9 habits to adopt if you want to become a more confident person, according to psychology

As people, it’s essential for us to believe in ourselves, feel secure in our abilities, and stride through life with confidence.

Confidence isn’t just an inborn trait—it’s a skill that can be nurtured and developed over time.

Unfortunately, not everyone naturally has this sense of self-assuredness and may struggle with feelings of self-doubt and insecurity.

According to psychology, adopting certain habits can significantly boost your sense of self-assurance and change the way you navigate the world.

Whether you’re looking to feel more confident in social situations, at work, or within yourself, these habits can help pave the way to a stronger, more confident you.

Here are 9 key habits to consider incorporating into your life to build lasting confidence:

1) Practice self-affirmation

Self-affirmation is a potent tool in the journey towards building your confidence, and it’s not just about standing in front of a mirror reciting positive mantras.

It’s about truly believing in your abilities and reinforcing that belief daily.

A lack of confidence often stems from a negative self-image—you might find yourself doubting your abilities or downplaying your achievements.

To combat this, you need to consciously remind yourself of your strengths, capabilities, and accomplishments; you can start by listing them down and revisit this list every day.

Over time, these positive affirmations can change the way you perceive yourself and significantly boost your confidence.

2) Set and achieve small goals

Setting and achieving small goals is a fantastic way to boost your confidence.

When we think about goals, we often imagine big, life-changing ones like landing a dream job or buying a house.

While these are important, they are also complex and time-consuming, which can oftentimes lead to feelings of overwhelm or failure if they’re not reached as quickly as we’d like.

Instead, try focusing on smaller, more immediate goals; simple examples include completing a workout routine, finishing a book, learning a new recipe, or even tidying up your workspace.

The sense of accomplishment you feel when you tick these smaller objectives off your list can give you a confidence boost.

It reinforces the belief that you can achieve what you set out to do—every big journey starts with small steps!

3) Embrace failure

It may seem strange, but embracing failure can actually boost your confidence.

We often view failure negatively, as something to avoid at all costs.

However, failure is a part of life and a vital part of learning and growing.

When you fail, it means you’ve stepped outside your comfort zone and tried something new. You’ve taken a risk, and that in itself is commendable.

Instead of letting failure knock you down, see it as an opportunity to learn and improve.

Ask yourself: What went wrong? What can you do differently next time?

By analyzing your failures, you can gain valuable insights and knowledge.

Every successful person has failed at some point in their life—the difference is that they didn’t let failure define them.

They picked themselves up, learned from their mistakes, and kept going!

4) Stop comparing yourself to others

Here’s a raw, honest truth: the constant comparison to others is a confidence killer.

In this age of social media, it’s all too easy to get caught up in the highlight reels of other people’s lives.

We see their success, their happiness, their perfectly curated images and we compare them with our own lives, often finding ourselves lacking.

But here’s the thing: What we see online is rarely a true reflection of people’s lives.

Comparing your life to someone else’s is like comparing apples to oranges; so, instead of focusing on what others are doing, concentrate on your own path!

Celebrate your achievements, no matter how small they may seem, learn from your mistakes, and keep striving towards your goals.

If there’s anything you need to put into mind it’s that: the only person you should be in competition with is the person you were yesterday.

5) Practice self-compassion

We are often our own harshest critics; we berate ourselves for our mistakes, dwell on our failures, and neglect to celebrate our wins.

This constant self-criticism can take a toll on our confidence.

It’s time to change this narrative and start treating ourselves with the same kindness and empathy we extend to others.

Messed up at work? Instead of dwelling on it, remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes.

Didn’t achieve your goal? It’s okay, remember that failure is just a stepping stone to success.

Practicing self-compassion means understanding that it’s okay to be imperfect—it means allowing yourself to make mistakes and learn from them without harsh judgment.

6) Celebrate your wins

We all know the feeling: you achieve something you’re proud of, but instead of celebrating it, you downplay it or immediately shift your focus to the next task. Sounds familiar, right?

It’s a common scenario for many of us, but it’s one that doesn’t do our confidence any good.

Every achievement, no matter how small, is a testament to your abilities and hard work.

When you don’t take the time to celebrate these moments, you’re overlooking the evidence of your capabilities.

The next time you finish a challenging project, or even when you simply make it through a tough day, take a moment to celebrate—pat yourself on the back, treat yourself to something nice, or share your accomplishment with a friend.

By acknowledging and celebrating your wins, you’re reinforcing the belief in your own competence and abilities, which can do wonders for your confidence!

7) Laugh at yourself

Here’s something a little lighter, but equally important—learn to laugh at yourself!

Life is full of ups and downs, and sometimes, things can get a little embarrassing or silly.

Maybe you tripped over your own feet, or perhaps you walked into a glass door (we’ve all been there).

Instead of cringing at these moments and letting them knock your confidence, why not have a good laugh at them?

Learning to laugh at ourselves indicates a healthy level of self-confidence.

It shows that you’re comfortable with who you are, quirks and all—plus, it’s a great way to keep things light-hearted and fun!

Trust me on this one: Laughter really is the best medicine!

8) Stop seeking approval from others

It’s natural to want to be liked and accepted, but when your self-worth hinges on the opinions of others, it’s a confidence killer.

Think about it: if you’re constantly looking for validation from others, you’re essentially handing them the power to dictate your self-esteem. That’s not a healthy way to live, nor is it fair to yourself.

Instead, strive to become self-validating.

Be proud of who you are and what you’ve accomplished without needing someone else to affirm it.

Your worth is not determined by how others perceive you, but by how you perceive yourself!

9) Believe in yourself

All these habits mean nothing if you don’t genuinely believe in your abilities and your worth.

Confidence starts from within, and it’s built on the understanding that you are capable, valuable, and deserving.

It’s not always easy, especially when you’re faced with challenges or setbacks—however, you’ve overcome obstacles before, and you’ll do it again!

Believing in yourself means trusting your abilities, standing by your decisions, and knowing that you have what it takes to achieve your goals.

Take note: You are stronger than you think, smarter than you believe, and more capable than you know!

Wrapping it up

As we bring this journey to a close, it’s important to remember that building confidence isn’t an overnight process.

It requires continuous effort, self-awareness, and the courage to step out of your comfort zone.

Indian-American author Deepak Chopra once said, “You can’t make positive choices for the rest of your life without an environment that makes those choices easy, natural, and enjoyable.”

In a way, surround yourself with positivity and people who uplift you.

The nine habits we’ve explored are a starting point for building confidence, but the most important step is the one you take for yourself—confidence is a personal journey, unique to each individual!

What works for one person may not work for another, so be patient with yourself and keep trying.

Keep in mind that confidence is about being comfortable with who you are and knowing you’re enough.

Embrace these habits and step into the world as your confident self—you’ve got this, my friend!

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Tara Whitmore

Tara Whitmore

Tara Whitmore is a psychologist based in Melbourne, with a passion for helping people build healthier relationships and navigate life’s emotional ups and downs. Her articles blend practical psychology with relatable insights, offering readers guidance on everything from communication skills to managing stress in everyday life. When Tara isn’t busy writing or working with clients, she loves to unwind by practicing yoga or trying her hand at pottery—anything that lets her get creative and stay mindful.

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