Christians who are happy on the outside but feeling sad on the inside usually display these 8 behaviors

When you see someone smiling in church, you probably think, “Wow, they’re so joyful!” Or when they step up to help, you might assume, “They must be so fulfilled.” 

But what if I told you that’s not always the case? 

Sometimes, those bright smiles and willing hands mask an inner sadness—a heaviness that’s hard to see. 

Christians who feel this way often show it in subtle, surprising ways. Ready to dig into what these behaviors are? 

Let’s dive in.

1) Overcompensating with happiness

Isn’t it peculiar how some people are always brimming with positivity, rain or shine?

Usually, we admire such individuals, crediting their faith for their unwavering joy. But sometimes, this constant happiness acts as a mask, hiding the sadness lurking beneath.

On the outside, they’re the epitome of joy and contentment.

But if you pay close attention, you might notice subtle signs: a fleeting look of sadness when they think no one’s watching, or a sigh escaping amidst laughter.

These tiny cracks in their happy facade are often the only indicators of their internal turmoil.

Keep in mind, just because someone seems perpetually cheerful doesn’t mean they’re not carrying their own cross of sadness inside. 

2) Helping others excessively

Have you ever noticed someone who’s always ready to lend a helping hand? That was me.

I’ve always enjoyed helping others, but there was a time when it became more than just goodwill. It felt like a necessity, a way to distract myself from the sadness I was feeling inside.

I’d be the first to volunteer for church activities, bible study groups, community service – you name it. Any opportunity to shift my focus from my internal struggles onto something else, I’d seize it.

Yet, amidst my busyness, I often felt an overwhelming sense of emptiness. The more I helped others, the more it highlighted my own internal discontent.

The irony? The person who was always there for everyone else was the one who needed help the most.

Sometimes, those who are always ready to assist may be the ones struggling internally. They could be using service as a way to escape their own sadness. 

3) Avoiding deep emotional discussions

Did you know that when people are dealing with internal sadness, they tend to steer away from deep emotional conversations?

They might be very social, engaging in light-hearted banter, sharing jokes and relishing in the camaraderie of their church community.

However, when conversations start to take a deeper, more emotional turn, they tend to pull back.

Why? Because such discussions could potentially open up a door to their concealed sadness, a door they would rather keep firmly shut.

It’s like they’ve built a fortress around their feelings, allowing only positivity to seep through the cracks. This way, they maintain their outward image of happiness while keeping their internal sadness hidden away.

This behavior isn’t always apparent but once you know what to look for, it becomes easier to spot.

4) Rarely taking time for themselves

We all know that self-care is crucial for our mental well-being. However, Christians who are grappling with internal sadness often overlook this vital aspect.

They seem to be always on the go, dedicating their time to church, family, work, and community. They’re constantly engaged in activities, leaving little to no time for themselves.

This constant busyness acts as a protective shield, preventing them from confronting their hidden sadness. By keeping themselves occupied, they manage to distract from the emotional turmoil brewing inside.

However, this lack of self-care can lead to eventual burnout, causing their internal sadness to surface unexpectedly.

It’s a delicate balancing act, maintaining the illusion of happiness while neglecting one’s emotional well-being.

5) Struggling with prayer

Signs You Are Too Hard on Yourself

As a Christian, I’ve always found solace in prayer. It’s been my sanctuary, my refuge in times of distress. But during my seasons of internal sadness, even this sanctuary seemed out of reach.

I found myself struggling with prayer, feeling as if my words were bouncing off the walls, unheard. My mind was clouded with sadness, making it hard to connect with God in the way I used to.

Externally, I maintained my routine – attending church, participating in bible study groups, and even leading prayers.

But internally, I felt a growing disconnect, as if I was going through the motions without truly engaging in my spiritual practices.

This struggle with prayer revealed a deeper issue – my internal sadness was creating a barrier between me and my faith, something I had to work through.

Even those who seem deeply rooted in their faith may be grappling with internal struggles.

6) Exuding an aura of peace

Have you ever met someone who radiates tranquility, making you feel instantly at peace in their presence? Strangely enough, this can be a characteristic of Christians battling internal sadness.

While they’re dealing with emotional turmoil inside, they often project an external image of serenity. They’re the calm amidst the storm, the steady rock in a turbulent sea.

This serene facade serves two purposes: it helps them maintain their image of happiness, and it creates a soothing environment that distracts them from their internal pain.

It’s like they’re carrying an invisible storm within them, yet choosing to emit a calming breeze. This juxtaposition of inner turmoil and outer peace is what makes this behavior so intriguing.

7) Being overly self-critical

We all have an inner critic, pushing us to do better and achieve more. But for Christians who are happy on the outside, yet feeling sad on the inside, this inner critic can be particularly harsh.

They often set high standards for themselves, striving to live up to the ideals of their faith. While this can be motivating, it can also lead to excessive self-criticism when they perceive themselves as falling short.

Externally, they may appear confident and accomplished. However, in their private moments, they may be wrestling with feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt.

It’s a constant battle, trying to reconcile their high expectations with their human imperfections. 

8) Seeking isolation over company

Despite leading a seemingly social life, Christians dealing with internal sadness often prefer solitude over company. They cherish their alone time, using it as a sanctuary to retreat from the world.

Though they maintain their social obligations and attend gatherings, they often feel a sense of relief when they can return to their solitude. This is where they allow themselves to acknowledge their sadness, away from prying eyes.

They might seem like the life of the party on the outside, but internally, they’re yearning for a quiet moment alone. They are walking a tightrope between their external image and their internal reality. 

Understanding beyond appearances

As we journey through this life, it’s essential to remember that appearances can often be misleading. The seemingly happiest person in the room may be wrestling with profound sadness within.

Being aware of these behaviors can help us empathize better with our fellow Christians who may be putting on a brave exterior, while silently carrying their burdens.

Remember this quote from Plato, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle”.

This encapsulates the essence of understanding that beneath the surface of smiles and laughter, there could be an untold story of sadness.

So next time you cross paths with someone who always seems to be in high spirits, take a moment to look a little deeper. They might just need your understanding and empathy more than you realize.

Isn’t life full of such complexities? Yet, it’s these complexities that make us uniquely human.

What would Jesus say?

Unsure whether to move on from a failed marriage? Struggling with desire and feeling guilty for it? Wanting to live a life Jesus would be proud of?

Let Jesus tell you how to be a good Christian according to the teachings of the Bible.

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Check it out here.

 

Elizabeth Carter

Elizabeth Carter

I'm Elizabeth Carter, the heart behind Biblescripture.net. I’m a theology graduate from Boston College who found her calling in making the Bible's wisdom vibrant and accessible. Alongside my studies, I cultivated a love for peaceful morning walks and deep conversations about faith over coffee. Every day, I'm here to walk with you through scripture, making its teachings not just accessible, but a vibrant part of your daily life. Join me in discovering how these ancient words can transform us in the most beautiful ways.

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