There’s a vast difference between speaking and commanding respect. The secret lies in the words we choose to use.
Confident speakers have a knack for instantly commanding respect with their words, without coming across as pompous or intimidating. The good news is, anyone can learn to do this!
I’m about to share 9 phrases that confident speakers consistently use to command instant respect. They’re phrases that resonate powerfully in the minds of listeners, subtly asserting authority and confidence.
1. “I understand…”
The ability to command respect often boils down to showing empathy.
In my observations, confident speakers consistently use the phrase “I understand” to show their audience that they are not just talking at them, but are genuinely interested in their thoughts and feelings.
This simple phrase has a powerful impact. It immediately breaks down barriers and creates a sense of connection. It shows that the speaker is not just there to assert their ideas, but to engage in a mutual exchange of thoughts.
Yet, it’s crucial to ensure that your use of “I understand” is genuine. Empty words will only undermine your credibility and respect.
As Carl R. Rogers, a renowned psychologist, once said, “When someone really hears you without passing judgment on you, without trying to take responsibility for you, without trying to mold you, it feels damn good!”
“I understand” is the doorway to such authentic listening and respect-commanding communication.
2. “From my experience…”
This phrase is a game-changer. It subtly conveys that you’re speaking from a wealth of personal knowledge and experiences, which inherently commands respect.
Let’s take an example from my own life.
I remember when I was giving a talk on mindfulness at a conference. The audience was a mix of beginners and experienced practitioners. I wanted to make a point about the power of consistent practice. Instead of just stating it as a fact, I said, “From my experience, practicing mindfulness for even five minutes a day can make a significant difference.”
Immediately, I noticed nods of agreement in the audience. This phrase helped establish my credibility because it showed that I was speaking from personal experience, not just theory or hearsay.
People respect those who walk the talk. And “from my experience” is an excellent way to demonstrate that you do.
3. “Have you considered…?”
Confident speakers have a knack for presenting their ideas in an engaging and non-threatening manner. A key phrase they often use is, “Have you considered…?”
This phrase works wonders because it invites the listener to think, rather than telling them what to do. It empowers the listener to explore possibilities they might not have thought about before.
In my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego, I delve into the concept of mindful communication. One chapter discusses the power of phrases like “Have you considered…?” in fostering meaningful dialogues.
For instance, instead of saying “You should meditate daily,” try saying “Have you considered adding daily meditation to your routine? It could help reduce stress and improve focus.” This approach respects the listener’s autonomy and promotes a productive and respectful conversation.
4. “What if we…”
The beauty of this phrase lies in its ability to stimulate the imagination and promote creative thinking. It opens up a realm of possibilities for the listener, helping them to visualize the potential outcomes of a proposed idea or action.
From a psychological perspective, this phrase works because it taps into our innate curiosity and desire for exploration. According to psychologist Todd B. Kashdan, author of “Curious?: Discover the Missing Ingredient to a Fulfilling Life”, curiosity is a key driver of human behavior and can be harnessed to facilitate positive change and growth.
By starting your suggestion with “What if we…”, you’re not just proposing an idea, but inviting your audience on a journey of exploration and discovery. This approach inherently commands respect for your creative thinking and leadership skills.
5. “I don’t know…”
Admitting you don’t have all the answers might seem like a weakness, but in reality, it’s a strength. It shows that you value truth over appearances and are open to learning new things.
In our quest for respect and authority, we sometimes forget that nobody has all the answers. Trying to appear infallible can actually undermine your credibility.
The renowned physicist Richard Feynman once said, “It’s okay to say, ‘I don’t know.’ There’s no shame in that.”
By admitting you don’t know something, you show your audience a level of humility and authenticity that instantly commands respect. Plus, it opens up the floor for others to share their knowledge, fostering a culture of learning and growth.
6. “Let’s explore this together…”
When you invite others to join you in exploring a concept or idea, it shows that you value their input and perspectives. It turns the conversation into a shared journey, rather than a one-sided lecture.
This approach encourages active participation, leading to richer discussions and more innovative solutions. You’re not just asserting your authority; you’re leveraging the collective intelligence of the group.
Psychologist Albert Bandura once said, “In order to succeed, people need a sense of self-efficacy, to struggle together with resilience to meet the inevitable obstacles and inequities of life.”
7. “I appreciate your input…”
During a panel discussion I was part of a few years ago, I found myself disagreeing with a fellow panelist’s viewpoint. Instead of outright rejecting their argument, I said, “I appreciate your input, and it’s given me a fresh perspective on the matter. However, I still believe…”
This phrase allowed me to express my disagreement in a respectful and constructive manner. It acknowledged the value of their contribution while still allowing me to stand by my own viewpoint.
Respect is not about agreeing with everyone. It’s about valuing diversity of thought and fostering an environment where everyone feels heard and valued.
8. “I respect your perspective…”
When it comes to commanding respect, acknowledging the perspectives of others is crucial. And the phrase “I respect your perspective…” does precisely that.
This phrase shows that while you may not necessarily agree with someone’s viewpoint, you still value their right to have it. It’s about fostering an atmosphere of mutual respect and understanding, even amidst disagreements.
By expressing your respect for others’ perspectives, you encourage them to do the same for you, creating a positive feedback loop that ultimately enhances the level of respect within the conversation.
As the saying goes, “Respect begets respect.” When we show genuine regard for the perspectives of others, It’s all about authentic communication
Final thoughts
When it comes to commanding respect as a speaker, it isn’t just about the words you say. It’s about the authenticity and intent behind those words. The phrases we’ve discussed are powerful tools, but they only truly command respect when spoken with sincerity and genuine appreciation for your audience.
Remember, confident speakers are not just assertive; they are also empathetic and respectful listeners. They understand that communication is a two-way street, and they value the input of others as much as their own.
In my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego, I explore the concept of mindful communication, which goes hand in hand with confidence and respect.
The key takeaway here is that commanding respect is not about overpowering others with your words. It’s about fostering a dialogue that values all voices and perspectives. It’s about speaking with authenticity and respecting the authenticity of others.
So reflect on your own communication style. Are you using these phrases in your conversations? And more importantly, are you embodying the spirit of respect and authenticity they represent?
Your answers to these questions could be the key to becoming a more confident and respected speaker.
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