9 hard truths about parenthood people rarely talk about

Parenthood — it’s a journey that’s often romanticized and sugar-coated.

Sure, it’s filled with beautiful milestones, but it also comes with a slew of challenges that people rarely talk about.

Why? Because acknowledging these hard truths can be difficult, even gut-wrenching.

But here’s the deal: understanding these truths can make us better parents, more compassionate friends, and more empathetic human beings.

So let’s pull back the curtain on this often unspoken side of being a mom or dad.

In this article, I’m going to share 9 hard truths about parenthood that people rarely talk about. Brace yourself, it’s going to be a bumpy ride.

1) It’s not all rainbows and butterflies

Parenthood — it’s often painted as a dreamy, blissful journey.

And while there’s indeed beauty in it, let’s not sugarcoat the reality.

There are days filled with sleep-deprivation and constant worries. Moments when you question if you’re doing enough, if you’re doing it right.

There are times where you feel like you’re losing yourself amidst the whirlwind of diaper changes, feeding times, and tantrums.

And that’s okay.

It’s okay to feel overwhelmed. It’s okay to have bad days. It’s okay to not have it all together.

Because here’s the truth: parenthood isn’t a glossy magazine cover. It’s messy, chaotic, and incredibly challenging at times.

And acknowledging this reality doesn’t make you any less of a parent. In fact, it makes you human. It makes you real.

Let’s debunk the myth: Parenthood isn’t all rainbows and butterflies. It’s a rollercoaster ride with its ups and downs, and that’s perfectly alright.

2) You will feel an overwhelming sense of guilt

Ever heard of the term ‘parental guilt’?

It’s a common psychological concept that most parents, at some point, experience. And it’s as real as it gets.

Parental guilt is that nagging feeling of not doing enough, not being enough. It’s the internal voice that whispers you should have done this differently, or you shouldn’t have done that at all.

Sound familiar?

It’s like an uninvited guest that shows up at the most inconvenient times. You could be enjoying a rare moment to yourself, only to be interrupted by pangs of guilt for not spending that time with your child.

But here’s what you need to understand: feeling guilty does not mean you are guilty.

You’re not alone in this. It’s a universal part of the parenting journey. And it’s important to remember that you’re doing your best in a role that doesn’t come with a manual.

3) Self-care isn’t selfish

Now, this might seem counter-intuitive, especially after talking about parental guilt. But hear me out.

There’s this notion that good parents should always put their children first, even at the cost of their own well-being. But is that really the best approach?

In reality, self-care is an essential part of being a good parent. It’s not a luxury, it’s a necessity.

Think about it: how can you take care of your child’s needs if you’re running on empty? How can you teach them about self-love and respect if you’re not practicing it yourself?

Remember the airplane safety instructions? Always put on your oxygen mask first before helping others. Because you can’t help anyone if you’re unable to breathe.

The same principle applies to parenthood. Taking time for yourself isn’t selfish; it’s necessary for your physical, emotional, and mental health. And a healthier you makes for a happier parent.

4) There’s no such thing as a perfect parent

Are you striving for perfection in parenting?

Here’s a reality check: there’s no such thing as a perfect parent.

We all enter parenthood with a vision of what kind of parent we aspire to be. We dream of being the calm, patient, and understanding parent who never raises their voice.

But then reality hits.

You find yourself losing your patience, raising your voice, and not always responding in the ways you envisioned. And it’s easy to beat yourself up over these moments.

But here’s the thing: you’re human and humans make mistakes. Mistakes don’t make you a bad parent. They make you a real one.

What matters most is how you handle these mistakes. Do you learn from them? Do you apologize when necessary? Do you strive to do better next time?

These are the things that truly define you as a parent, not the unrealistic pursuit of perfection.

5) The loneliness can be overwhelming

Becoming a parent is a life-altering experience, and with it comes a wave of changes. One of these changes, which is often overlooked, is the feeling of loneliness.

Despite being surrounded by a bustling household and the constant demands of children, loneliness can creep in. And it can feel incredibly isolating.

Here are some reasons why parents might feel this way:

• The loss of personal time and space
• Feeling disconnected from friends who aren’t parents
• Struggling to maintain adult conversations amidst baby talk
• Feeling unappreciated or unnoticed

Loneliness in parenthood isn’t uncommon, but it’s rarely talked about. It’s an unspoken truth that many parents grapple with behind closed doors.

6) You’ll question your decisions constantly

Parenthood, for all its joys and rewards, is also a journey filled with doubts and second-guessing.

I’ll be honest, there were countless times when I found myself questioning my decisions. Was it right to let my toddler have that extra scoop of ice cream? Should I have been more strict about bedtime?

And it’s not just about the small stuff. We often find ourselves wrestling with bigger questions too. Am I raising my child to be a kind and compassionate human being? Am I setting them up for success in life?

Here’s the thing: There are no definitive answers.

Every child is unique, and what works for one may not work for another. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to parenting.

So let’s give ourselves a break. Trust in our instincts, learn from our mistakes, and remember that we’re doing the best we can with what we know.

7) Your child will not always like you

Imagine this: You’re at the park, and it’s time to leave. You gently tell your child that it’s time to go home, but they throw a tantrum and shout, “I don’t like you!”

How would you feel?

It’s a hard pill to swallow, but here’s the reality: Your child will not always like you. And that’s okay.

As parents, our role isn’t to be our child’s friend all the time. We’re their guides, their protectors, and sometimes, that means setting boundaries that they might not like.

So when your child declares they don’t like you because you won’t let them have candy before dinner, remember this: It’s not about being liked, it’s about doing what’s best for them.

Ask yourself: Are you prepared to make unpopular decisions if it’s in your child’s best interest? Can you withstand the temporary dislike in favor of long-term benefits?

8) You’ll worry, a lot

Worrying becomes a second nature when you become a parent.

I remember when my daughter started kindergarten. I was a bundle of nerves. Would she make friends? Would she eat her lunch? What if she feels lost or scared?

These worries only multiplied as she grew older.

It’s part and parcel of parenthood. We worry because we care. We worry because their happiness means the world to us, their pain feels like our pain.

From the moment they’re born, our children’s well-being becomes our top priority. And with that comes an endless list of concerns and anxieties.

But here’s the hard truth: Worrying is inevitable in parenthood. It’s a testament to the love and care we have for our little ones.

And while it can be exhausting, it’s also a silent reminder of the deep bond that we share with our children.

9) It’s worth every moment

Despite all the hard truths we’ve discussed, here’s the final and most important one: It’s worth every moment.

Parenthood is a wild ride, filled with highs and lows. Yes, there will be sleepless nights, endless worries, and moments of self-doubt.

But there will also be first steps, first words, and countless moments of pure joy and unadulterated love.

And these moments? They make all the challenges worth it.

Every struggle, every hardship fades into insignificance when you see your child’s smile, hear their laughter, or feel their tiny hand in yours.

So yes, parenthood is tough. It’s demanding and it’s relentless. But it’s also the most rewarding experience you’ll ever have. And that’s a truth that trumps all others.

Are you embracing the journey?

As we’ve traversed through these hard truths, it’s clear that parenthood is a complex, intricate, and deeply personal experience.

And while it’s essential to acknowledge these truths, it’s equally important to remember that every parent’s journey is unique. Your experience, your challenges, your joys – they are yours alone.

Perhaps the greatest takeaway from this exploration is this:

• Embrace the journey with all its ups and downs
• Give yourself grace in moments of doubt and guilt
• Celebrate the small victories as much as the big ones
• Remember that you’re not alone in this journey

As you reflect on these truths about parenthood, ask yourself: Are you embracing the journey? Are you giving yourself the grace to grow, to make mistakes, to learn?

Because at the end of the day, that’s what parenthood is all about. It’s a journey – one that’s challenging, rewarding, and undeniably transformational.