When you shout at your children, they learn you’re angry.
When you hug them, they feel your love.
Simple, right?
But being a positive role model goes far deeper than just expressing emotions.
It’s woven into the everyday habits we cultivate, the tone we set in our homes, and the words we choose—because those are the lessons they carry with them.
Some parents seem to have mastered this.
Often, it’s because they’ve consciously let go of certain negative behaviors that undermine their influence.
The change begins with you, my friend; if you truly want to guide your children toward a brighter future and be the positive role model they deserve, it’s time to part ways with these 8 specific habits:
1) Losing your temper
We all experience anger. It’s as human as emotions get.
But when it comes to setting an example for your kids, losing your temper is a habit that needs to go. Why? Because it teaches them that it’s okay to let anger take control.
Sure, there are times when frustration bubbles over, but it’s how we handle these moments that matters most. Do we shout and slam doors? Or do we take a deep breath and communicate our feelings calmly?
Those who are effective role models usually choose the latter. They understand that their reactions set a precedent for their children’s future behavior.
2) Procrastination
Guilty as charged. I used to be a serial procrastinator.
I’d put off chores, delay work tasks, and leave everything to the last minute.
It was a habit I wasn’t proud of, but I didn’t realize the impact it had on my children until my daughter said, “Why should I do my homework now when I can do it later like you do with your work?”
It hit me then – my procrastination wasn’t just affecting me, but setting a poor example for my kids as well.
That’s when I decided to kick this habit to the curb. I started planning my day, setting deadlines and sticking to them. Was it easy? No. But was it worth it? Absolutely.
As parents, we need to show our children the value of time management and the importance of not leaving things until the last minute.
It’s one of the most valuable lessons they’ll carry into adulthood, and it starts with us saying goodbye to procrastination.
3) Negative self-talk
Did you know the way we talk to ourselves impacts our self-esteem, confidence, and overall mental health? And guess what, our children are listening.
When they hear us say things like “I’m so stupid” or “I can’t do anything right,” they don’t just hear those words. They absorb them. They start to believe that it’s normal to talk to oneself in such a negative way.
But here’s the good news: just as our words can harm, they can also heal.
By replacing negative self-talk with positive affirmations and encouraging words, we not only improve our own mindset but also teach our children to nurture their self-esteem.
4) Excessive screen time
Our lives are more digitally connected than ever before. Screens are everywhere – phones, tablets, TVs, computers.
While they can be incredibly useful, excessive screen time is a habit we need to curb, not just for our health, but also for our children’s sake.
Do you ever find yourself mindlessly scrolling through your phone while your child is trying to talk to you? I’ve been there too. But it sends the message that our screens are more interesting than their thoughts and feelings.
By limiting our screen time and being more present, we’re showing our children that real-world interactions are more valuable than virtual ones.
Plus, it’s an opportunity to set a healthy digital diet for them and install habits that will protect their mental and physical health in the long run!
5) Overcommitting
In my quest to be the perfect parent, I found myself saying ‘yes’ to everything. PTA meetings, work commitments, social events – you name it, I was there. But in doing so, I stretched myself too thin and burned out.
That’s when I realized that I was teaching my kids to overcommit too. I was inadvertently showing them that it’s okay to sacrifice their wellbeing to meet every demand or request.
So, I decided to make a change. I started prioritizing, saying ‘no’ when needed, and protecting my time and energy. It wasn’t easy, but it was necessary.
6) Always being the fixer
As parents, it’s instinctive to want to solve our children’s problems.
But sometimes, always being the fixer can do more harm than good.
When we step in to solve every issue, we rob our children of the opportunity to learn problem-solving skills. We deny them the chance to experience failure and resilience, both of which are crucial for their personal growth.
Instead, let’s guide them, support them, but also allow them the space to figure things out on their own. It might be tough to watch them struggle, but remember – it’s through these struggles that they learn and grow.
7) Being overly critical
Nobody’s perfect, and yet, sometimes we expect perfection from ourselves and our children.
When we constantly criticize our children’s efforts or their behavior, we risk damaging their self-esteem and confidence.
We may think we’re helping them improve, but what we’re really doing is creating a fear of failure and a belief that they’re never good enough.
It’s important to provide constructive feedback, as mentioned in an article entry from the Big Life Journal, but it’s equally crucial to balance it with praise and encouragement.
Celebrate their achievements, no matter how small, and let them know it’s okay to make mistakes.
8) Neglecting self-care
The most important lesson we can teach our children is the importance of self-care. If we’re constantly putting others’ needs before our own, neglecting our health, and running on empty, we’re setting a dangerous precedent.
Our children need to see us taking care of our physical, mental, and emotional health. They need to know that self-care isn’t selfish – it’s necessary.
It’s not just about us – it’s about teaching our children to value and take care of themselves too.
Stepping into consciousness
Habits shape who we are and how we parent, but the good news is they can be changed.
Being a positive role model isn’t about being perfect; it’s about modeling real-life skills, healthy attitudes, and the values we want our kids to adopt.
It’s not just about telling them how to live—it’s showing them through our own actions.
By letting go of these 8 habits, we step into more mindful parenting, becoming better parents and people.
Ultimately, it’s about being someone our children can look up to, and that transformation begins with us!
What would Jesus say?
Unsure whether to move on from a failed marriage? Struggling with desire and feeling guilty for it? Wanting to live a life Jesus would be proud of?
Let Jesus tell you how to be a good Christian according to the teachings of the Bible.
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