8 clear cut signs your adult child is taking you for granted

There’s a delicate balance between supporting your adult child and being taken advantage of—and too often, that line becomes blurred.

Many parents are left feeling unappreciated, even used, by the very people they’ve raised.

It’s painful to feel taken for granted, especially by your own child.

But how can you be sure?

The first step is recognizing the signs—just as certain phrases can influence without manipulation, these signs will help you see if you’re being treated unfairly.

I’ve put together a list of 8 telltale signs your adult child may be taking you for granted:

1) Unreciprocated kindness

One of the most glaring signs that your adult child might be taking you for granted is the lack of reciprocity.

We’re not saying that every act of kindness should be tit-for-tat. But if you’re constantly going out of your way to help them, and they never seem to return the favor, it’s a clear cut sign that something is off.

Think about it. If you’re always the one cooking meals, cleaning up, lending money, or offering emotional support without getting any form of appreciation or reciprocation in return, that’s not a balanced relationship.

Your adult child might be taking you for granted if they assume you’ll always be there to solve their problems or cater to their needs without considering your feelings or well-being.

2) Disregard for your time

I remember a time when my own adult daughter would call me at all hours of the day and night. No consideration for my schedule or whether it was convenient for me to talk. She’d often make plans with me, only to cancel them at the last minute without as much as an apology.

This disregard for my time made me feel taken for granted. It was as though she assumed I had nothing better to do than wait around for her calls or rearrange my plans according to her whims.

Your adult child may assume that you’ll always be available whenever they need you, without considering how this might impact your own life.

It’s crucial to communicate this feeling of disrespect and discuss a more considerate way of interacting. Because everyone’s time, including yours, is precious and should be respected.

3) Lack of gratitude

Gratitude is a fundamental aspect of all healthy relationships.

But surprisingly, research suggests that people are less likely to express gratitude to their family members than to strangers or acquaintances. This can often lead to family members, like parents, feeling undervalued and taken for granted.

A simple thank-you can go a long way in making someone feel appreciated.

The absence of it, however, might signal that your adult child has started to see your actions not as a favor but as an obligation you owe to them.

4) Unwillingness to listen

Communication is a two-way street. You listen, and you’re listened to. But if you find that your adult child constantly dismisses your ideas, opinions, or feelings, that’s a sign they’re taking you for granted.

This unwillingness to listen can make you feel undervalued and taken for granted.

In a balanced relationship, everyone’s voice should be heard and respected.

5) Lack of interest in your life

As parents, we naturally take an interest in our children’s lives, no matter how old they get. We ask about their day, their work, their friends, their dreams. But it should go both ways.

If you find that your adult child rarely shows interest in your life, it can feel incredibly disheartening. You might feel like they only reach out when they need something from you, rather than genuinely wanting to know how you’re doing or what’s going on in your life.

This lack of interest can make you feel like a service provider rather than a loved and valued parent. 

You’re not just a parent. You’re a person with your own life, dreams and feelings too. And you deserve to be recognised and appreciated for that as well.

6) No initiative to help

I used to come home after a long day at work to find the dishes piled high and the living room in disarray. My adult son, who was living with me at the time, would be lounging on the couch, engrossed in his phone. It hurt to realize he didn’t think to help out without being asked.

Your adult child may assume that you’ll always be there to pick up after them, forgetting that you too could use a helping hand.

A family home should be maintained by all its members. If your adult child isn’t stepping up, it’s time for a serious conversation. You deserve to be treated with more respect and consideration.

7) Always expecting financial support

While it’s natural to want to help your adult child financially, especially in times of need, it can become a problem if they always expect you to bail them out.

If your adult child continually relies on you for money, never making an effort to become financially independent, they might see your hard-earned money as an easy solution to their financial woes—rather than something you’ve worked for and deserve to use as you see fit.

Financial responsibility is a crucial part of adulthood. If your adult child isn’t demonstrating this, it’s time to help them understand the value of money and the importance of standing on their own two feet.

8) Lack of respect for your boundaries

Boundaries are essential in every relationship, even between parents and their adult children. If your adult child consistently crosses your boundaries, disregards your personal space or oversteps in areas of your life where they’re not invited, they’re taking you for granted.

When someone respects you, they respect your boundaries. If this isn’t the case with your adult child, it’s time to have a serious discussion about what is and isn’t acceptable behavior. Because at the end of the day, everyone deserves to have their boundaries respected.

Final thoughts: It’s about respect and appreciation

A healthy relationship thrives on a balance of give and take, but that balance can shift when one person starts being taken for granted.

As a parent, you deserve the same respect and appreciation from your adult child that you give to them.

If these signs resonate with you, it may be time for an honest conversation with your child about how you’re feeling and what changes are needed.

This isn’t about blame—it’s about fostering mutual respect and understanding.

After all, every relationship, including the one with your child, should bring love and respect.

Use these signs as a wake-up call to address issues before they grow—you deserve to feel valued!