8 clever ways manipulative women control your emotions

Manipulation in relationships often flies under the radar, especially when it’s wrapped in charm or subtlety.

While anyone can be manipulative, certain behaviors stand out as calculated attempts to control emotions and gain the upper hand.

These tactics can leave you questioning your own feelings and second-guessing your decisions, often without realizing what’s happening.

When it comes to emotional manipulation, women can employ uniquely clever and nuanced strategies that make them hard to spot at first. But understanding these behaviors is key to protecting your emotional well-being and maintaining healthy boundaries.

In this article, we’ll uncover eight clever ways manipulative women can control your emotions—and how to recognize them before they take hold.

1) Creating a sense of obligation

One of the most cunning ways manipulative women can control your emotions is by creating a sense of obligation. This is a classic manipulation tactic that uses guilt to influence actions.

Think about it. A simple favor is asked of you, seemingly out of kindness or friendship. You oblige, because why wouldn’t you? But then, that favor is subtly held over your head, as a debt to be repaid.

You might hear phrases like, “After all I’ve done for you…” or “I helped you when you needed it…” These statements are designed to make you feel indebted and more likely to comply with her wishes.

This sense of obligation can be a powerful tool in the hands of a manipulator. It shifts the balance of power and puts them in control without you even realizing it.

The thing is, genuine kindness doesn’t come with strings attached. So next time you feel obligated to act in a certain way because of a past favor, question if this is genuine or a manipulation tactic.

2) Emotional blackmail

Emotional blackmail is another crafty manipulation technique I’ve seen in my years as a relationship expert.

It operates on fear, obligation, and guilt. This technique often involves threatening to withdraw love or affection if you don’t comply with their demands.

If you hear a woman say things like, “If you really loved me, you would…” or “You don’t care about me if you won’t…”, be careful. These are classic examples of emotional blackmail.

Remember this whenever you feel pressured into making a decision based on fear of loss or guilt. You have the power to control your own emotions, and it’s crucial to recognize when they’re being manipulated for someone else’s gain.

3) Playing the victim

Playing the victim is a classic manipulation tactic, and it’s surprisingly effective. Manipulative women who use this strategy often present themselves as perpetually wronged or misunderstood.

They might exaggerate their hardships or shift blame onto others, framing themselves as innocent sufferers in every situation.

This pulls at your empathy and sense of responsibility, making you feel like you need to fix things for them or constantly reassure them.

The power of this tactic lies in the emotional guilt it creates. You might find yourself walking on eggshells, fearing that any disagreement or boundary-setting will “hurt” them further.

In my book, “Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship“, I delve deeper into understanding and dealing with such emotional dependency.

Remember, it’s not your job to carry someone else’s emotional burdens. It’s important to offer support, but it’s equally crucial to recognize when you’re being manipulated into carrying a weight that isn’t yours to bear.

4) Using affection as a weapon

In a healthy relationship, affection is a genuine expression of love and care. However, in the hands of a manipulator, it can be used as a reward or punishment system.

Does she shower you with love when you do what she wants and withdraws it when you don’t? This could be a clear sign that affection is being used as a weapon.

You might hear phrases like, “I don’t feel like being close to you when you act like this” or “I can’t show you love when you’re being so difficult”. These statements are designed to make you feel guilty and anxious about losing her affection.

Affection should never be conditional or used as a bargaining chip. Love is not a weapon, so don’t let it be used against you.

5) Keeping you in the dark

Another tactic manipulative women often use is keeping you in the dark. This strategy involves:

• Withholding important information
• Offering vague responses
• Being deliberately elusive about their intentions or actions

By controlling the flow of information, they maintain an upper hand, leaving you confused, uncertain, and more reliant on them for clarity.

This tactic works because it creates a power imbalance in the relationship. When you don’t have all the facts, it’s harder to make informed decisions or call out questionable behavior.

To counter this, it’s essential to prioritize open and honest communication. If you notice consistent patterns of secrecy or evasion, it’s a red flag that the relationship dynamic might not be as healthy as it should be.

6) Gaslighting

One of the most insidious manipulation tactics is gaslighting. It’s a form of psychological manipulation where the manipulator makes you question your own sanity, memory or perception.

She might deny saying or doing something that you clearly remember, or she might accuse you of misremembering events. This is designed to make you doubt your own experiences, making you more dependent on her for “reality”.

You may hear phrases like, “You’re just imagining things” or “You’re overreacting again”. This is gaslighting, and it’s a serious red flag in a relationship.

Don’t fall for it — trust your instincts and don’t let someone else redefine your reality. It’s a hard pill to swallow, but recognizing gaslighting can be the first step towards reclaiming control over your emotions.

7) Constant criticism

Manipulative women might also use constant criticism as a tool to gain control in a relationship. 

This isn’t the type of feedback meant to help you improve or grow; instead, it’s an ongoing pattern of tearing you down, often over minor or exaggerated flaws.

The goal is to make you feel inadequate, insecure, and dependent on her approval for your self-worth.

This tactic chips away at your confidence and eventually, you’re left doubting your abilities, decisions, and even your value as a person.

It’s a calculated way to create a dynamic where she holds the power—if you’re constantly seeking her validation, she has the upper hand.

Constructive criticism fosters growth and mutual respect, but constant, nitpicky, or belittling comments are red flags.

The antidote? Rebuilding your self-confidence and setting boundaries to protect yourself from this emotional manipulation.

8) Isolating you from loved ones

Lastly, manipulative women might try to isolate you from your friends and family. They do this to gain more control over you and your emotions.

She may make excuses for you to miss social events, or make negative comments about your loved ones. Over time, this can lead to you feeling distanced from your support network and more reliant on her.

You might hear phrases like, “Your friends don’t really care about you” or “Your family doesn’t understand our relationship”.

It might sound like she’s the only one who cares about you, but really, these are just sneaky attempts to drive a wedge between you and your loved ones.

If you notice this behavior, it’s essential to push back by maintaining strong connections with friends and family. A solid support system can help you recognize manipulation for what it is and give you the strength to address it.

Conclusion

Recognizing manipulation tactics can be challenging, but it’s the first step towards regaining control of your emotions and your relationships.

Remember, it’s okay to set boundaries and to protect your emotional well-being. Don’t be afraid to seek help if you feel you’re being manipulated.

In my book, “Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship“, I explore these themes in greater depth and provide practical strategies for building healthier relationships.

Stay strong, trust your instincts, and remember – you deserve to be loved in a way that respects your autonomy and emotional health.