You’ve been together for years, sharing unforgettable memories and imagining a future full of love and stability. You’re ready to take the next step—to start a family and build a life together.
But is he? Does his behavior match the dreams you’ve been planning, or are there subtle signs he’s not on the same page?
Sometimes, actions speak louder than words. Even the most heartfelt promises can be undermined by behaviors that reveal hesitation or unreadiness.
In this article, we’ll uncover 9 surprising behaviors no man serious about starting a family would ever display. Could any of them describe your relationship?
1) Shying away from commitment
When it comes to starting a family, commitment isn’t just a nice-to-have.
It’s an absolute necessity.
A man who genuinely wants to start a family with you isn’t going to be vague or noncommittal about the future. He won’t avoid serious conversations or make excuses to dodge any talk about long-term plans.
On the contrary, he’ll be open, honest, and willing to discuss the future in real, concrete terms.
That’s not to say he won’t have fears or uncertainties – we’re all human, after all. But he’ll face them head on, with you by his side, rather than avoiding them.
Starting a family goes beyond simply wanting children, it’s about being prepared and committed to creating a life together.
2) Showing signs of narcissism
In the world of psychology, narcissism is a term that gets thrown around quite a bit.
But what does it really mean?
It’s more than just being self-centered or boastful. A narcissist has an inflated sense of self-importance and a deep need for excessive attention and admiration.
Here’s the kicker:
They lack empathy for others and have trouble recognizing or understanding the needs and feelings of those around them.
Starting a family is all about teamwork, compromise, and understanding. It requires empathy and the ability to share in the joys and challenges of raising children.
A man who truly wants to start a family with you will show empathy and care for your feelings. He’ll be ready to share the spotlight, not just hog it.
3) Disregarding your dreams and ambitions
While the previous point highlighted the importance of avoiding narcissism, this one focuses on the balance needed in a relationship, especially when considering starting a family.
Starting a family doesn’t mean abandoning personal dreams and ambitions. It’s about weaving those dreams into the shared vision of the family.
A man ready to build a life with you will never dismiss your ambitions as unimportant. Instead, he’ll respect them and actively support your pursuit.
Does he listen when you discuss your career goals or personal projects? Does he show real interest and encourage you?
When your dreams are consistently downplayed or you feel guilty for following them, it’s a clear sign that he may not be ready for the responsibilities of family life. A family thrives on mutual respect and support.
4) Avoiding tough conversations
Have you ever tried to discuss something serious, only to have him change the subject or make a joke to lighten the mood?
Starting a family involves addressing some big, important topics—financial planning, parenting styles, values to instill in your children, and more.
These discussions can feel overwhelming at times, but they’re essential to building a strong foundation for the future.
A man who’s truly ready to start a family with you will recognize the importance of these conversations. Instead of avoiding difficult topics or deflecting with humor, he will engage with you openly and honestly.
Even when the conversation becomes uncomfortable, he will be committed to finding solutions and sharing his thoughts, knowing these discussions are vital for your shared future.
5) Resorting to belittling or blaming
In any relationship, disagreements are inevitable. But it’s how we handle these disagreements that truly matters.
A man who genuinely wants to start a family with you will never resort to the following destructive behaviors in the heat of an argument:
- Belittling your opinions or feelings
- Blaming you for issues in the relationship
- Making you feel guilty for expressing your thoughts
These behaviors aren’t just damaging to the relationship, they’re also indicators of someone who may not be ready to navigate the challenges that come with starting a family.
6) Disregarding the value of compromise
In my experience, compromise serves as the foundation of any successful relationship. It’s not a matter of winning or losing; it’s about finding a middle ground where both partners feel valued and heard.
A man who wants to start a family with you won’t view compromise as weakness or defeat. He will recognize it as essential to fostering balance, harmony, and mutual respect.
We’ve all faced situations where we had to set aside our egos and meet our partner halfway. While it’s challenging, it’s necessary.
So, we must ask: Does he understand the value of compromise, or does he insist on having his way? When it’s the latter, it may signal he’s unprepared for the shared responsibilities and decisions that come with building a family.
As Robert Louis Stevenson said, “Compromise is the best and cheapest lawyer.”
It reminds us that in relationships, finding common ground is not only practical, but essential to resolving conflicts and moving forward together.
7) Making decisions without considering you
Imagine this: he comes home one day and announces he’s accepted a job in another city, without discussing it with you first. Or he buys a car without considering your opinion or how it might affect your shared finances.
How would you feel? Surprised? Hurt? Disrespected?
These hypothetical situations reveal a crucial aspect of a healthy relationship—decision-making should be a collaborative process.
A man who is ready to build a family understands that their decisions impact more than just themselves. They recognize that these choices affect you and the entire family.
They will involve you in major decisions, valuing your perspective and considering the consequences for both of you. This approach fosters trust, respect, and creates a strong foundation for your shared future.
8) Keeping you in the dark about his life
Let’s be honest, we all have our private lives, and it’s perfectly healthy to maintain some personal space, even in the closest relationships.
However, when a man wants to start a family with you, he won’t keep you in the dark about significant aspects of his life.
From experience, I’ve learned that someone committed to building a family is open and transparent. He doesn’t hide things that could affect your shared future.
He shares his hopes, dreams, fears, and insecurities with you, including you in his plans and decisions that impact both of you.
This isn’t about revealing every small detail of his daily routine but focusing on the key elements that matter in your relationship and future family life.
Building a family is about creating a shared life together. Secrecy has no place in that.
A strong partnership is built on mutual openness, trust, and the understanding that you’re in it together, facing everything as one.
9) Avoiding expressing his love
Starting a family is, at its core, an act of love. It’s about wanting to share that love with another person, and eventually, with your children.
He won’t just express his love through grand gestures or special occasions.
He’ll show it in the everyday moments – a comforting hug after a tough day, a supportive word when you’re feeling down, or simply being there when you need him.
If he’s holding back his love or failing to express it in ways that resonate with you, it’s worth considering whether he’s truly ready to embark on the journey of starting a family.
Are you ready to evaluate your relationship?
As we’ve seen, there are certain behaviors that a man who genuinely wants to start a family will never display. But these are just indicators and not definitive rules.
However, they can serve as a starting point for self-reflection and evaluation of your relationship. So, as you consider these points, also reflect on:
- How does he respond when you talk about the future?
- How does he handle conflict or disagreements?
- Does he respect and value your dreams and ambitions?
Starting a family is a significant step that requires mutual understanding, love, and respect.
Take the time to reflect on these behaviors and what they mean for your relationship. Ultimately, the decision to start a family should be based on mutual consent and readiness.
So take your time, communicate openly and make the decision that feels right for both of you.
What would Jesus say?
Unsure whether to move on from a failed marriage? Struggling with desire and feeling guilty for it? Wanting to live a life Jesus would be proud of?
Let Jesus tell you how to be a good Christian according to the teachings of the Bible.
We brought Jesus back to life with the help of AI. Ask your toughest life questions, and Jesus will tell you exactly what to do.
