8 habits of people who struggle to find happiness and contentment in life, says psychology

As a positive person myself, I sometimes struggle when friends come to me for advice but seem unable to find the bright side in their lives.

It’s hard to understand how someone can overlook the good things happening around them and focus solely on the negatives.

Despite my best efforts to encourage and uplift them, it often feels like their mindset traps them in a cycle of unhappiness.

Over time, I’ve realized that this isn’t about them refusing to be happy—it’s about habits and thought patterns that make happiness feel out of reach.

Psychology shows us that certain behaviors can prevent people from finding true contentment. Together, let’s explore these eight common habits that can stand in the way of happiness—and how to help ourselves and others overcome them.

1) Overthinking

Ah, the classic overthinker.

For many people it’s easy to become trapped in a cycle of endless thoughts, analyzing every situation to the point of exhaustion.

Replaying conversations, worrying about the future, or dwelling on past mistakes can take over, leaving little room to enjoy the present moment.

This habit is a common obstacle for those who struggle to find happiness and contentment.

Overthinking can create emotional distress, leading to feelings of anxiety, depression, and overwhelm.

It can also paralyze decision-making, as the focus shifts to what might go wrong rather than taking meaningful action.

Psychology highlights the importance of breaking free from this cycle.

Recognizing overthinking patterns and learning to let go of things beyond our control can make a profound difference.

While it’s not always easy, taking this step is crucial in creating space for more joy, peace, and fulfillment in life.

2) Chasing perfection

Perfection. It’s a lofty goal, isn’t it?

We might think that striving for perfection will lead us to happiness and contentment.

After all, who doesn’t want a perfect job, a perfect family, or a perfect body?

But here’s the catch: There’s no such thing as perfect. Life is messy and unpredictable.

When we constantly chase perfection, we set ourselves up for disappointment and frustration.

According to psychology, this pursuit of perfection can actually rob us of our happiness and contentment.

It can make us feel inadequate and constantly stressed because we never feel good enough.

Instead of aiming for perfection, we should focus on progress and self-improvement.

Appreciating our accomplishments, however small they may be, can bring us more joy and satisfaction than any illusion of perfection ever could.

3) Avoiding discomfort

It’s human nature to seek comfort and avoid discomfort.

We naturally gravitate towards situations that make us feel good and shy away from experiences that might be difficult or painful.

This avoidance, however, can trap us in a cycle of unhappiness. Why?

Because growth and change often involve some level of discomfort.

Think about it. Learning a new skill, confronting a difficult situation, or making a big life change – all these can be uncomfortable but are necessary for growth and happiness.

Interestingly, our brains are wired in such a way that stepping out of our comfort zone can lead to increased satisfaction and improved mental health.

It’s called neuroplasticity – the brain’s ability to adapt and change as a result of experience.

So next time you’re faced with a challenging situation, remember: Embracing discomfort might just be the key to finding true happiness and contentment.

4) Neglecting self-care

We all get busy, don’t we? With so many responsibilities and tasks pulling us in different directions, it’s easy to forget about taking care of ourselves.

Sometimes, we might even feel guilty for taking time out for self-care.

But here’s the thing: If you’re not taking care of yourself, it becomes harder to find happiness and contentment.

It’s not selfish to prioritize self-care. In fact, it’s necessary.

Whether it’s making time for a hobby you love, practicing mindfulness, or ensuring you get enough sleep, these acts of self-care contribute significantly to our overall well-being.

5) Comparing themselves to others

Have you ever found yourself scrolling through social media, only to end up feeling bad about your own life after seeing all the perfect snapshots of others’? It’s a trap many of us fall into.

In this age of social media, comparison has become a constant part of our lives.

We compare our jobs, our bodies, our vacations, even our daily routines with those of others.

The thing is, comparison often leaves us feeling inadequate and unhappy.

What we see on social media is often a highlight reel, not the full story.

Everyone has their struggles and challenges, even if they don’t share them online.

Instead of comparing ourselves with others, let’s focus on our own journey.

We are unique individuals with our own paths to happiness and contentment. And that’s something to celebrate.

6) Holding on to grudges

Let’s be honest, we’ve all been hurt by someone at some point in our lives.

And it’s natural to feel upset and hold a grudge.

I remember a time when I fell deeply in love, only to realize that the feelings weren’t reciprocated.

It was incredibly painful, and I struggled to let go of the hurt and resentment I felt toward the other person.

But holding on to grudges only harms us in the end. It fills our hearts with negativity and prevents us from moving forward.

Happiness and contentment come from letting go of past hurts and choosing forgiveness.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or condoning the wrong that was done to us. It simply means releasing the burden of resentment so that we can heal and find peace.

Choosing to forgive is choosing happiness over bitterness.

It’s not easy, but it’s definitely worth it.

7) Procrastinating on goals

We all have dreams and goals that we want to achieve.

But how often do we find ourselves saying, “I’ll start tomorrow” or “I’ll do it when I have more time”?

Procrastination might feel safe and comfortable in the short term, but in the long run, it only leads to regret and disappointment.

Here’s the hard truth: There will never be a perfect time to start.

Life will always be busy, and there will always be obstacles in our way.

If you want to find true happiness and contentment, you need to take action on your goals today, not tomorrow. 

So stop waiting for the perfect moment.

Take that first step today. Your future self will thank you.

8) Neglecting relationships

On our quest for happiness and contentment, we often overlook the most important aspect of our lives: our relationships.

We get so caught up in our own goals and ambitions that we forget to nurture the connections that truly matter.

These are the relationships with our family, friends, and loved ones.

The truth is that it’s the quality of our relationships that truly enriches our lives.

Strong, healthy relationships can provide us with support, love, and a sense of belonging – all key ingredients for happiness and contentment.

So take the time to connect with the people you care about. Show them love and appreciation.

Because at the end of the day, it’s not what we have in life, but who we have in our life that matters most.