If you can’t remember the last time your relationship thrilled you, say goodbye to these 8 behaviors

Here’s the raw deal: relationships can suck. Big time. You start off thinking you’ve found the one—your heart races, your palms sweat, and every stolen glance feels like a scene from a sappy rom-com.

But then, reality check! You wake up one day, and the thrill is gone. You can’t remember the last time your partner made your heart do that cute little somersault, and instead, you feel more like roommates than soulmates.

The truth is, every relationship goes through phases, but when the spark fades and the connection feels more like a chore, it’s time to reassess.

Sometimes, without realizing it, we fall into behaviors that sabotage the very thing we’re trying to protect—our bond.

The good news? It’s not too late to turn things around.

In this article, we’ll break down 8 behaviors that might be draining the excitement from your relationship and show you how letting go of them can reignite that lost passion. Ready to say goodbye to the bad habits and hello to a love that excites again? Let’s get started.

1) Communication breakdown

When was the last time you had a heart-to-heart conversation with your partner?

Not just the usual small talk about daily chores or the latest Netflix series, but a deep, meaningful discussion about your dreams, fears, and long-term aspirations.

A lack of communication can slowly erode the foundation of any relationship, transforming an exciting journey into a mundane routine.

Effective communication is one of the cornerstones of a healthy relationship. Tony Gaskins wisely states, “Communication to a relationship is like oxygen to life. Without it, it dies.”

When couples stop engaging in open and honest dialogue, it creates emotional distance, which can lead to misunderstandings, frustration, and a breakdown of trust.

2) Taking your partner for granted

Do you remember the appreciation you felt for your partner in the early days of your relationship? All those little things they did which made you feel like the most special person in the world.

As time passes, we start taking our partners for granted, assuming they’ll always be there, doing what they do. This behavior can gradually drain the thrill from your relationship.

For instance, I recall a time when I stopped appreciating my partner’s small gestures of love, like making my favorite breakfast on weekends or leaving sweet notes for me to find. The thrill in our relationship started to fade.

But once I recognized my behavior and started showing my gratitude, the difference was remarkable. The thrill returned, as did the smiles and warmth. 

3) Neglecting personal growth

4) Stuck in a routine

A typical weekday might look like this: you and your partner wake up, have breakfast, go to work, come home, eat dinner, watch TV, and then go to bed. The same routine repeats, day after day. Sound familiar?

Routines can be comforting, but they can also lead to monotony in a relationship. When every day starts feeling like Groundhog Day, the thrill of being with your partner slowly starts to fade away.

It’s important to keep in mind that “Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions” – Dalai Lama. If you want to keep that spark alive, it’s up to both of you to make the effort.

Breaking the loop and introducing new activities or experiences into your relationship is key. It could be as simple as trying a new recipe together or as adventurous as going on a spontaneous road trip. Small, thoughtful changes can reignite the connection and bring back the excitement.

5) Lack of physical affection

Physical affection—like cuddling, holding hands, and kissing—is closely tied to overall satisfaction in a relationship. Now, imagine these simple acts of intimacy slowly fading from your relationship. Would you still feel fully satisfied?

Physical intimacy goes beyond just sex; it’s about expressing love, care, and connection in ways that words can’t always convey. A hug or a gentle touch can speak volumes, offering reassurance and comfort.

When this kind of affection starts to dwindle, it can create distance between partners, leading to feelings of disconnection.

To bridge that gap, start reintroducing small acts of affection into your daily routine—hold hands on a walk, cuddle during a movie, or share a warm hug after a long day. These simple gestures can reignite the excitement and strengthen your emotional and physical bond.

6) Lack of quality time

There was a time when my partner and I were so absorbed in our careers that we barely spent any meaningful time together.

Although we lived under the same roof, it often felt like we were just passing by each other. Days turned into weeks, and before long, we felt more like distant roommates than a couple.

Quality time is vital for maintaining a strong, healthy relationship. It means being fully present and engaged—setting aside distractions like phones and TV, and focusing on truly listening and connecting with your partner.

As Theophrastus wisely said, “Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend.” Make an effort to schedule regular date nights, enjoy activities you both love, or spend an evening at home reconnecting. What truly matters is the quality of the time shared together.

7) Holding onto grudges

Have you ever found yourself in the midst of an argument, only to bring up a mistake your partner made months, or even years ago?

Holding onto past mistakes is like dragging a heavy weight around—it slows you down and keeps you from moving forward. Every time you bring up past errors during an argument, it reveals that forgiveness hasn’t truly taken place.

This can breed resentment, mistrust, and make your partner feel like they’re walking on eggshells. Cause the saying of Buddha goes, “Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”

Letting go of past mistakes doesn’t mean forgetting what happened. It means acknowledging it, learning from it, and then allowing yourself to move forward. It’s about choosing to focus on the present and the future, rather than being stuck in the past.

By doing so, you give your relationship room to grow and evolve, bringing back the thrill and excitement that comes with new beginnings.

8) Avoiding conflict

So let’s say you’ve had a hard day at work and your partner does something small that annoys you. Instead of addressing it, you decide to let it slide to avoid an argument. Sounds like the mature thing to do, right? Wrong.

While it may seem like a good idea to avoid conflict in the moment, consistently sweeping problems under the rug can lead to a mountain of unresolved issues in your relationship. It’s like a pressure cooker waiting to explode – and when it does, it can be destructive.

The truth is, conflict is a natural part of any relationship. It’s not about avoiding disagreements, but rather learning how to navigate them effectively. This means being able to communicate your feelings honestly and respectfully, even when emotions are running high.

It’s not you against your partner – it’s both of you against the problem. So next time a conflict arises, don’t shy away from it. Embrace it as an opportunity to learn more about each other and to strengthen your relationship.

The bottom line

Revitalizing a relationship isn’t always about grand gestures or sweeping changes—it’s often the small, everyday habits that can make or break the connection.

By recognizing and addressing these behaviors, you can take meaningful steps toward rebuilding the excitement that may have faded. Relationships thrive on effort, communication, and a willingness to grow together, even through the tough times.

If you’re feeling like the spark has dimmed, don’t lose hope.

By letting go of these negative patterns and embracing healthier ones, you can reignite the passion, deepen your bond, and rediscover the joy that brought you together in the first place.

It’s never too late to fall in love all over again.