8 biblical teachings on dealing with manipulative people

In this article, we will dive into 8 biblical teachings that can help us handle manipulative people effectively.

These teachings not only offer advice, but also the wisdom to understand the difference between persuasion and manipulation.

1) Recognize manipulation

The first step in dealing with manipulative people is recognizing manipulation when it occurs.

This is easier said than done as manipulation can be subtle and insidious, making it difficult to identify.

But the Bible gives us a clear example in the story of Delilah and Samson (Judges 16). Delilah manipulated Samson into revealing the secret of his strength, using her relationship with him to exploit his trust.

This story serves as a reminder for us to stay vigilant and discerning in our interactions. It underscores the need to recognize manipulation, even when it comes from those closest to us.

Recognizing manipulation may be difficult, but with prayer and wisdom, it is possible. The Bible encourages us to pray for discernment (James 1:5), which can help us identify and address manipulation when we encounter it.

2) Setting boundaries

Let me tell you about a time when I learned the importance of setting boundaries.

A friend of mine had a knack for making me feel guilty whenever I couldn’t lend her a hand. She would use phrases like “after all I’ve done for you” or “I thought we were friends.”

It was classic manipulation, and it left me feeling drained and used.

Then one day, I came across the biblical verse, Matthew 5:37: “Let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ Anything more comes from the evil one.”

This verse reminded me that it’s okay to say ‘no’ when I need to. It taught me that setting boundaries is not only healthy but biblical.

So, I began to set limits. I started saying ‘no’ when I couldn’t help or didn’t want to. Yes, my friend was upset at first, but with time she understood and respected my boundaries.

Setting boundaries can be tough, but it’s essential in dealing with manipulative people. It’s about being clear about what you are willing to do or accept, and standing firm on those decisions. 

3) Seeking counsel

In the book of Proverbs, there’s a recurring theme of the importance of seeking wise counsel. Proverbs 11:14 says, “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.”

When dealing with manipulative individuals, it can be extremely beneficial to seek advice from others.

Manipulators often isolate their victims, making them feel as though they are the only ones who can understand or help them.

But reaching out to trusted friends, family members, or spiritual leaders can provide a fresh perspective. They can help identify manipulation that might be hard to spot from within the situation.

Interestingly, research has backed up the biblical wisdom on this point.

Studies have shown that seeking advice from others helps people make better decisions and feel more confident in their choices. It’s a practice that not only aligns with biblical teachings but also with modern psychological understanding.

So remember, when dealing with manipulative people, don’t hesitate to seek counsel. It’s a biblical principle supported by modern science.

4) Forgiveness and release

It’s no secret that being manipulated can leave us feeling hurt and betrayed. Holding onto these negative feelings, however, can do more harm than good.

That’s where the biblical teaching of forgiveness comes in.

In the book of Matthew (18:21-22), Peter asks Jesus how many times he should forgive someone who sins against him.

Jesus replies, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.” This isn’t a literal count but a metaphor for limitless forgiveness.

This doesn’t mean allowing the manipulator to continue their behavior. It means releasing the resentment and hurt they’ve caused, freeing ourselves from the emotional burden.

Forgiving someone who has manipulated us can be incredibly challenging. But remember, forgiveness is more about our healing than it is about the person who wronged us. It’s about letting go and moving forward with a heart unburdened by past hurts.

5) Love, but with wisdom

One of the greatest teachings in the Bible is to love one another. But loving someone doesn’t mean allowing them to manipulate or exploit us.

In the book of Matthew (10:16), Jesus tells his disciples, “I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.”

This verse teaches us the importance of balancing love with wisdom.

We are called to be kind and compassionate, but also discerning and wise.

When dealing with manipulative individuals, we must strive to maintain this balance. We can show them love and grace, but we also need to protect ourselves from harmful behavior.

Loving a manipulative person doesn’t mean tolerating their manipulation. It means treating them with kindness while maintaining our own mental and emotional health. It’s a delicate balance but one that’s essential for preserving our wellbeing and peace of mind.

6) Trusting in God’s justice

There was a time when I was deeply hurt by someone I trusted. The manipulation was so severe that it felt like a betrayal.

It was a dark period, and I struggled with feelings of anger and resentment.

One day, while reading the Bible, I came across Romans 12:19: “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.”

The verse struck me with its profound message of letting go and trusting in divine justice. I realized that my desire for revenge was only poisoning my heart and mind.

So, I decided to let go.

I chose to trust in God’s justice rather than seeking my own. It wasn’t easy, but it brought me peace.

When dealing with manipulative people, we may be tempted to retaliate or seek revenge. But the Bible teaches us to trust in God’s justice instead. 

7) Practicing patience

Dealing with manipulative people can be a test of patience. It’s easy to lose our cool and react impulsively.

But the Bible teaches us the value of patience in such situations.

The book of Proverbs (14:29) says, “Whoever is patient has great understanding, but one who is quick-tempered displays folly.”

Patience allows us to respond rather than react. It gives us the time to discern the right course of action and prevents us from making rash decisions that we might later regret.

Practicing patience involves taking a moment to breathe, reflect, and seek God’s guidance before responding. It’s about maintaining a calm and composed spirit even in challenging situations. 

That’s why, in the face of manipulation, patience can be our greatest ally.

8) Relying on God’s strength

In dealing with manipulative people, it’s crucial to remember that we are not alone. The Bible assures us that God is with us, providing strength and guidance in our most challenging times.

In Isaiah (41:10), we find a comforting promise: “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

Relying on God’s strength doesn’t mean becoming passive or avoiding responsibility. It means recognizing our limitations and trusting in a higher power to guide and support us.

When you feel overwhelmed by a manipulative person or situation, remember this promise. Lean on God’s strength, and let His love and wisdom guide your actions. 

Final reflection: The power of grace

The Bible offers profound guidance on how to deal with manipulative people, emphasizing the importance of wisdom, boundaries, and love.

By applying these teachings, you can protect yourself from harm while also striving to respond with compassion and integrity.

When faced with manipulation, let the grace that God has shown you guide your actions. And in doing so, you might just find a way to turn a difficult situation into an opportunity for growth and transformation.