’re diving into 8 behaviors that almost always lead to divorce.

If you recognize any of these in your relationship, it’s time to reflect, communicate, and make a change before it’s too late.

1) Lack of communication

Communication is the lifeblood of any relationship.

When communication breaks down, misunderstandings grow.

Assumptions take the place of dialogue, and resentment builds up like a dam.

As a relationship expert, I can’t stress enough the importance of open, honest, and frequent communication.

When couples stop sharing their thoughts, feelings, and concerns with each other, they create a gap.

This gap can widen with time, pushing the couple further apart until they find themselves on the brink of divorce.

So if you find that you and your partner aren’t talking as much or as effectively as you used to, it’s time to address this issue head-on.

It’s not about who’s right or wrong. It’s about understanding one another and finding common ground.

2) Infidelity

There’s an old saying that goes, “The chains of habit are too weak to be felt until they are too strong to be broken”, and I can’t help but think of it when talking about infidelity.

As a relationship expert, I’ve seen how trust – once broken – is incredibly difficult to repair. Infidelity not only shatters the trust in a relationship, it also introduces a host of other issues like guilt, insecurity, and resentment.

In my years of experience, I’ve found that the pain of infidelity often leads couples down the path of divorce.

It’s not impossible to rebuild trust after an affair, but it takes a tremendous amount of patience, honesty, and commitment.

3) Codependency

It’s normal to rely on your partner for love and support, but when that reliance turns into codependency, it can lead to serious relationship problems.

In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I discuss how codependency can make individuals lose their sense of self.

They become so wrapped up in their partner’s needs and wants that they forget to take care of themselves.

When one partner’s happiness is entirely dependent on the other’s, it puts a lot of strain on the relationship.

It can lead to resentment and emotional exhaustion, which in turn, can lead to divorce.

If you think your relationship might be suffering from codependency, I strongly recommend checking out my book.

It’s filled with practical advice and strategies to help you rediscover your individuality and strengthen your relationship at the same time.

4) Losing the ‘me’ in ‘we’

This may seem counterintuitive, but hear me out.

While it’s important to function as a team in a relationship, it’s equally important to maintain your individuality.

It’s easy to get lost in the ‘we’ and forget about the ‘me’.

You start giving up your hobbies, interests, and friends to accommodate your partner. And while compromise is necessary in a relationship, losing yourself is not.

When you lose your sense of self in a relationship, you may start to feel unfulfilled and resentful.

This can lead to emotional distance and may even lead to divorce.

While you’re part of a couple, you’re also an individual. It’s okay to have separate interests and spend time apart.

In fact, time apart is often key to a healthy relationship.

5) Unresolved conflicts

Here’s a personal truth I’ve learned in my years as a relationship expert: couples fight.

It’s normal, and it can even be healthy.

But what separates the lasting relationships from the ones that end in divorce is how couples handle these conflicts.

Unresolved conflicts can be like a slow poison.

They simmer under the surface, building resentment and creating emotional distance.

With time, they can become so big that they overshadow all the good in the relationship.

In the early years of my marriage, I learned that it’s not about winning an argument, but about finding a resolution that respects both partners’ feelings.

So, if you find yourselves having the same arguments again and again, take a step back.

Try to understand each other’s perspectives and work towards a resolution. 

6) Emotional or physical abuse

This is a tough one to talk about, but it’s important.

Emotional or physical abuse is a clear sign that a relationship is not just unhealthy, but dangerous.

It’s not about love anymore, it’s about power and control.

No one deserves to be treated this way, and the impact is profound.

It’s not just damaging to the victim; it destroys the foundation of the relationship and often leads to deep emotional scars that last long after the relationship ends.

Abuse will almost always lead to the breakdown of the relationship, and in most cases, it results in divorce.

If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, please seek help immediately.

There are countless resources available, including local shelters, hotlines, and support groups, to help navigate these challenging and dangerous situations.

7) Lack of appreciation

I’ve always been a firm believer in the power of gratitude.

In my personal life and in my practice as a relationship expert, I’ve seen how a simple ‘thank you’ can go a long way.

When partners start taking each other for granted, it creates an environment of negativity and resentment.

Small efforts go unnoticed and big ones are expected.

This lack of appreciation can lead to emotional distance, making one or both partners feel unimportant or unseen.

Eventually, this growing disconnect can erode the bond between partners, leaving them feeling more like roommates than lovers.

If not addressed, it can often become a tipping point that contributes to divorce.

8) Growing apart

It’s a painful truth, but sometimes, people just grow apart.

You might find that the things you once had in common are no longer there, or that your goals and dreams for the future don’t align anymore.

This doesn’t mean that anyone is to blame.

People change and grow, and sometimes, they do so in different directions.

It’s a heartbreaking reality that can lead to divorce.

It’s important to communicate and check in with each other regularly about your desires and dreams for the future.

But if despite your best efforts, you find yourselves drifting apart, it might be time to have a hard, but honest conversation about what that means for your relationship.

Conclusion

Every relationship has its ups and downs, but certain behaviors can quietly erode the foundation of even the strongest partnerships.

By recognizing these 8 behaviors and addressing them early, you can begin to heal and strengthen your relationship.

The key is communication, self-awareness, and a willingness to change.

For more guidance, I recommend my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship. It’s a comprehensive guide filled with practical advice to help you navigate through relationship challenges.