How to get someone to fall in love with you (even when they’re “pulling away”)

Navigating the intricate maze of human emotions can be complex, especially when it comes to love and relationships.

We often find ourselves seeking the affection of another, only to be met with them pulling away. It’s disheartening, and it’s easy to feel powerless.

But what if I told you that there’s a way to make someone fall for you, even when they seem to be drifting apart? No, it’s not about manipulation or playing mind games. It’s about tapping into your own strength, embracing personal freedom, and becoming the best version of yourself.

In this article, I’ll share seven effective steps on how to achieve this. It is somewhat counterintuitive advice, but it’s rooted in building up personal power and cultivating a love that starts from within.

Stay tuned to discover these transformative steps that will not only bring you closer to the one you desire but also elevate your relationship with yourself.

1) Embrace your own worth

Many of us spend a lot of time contemplating how we can make ourselves more appealing to others. We wonder what changes we should make to our personality, our looks, or our lifestyle to catch their eye. But the truth is, these alterations often lead us away from our authentic selves.

The first step towards attracting someone’s love is to embrace your own worth. It’s about recognizing that you, as you are, have intrinsic value and that you don’t need to change yourself to be loved.

This step is about action – the action of self-love and self-appreciation. It’s about doing the things that make you feel good about yourself, that make you feel proud of who you are. It’s about living in alignment with your values and pursuing your passions.

When you truly embrace your own worth, you radiate an energy that is attractive to others. You become a beacon of authenticity and self-confidence. So instead of trying so hard to gain someone else’s affection, try focusing on loving yourself first.

2) Cultivate your independence

Often we believe that to make someone fall in love with us, we need to be constantly available, always ready to meet their needs or desires. This couldn’t be further from the truth.

True attractiveness stems from independence. It comes from being comfortable with who you are and not needing someone else to complete you. It’s about finding satisfaction and joy in your own life, independent of anyone else.

I remember a time when I thought that the key to being loved was to be indispensable to someone. But I learned that dependence wasn’t love; it was neediness. And there’s a big difference between the two.

Independence doesn’t mean building walls around yourself; it means building a strong foundation within yourself. It’s about having your own interests, your own friends, and your own goals. It’s about embracing the relationship with yourself.

As the great Maya Angelou once said, “You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anybody.” So cultivate your independence and watch as it transforms not only how others see you, but more importantly, how you see yourself.

3) Dismantle the myth of the perfect partner

One of the biggest obstacles we face when trying to attract love is our own preconceived notions. We often have an idealized image of what our partner should be like, and we try to mold reality to fit this image. But real love is about accepting others as they are, not as we want them to be.

This is a fundamental teaching in the “The Art of Love and Intimacy” masterclass with the shaman Rudá Iandê. This masterclass, which I helped produce, encourages us to embrace our present circumstances and significantly improve our relationships.

One of the exercises in this masterclass beautifully illustrates how our external relationships mirror our internal relationship with ourselves. This realization places us in control of our personal development, aligning perfectly with my belief in personal responsibility and authentic connections.

The teachings in this masterclass help to break free from toxic relationship cycles and limiting beliefs, guiding us towards deeper, more meaningful connections.

Ultimately, by watching this masterclass, you’ll gain insights that empower you to transform your relationships. You’ll learn to embrace authentic connections and abandon unrealistic ideals, leading to greater fulfillment.

4) Break free from toxic relationship cycles

As we journey through life, we often find ourselves falling into the same patterns in our relationships. We attract the same types of people, engage in the same behaviors, and end up in the same situations. These patterns can be toxic, and they can keep us from experiencing the love we deserve.

It’s not easy to confront these patterns. It takes courage to look at our relationships honestly and recognize the cycles that are holding us back. But it’s necessary if we want to create healthier, more fulfilling relationships.

This is where the raw, honest work comes in. It’s about challenging our limiting beliefs, confronting our fears, and taking responsibility for our choices. It’s about acknowledging that we have the power to break these cycles and create a different reality for ourselves.

The process isn’t always comfortable, but it’s transformative. It’s about moving beyond what’s familiar and stepping into the unknown. It’s about daring to believe that we deserve better and doing what it takes to make that a reality.

So, ask yourself: What toxic cycles are you ready to break free from?

5) Embrace the relationship with yourself

It may seem strange to focus on the relationship with yourself when you’re trying to attract love from someone else. But the reality is, how you relate to yourself sets the tone for how others relate to you.

When you cultivate self-compassion, self-respect, and self-love, you send a clear message about what you expect from others. You demonstrate that you value yourself and that you won’t settle for less than what you deserve.

This isn’t about being selfish or self-centered. It’s about recognizing your worth and treating yourself accordingly. It’s about setting healthy boundaries and not compromising your values or well-being for the sake of someone else.

When you truly embrace the relationship with yourself, you become more attractive to others. You radiate a sense of self-confidence and authenticity that is irresistible.

Love yourself first and the world will follow suit.

I share more about my journey learning to love myself in the third “personal freedom hack” in my YouTube video below:

6) Practice empathy and mutual respect

In our quest for love, we often focus on how we can make ourselves more desirable. But equally important is how we treat others. Empathy and mutual respect are key components of any healthy, loving relationship.

When we approach others with empathy, we seek to understand their perspective, their feelings, and their experiences. We listen with an open mind and an open heart. We validate their emotions and show them that they are heard and understood.

Mutual respect, on the other hand, is about recognizing the dignity and worth of the other person. It’s about treating them with kindness and consideration, even when we disagree. It’s about honoring their autonomy and their right to be themselves.

Practicing empathy and mutual respect not only enriches our relationships but also deepens our connection with ourselves. It teaches us to be compassionate, understanding, and respectful towards our own feelings and experiences.

Remember: Love isn’t just about being loved. It’s also about being loving. So practice empathy and mutual respect, both towards others and towards yourself.

7) Embrace personal freedom

In our desire to be loved, we sometimes forget the importance of personal freedom. We may compromise our own needs, desires, or values in an attempt to keep the other person close. But true love isn’t about possession or control; it’s about freedom.

Embracing personal freedom means honoring your own needs and desires. It means living in alignment with your values and pursuing your passions. It means choosing authenticity over approval and integrity over image.

When we embrace personal freedom, we become more attractive to others. We radiate a sense of self-confidence and authenticity that is irresistible. More importantly, we attract people who value us for who we truly are, not who they want us to be.

So embrace your personal freedom. Be true to yourself. In doing so, you’ll not only attract love, but you’ll also create a life that is deeply fulfilling and uniquely yours.

Wrapping up

In this article, we’ve delved into the somewhat counterintuitive yet empowering steps to attract love, even when it seems elusive. We’ve learned that the journey to attracting love is not about changing ourselves to fit someone else’s ideal, but about embracing our worth, cultivating our independence, and dismantling the myth of the perfect partner.

We’ve discussed the importance of breaking free from toxic relationship cycles and embracing the relationship with ourselves. We’ve acknowledged that practicing empathy and mutual respect and embracing personal freedom are key aspects of attracting genuine love.

Each step we’ve explored aligns with the underlying belief that personal empowerment, authenticity, and conscious living are integral to creating fulfilling relationships. They teach us that love is not about possession or control, but about freedom and mutual respect.

For those ready to deepen their understanding and apply these principles to their own journey towards love, I highly recommend the free “The Art of Love and Intimacy” masterclass with Rudá Iandê. This masterclass guides you through transforming your approach to relationships by grounding you in reality and encouraging you to embrace your present circumstances.

Watching this masterclass will provide you with insightful exercises showing how your relationships mirror your internal state. This realization empowers you to take control of your personal development. It’s a transformative experience aligning perfectly with the principles we’ve discussed here.

Every step towards love begins with a step towards self-discovery and self-love. So why not start today? Check out Rudá Iandê’s “The Art of Love and Intimacy” masterclass and embark on your journey towards authentic love.