8 healthy fights you shouldn’t worry about having in a relationship

Believe it or not, not all relationship fights are bad.

Some can actually be beneficial.

How so?

Heated discussions can help bring important issues to light and lead to better understanding between partners.

In this article, I’m going to share the 8 types of fights that are actually good for your relationship.

Yes, you read that right!

So don’t worry if you find yourself in these disagreements—consider them part of your journey to a stronger bond.

1) Disagreements about chores

It’s rare to find a couple who doesn’t bicker about household duties.

And that’s okay.

Really, it is!

These disagreements are so common they’re practically a relationship rite of passage.

The division of chores can lead to heated discussions, but it’s not necessarily a bad thing.

It gives both partners the chance to express their needs and expectations.

These fights can actually be productive, leading to a more balanced and fair division of labor in your shared living space.

So don’t let the occasional spat about dishes or vacuuming get you down.

It’s just one of those healthy fights that helps you navigate your domestic life together.

2) Debates about spending habits

In my years as a relationship expert, I’ve found that money matters are a top source of conflict in relationships.

Let’s face it, we all have different attitudes towards money.

Some of us are savers, others are spenders, and this can cause tension.

However, arguing about finances can be a healthy part of a relationship.

Why?

Because it forces you to communicate about your financial goals and your shared future.

So use these debates as an opportunity to discuss and align your financial goals.

It’s not just about the argument itself, but about learning to navigate your financial life together.

3) Arguments about personal space

We all need some personal space, even in the most committed of relationships.

It’s about balancing ‘we’ time with ‘me’ time,, and finding that sweet spot can lead to some disagreements.

But hey, it’s okay! These fights are healthy.

They help you understand each other’s need for personal time and space.

I’ve seen many couples struggle with this balance in my career as a relationship expert.

In fact, I discuss this common issue in my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship.

So next time you find yourselves arguing about personal space, remember it’s just a part of creating a balanced relationship.

And if you want more advice on how to handle this and other relationship challenges, do check out my book!

4) Spats about spending time apart

Here’s something that might surprise you: arguing about spending time apart can be a sign of a healthy relationship.

Now, you might be thinking, “Wait, isn’t wanting to spend all our time together a good thing?”

Not necessarily.

A relationship needs breathing room.

Spending time apart allows for personal growth, which in turn enriches your relationship.

So next time you have a tiff about one of you wanting to take a solo trip or just hang out with friends without the other, don’t fret.

It’s just another one of those healthy fights that can lead to a stronger, more balanced relationship.

5) Disputes over family and friends

Ah, the age-old tug of war between your partner and your loved ones.

From personal experience, I can tell you this one is a common battlefield in relationships.

You might squabble about how much time you spend with your in-laws or disagree about how to handle a meddling friend, and that’s okay!

These disputes can actually help set boundaries and expectations within your relationship.

Remember, you’re not just a couple, but individuals with separate relationships and commitments.

Navigating this complex web is just another part of maintaining a healthy bond.

6) Clashes about past mistakes

Here’s the real, raw truth: none of us are perfect.

We’ve all made mistakes in our past, and sometimes, these can creep into our present relationships.

Maybe you’re holding onto a past hurt that your partner caused, or maybe they can’t seem to let go of that thing you did years ago.

These clashes can be tough, and they often run deep.

But guess what?

They’re also an opportunity.

An opportunity to forgive, to grow, and to let go.

When these clashes arise, face them head on.

Use them as a chance to understand each other better and to build a stronger foundation for your future.

7) Quarrels about parenting styles

If you’re parents, you’ve probably had disagreements over how to raise your children.

As a mother myself, I can tell you that this is completely normal.

We all have our own ideas about what’s best for our kids.

These arguments can feel intense because they touch on deep values and fears, but they also give you a chance to align your parenting philosophies and present a united front for your children.

So, embrace these quarrels as part of weaving the fabric of your family’s life together.

Despite the heat of the moment, they’re just another healthy fight in your shared parenting journey.

8) Disputes about intimacy

Let’s get real here: intimacy can be a sensitive subject.

Whether it’s about the frequency, the quality, or the nature of your intimate moments, disagreements can arise—and they can feel deeply personal.

But here’s the honest truth: these disputes are common, and they’re healthy.

They open up a dialogue about your needs and desires, and they give you a chance to understand your partner’s perspective.

So if you find yourselves arguing about intimacy, remember that it’s a normal part of building a satisfying relationship.

It might be uncomfortable, but it’s also an opportunity to deepen your connection and improve your shared intimacy.

Final thoughts

And there you have it, the 8 healthy fights you shouldn’t worry about having in your relationship.

Remember, conflict isn’t always negative.

Sometimes, it’s just a step towards better understanding and stronger connection.

But if you find yourselves stuck in these fights or if they’re causing distress, it might be worth seeking some guidance.

In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I offer practical advice on how to navigate these common relationship challenges.

Don’t let unresolved issues hold you back—take the steps to strengthen your relationship today.