If someone uses these 8 phrases in a conversation, they’re probably not very trustworthy or honest

Words are powerful. They can inspire, deceive, or even betray our trust. In a world overflowing with chatter, discerning the truth behind phrases like “Trust me…” or “You won’t believe what happened…” is essential.

Have you ever paused to consider what lies beneath these seemingly innocuous statements? Often, they serve as clever disguises, masking intentions and inviting skepticism rather than understanding.

Trust isn’t handed out freely; it’s earned through consistent actions and genuine connections. Yet, some people wield persuasive phrases as tools of manipulation, sidestepping accountability and inviting doubt.

Join me as we delve into the phrases that may reveal more than they conceal, uncovering the subtle signals that can betray dishonesty and erode trust in our relationships.

1) Trust me…

Trust is a crucial component of any relationship, whether personal or professional. It’s something that is earned over time through consistent actions, not something that can be granted through mere words. In the words of Lincoln Chafee, “Trust is built with consistency.”

However, some people tend to use phrases like “Trust me…” to persuade others into believing their words without providing any substantial evidence or reasoning.

In conversations, if someone frequently uses the phrase “Trust me…”, they’re probably trying to convince you without acknowledging your concerns or providing a solid foundation for their claims.

This phrase is a red flag indicating a potential lack of honesty or trustworthiness. It’s as if they’re trying to bypass your critical thinking and appeal directly to your trust in them.

Now, this doesn’t mean that everyone who uses this phrase is untrustworthy. But it’s essential to be aware of this pattern and ensure that trust is based on actions and credibility, not just persuasive phrases.

True honesty doesn’t need constant reassurances.

2) You won’t believe what happened…

Suspense and curiosity are powerful tools when it comes to storytelling. We all love a good plot twist or an unexpected turn of events. Yet, when these elements creep into real-life conversations, they can be a sign of exaggeration or even deceit.

Let me share a personal experience to illustrate this point.

A friend of mine had a habit of starting her stories with “You won’t believe what happened…”. At first, this phrase piqued my interest and I was keen to hear the rest of her tale. But over time, I started noticing a pattern. The stories that followed were exaggerated or embellished to make them more exciting or dramatic than they really were.

One time she began with “You won’t believe what happened at the coffee shop today…”. I braced myself for some unbelievable incident, only to find out that she’d just seen a celebrity getting coffee – a usual occurrence in our city.

This phrase serves as bait to capture attention, yet it can also indicate a tendency toward exaggeration or dishonesty. When someone frequently relies on it, taking their stories with a grain of salt is wise until you can confirm their credibility.

3) This is confidential, but…

“This is confidential, but…” is a phrase that can signal a lack of trustworthiness.

By sharing something that’s supposedly confidential, the person is showing disrespect for someone else’s trust.

While it might seem like they’re confiding in you, keep in mind that if they can break someone else’s confidence, they can break yours too.

This phrase should serve as a warning. It’s better to stop the conversation there and reinforce the importance of maintaining confidentiality.

After all, trust is a fundamental aspect of any relationship, and once broken, it’s hard to regain.

4) I heard from someone…

In our conversations, we often lean on second-hand information to convey news, share intriguing tidbits, or spark gossip. A habitual use of the phrase “I heard from someone…” suggests evasion or a reluctance to take responsibility for the information being shared.

This expression enables the speaker to relay information without owning its accuracy, providing an easy escape route should the claims turn out to be false or misleading. It functions as a verbal shrug, sidestepping accountability.

This aligns with Albert Einstein’s insight that “Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters,” highlighting the importance of honesty in all communications.

While this doesn’t always indicate dishonesty, frequent reliance on “I heard from someone…” raises questions. Is the speaker hiding behind vague sources? Are they avoiding responsibility for the truthfulness of their statements?

5) I’m not trying to be difficult, but…

Here’s an interesting one – “I’m not trying to be difficult, but…”

This phrase seems to suggest that the person is aware their next statement might be challenging or controversial. However, declaring they aren’t trying to be difficult doesn’t necessarily make the following point any less so.

In fact, it can sometimes mean the opposite. It’s like they’re preparing you for the difficulty while attempting to disclaim any responsibility for it.

When you hear this phrase, it’s worth taking a moment to question why the person feels the need to preface their point this way. It might signal a lack of straightforwardness or a tendency to shy away from responsibility.

6) I’m just saying this for your own good…

The phrase “I’m just saying this for your own good…” serves as a precursor to criticism or hard truths, intended to soften the blow—a verbal cushion for the impact of the words that follow.

In my experience, this phrase disguises harsh or judgmental comments. I recall a time when a friend used this phrase before critiquing my life choices. Instead of feeling supported, I felt judged and misunderstood.

This expression can also act as an excuse to impose one’s beliefs or opinions on others under the guise of concern. Frequent use of this phrase raises questions about whether someone genuinely has your best interests at heart or is simply trying to control the narrative.

7) It’s not about the money…

When someone mentions the phrase “It’s not about the money…”, it indicates the opposite—that it might actually be about the money. This expression is commonly employed to redirect attention away from financial motives or to diminish the significance of monetary gain in a particular context.

While there are indeed instances where people genuinely have altruistic motives, this phrase can serve as a smokescreen for hidden financial interests or objectives.

By asserting that money isn’t the primary concern, individuals may attempt to mask their true intentions, presenting themselves in a more favorable light. This tactic can create a false narrative that obscures the real motivations behind their actions, leading to skepticism about their sincerity.

8) I promise…

Promises are powerful. They’re a commitment, a pledge, a bond. Yet, when the phrase “I promise…” is overused, it can begin to lose its weight and hint at potential dishonesty.

Promises deserve to be reserved for situations where they truly matter, not employed as a tool for persuasion or manipulation. The repeated use of “I promise…” raises questions about whether those words are genuinely meaningful or merely an empty assurance. Ultimately, the true measure of a promise lies in the actions that follow it.

As Robert W. Service wisely observed, “Now a promise made is a debt unpaid, and the trail has its own stern code.” This highlights that promises should not be taken lightly; they are obligations that demand respect and accountability.

Wrapping it up: Words and their weight

Language is a powerful tool that reflects our thoughts and character. The phrases we use can reveal much about our honesty and trustworthiness.

People rely on certain phrases when they’re not entirely truthful, using them as escape routes or smokescreens to conceal their true intentions. While these phrases aren’t inherently negative, their overuse can raise concerns about a person’s integrity.

As we navigate our interactions, let’s be mindful of our word choices and those of others. Striving for honesty and transparency is essential, as our words carry the weight of our truths and intentions.