If you really want to find true love one day, say goodbye to these 7 behaviors

Finding true love is something many of us long for, but getting there requires more than just good intentions.

Certain behaviors can hold you back from forming a meaningful, lasting relationship.

Whether it’s clinging to past hurts, being overly critical, or struggling with emotional vulnerability, these habits can sabotage your chances of finding the connection you seek.

If you’re serious about finding true love, it’s time to say goodbye to these toxic behaviors and make room for healthier, more fulfilling relationships.

1) Living in the past

Love is a journey that unfolds in the present moment. Yet, many of us are so entangled in past relationships and old hurts that we forget to fully experience the now.

Our past experiences can shape our thoughts, feelings and behaviors, often without us even realizing it.

We might find ourselves repeating the same patterns in different relationships, or unconsciously projecting past hurts onto new partners.

While it’s essential to learn from our past, it’s equally important to not let it dictate our present or future.

We need to consciously choose to release old wounds and outdated narratives that no longer serve us.

Letting go of living in the past is not about denying or suppressing your experiences, but rather about learning from them, integrating the lessons they taught you, and then moving forward with greater self-awareness and resilience.

This is a crucial step towards opening your heart to true love.

2) Seeking validation

We all have an inherent desire to be acknowledged and appreciated.

Yet, when this desire turns into a constant pursuit of external approval, it can become a significant obstacle on our path to finding genuine love.

When we seek validation from others, we’re essentially outsourcing our self-worth. We allow the opinions of others to determine how we feel about ourselves.

This can lead to a perpetual state of insecurity and dissatisfaction, as we constantly adapt our behaviors and choices to meet others’ expectations.

Instead, cultivate a strong sense of self-worth that comes from within.

Recognize that you are enough just as you are, without needing anyone else’s approval. When you truly love and respect yourself, you attract others who do the same.

3) Falling for the ‘perfect partner’ illusion

The notion of a ‘perfect partner’ is a romanticized ideal that many of us unconsciously hold.

We imagine this ideal person who checks all our boxes, meets all our expectations and effortlessly fits into our lives. But in reality, this pursuit of perfection often leads to disappointment and heartbreak.

Nobody is perfect – not ourselves, and certainly not our partners.

Embracing this truth allows us to enter relationships with more openness, acceptance, and realism.

It’s essential to distinguish between unrealistic expectations and non-negotiable values.

While it’s important to have standards and know what you want in a relationship, it’s equally important to stay open-minded and flexible.

4) Neglecting self-love

The journey to finding true love often begins within.

Yet, we frequently neglect this aspect, seeking love and validation externally, while ignoring the person who needs it most – ourselves.

Self-love and self-care is not about being self-centered or narcissistic. It’s about acknowledging our worth, embracing our flaws, and treating ourselves with kindness and respect.

It’s about setting healthy boundaries, prioritizing our well-being, and not compromising our values for the sake of others.

When we lack self-love, we tend to settle for relationships that are far from fulfilling.

We tolerate behaviors that we shouldn’t, out of fear of being alone or not being loved enough.

But when we truly love ourselves, we attract healthier relationships.

We communicate our needs more effectively, and we don’t settle for less than what we deserve.

Embrace self-love as an act of courage and liberation. It’s a powerful step towards attracting true love into your life.

5) Resisting vulnerability

In our society, vulnerability is often seen as a sign of weakness.

We’re encouraged to put on a brave face, to suppress our emotions, and to always appear strong and confident. But contrary to this widespread belief, vulnerability is not a flaw – it’s a strength.

Vulnerability is the gateway to authentic connection.

It’s about being open, genuine, and courageous enough to reveal our true selves – our hopes, fears, dreams, and insecurities. It’s about inviting others to see us as we truly are, without any pretenses or masks.

In a relationship context, resisting vulnerability can hinder intimacy and authenticity.

It can prevent us from fully expressing our feelings and needs, creating misunderstandings and disconnect.

Learning to embrace vulnerability can be a transformative experience.

It can lead to deeper connections, more meaningful relationships, and a greater sense of authenticity and self-acceptance.

6) Avoiding conflict

It’s a common belief that a happy, healthy relationship is one where conflict is minimal.

We often equate harmony with the absence of disagreements and misunderstandings. However, this perspective can be limiting.

Conflict is a natural part of any relationship. It arises from differences in perspectives, values, and preferences.

Avoiding conflict, or sweeping issues under the rug, can lead to resentment, disconnection, and unaddressed problems.

Instead of fearing conflict, view it as an opportunity for growth.

It’s a chance to understand your partner better, to express your feelings and needs, and to navigate challenges together.

Constructive conflict can strengthen your bond, improve communication, and foster mutual respect.

It’s about focusing on the issue at hand, rather than attacking each other’s character or bringing up past mistakes.

7) Ignoring your intuition

In our logical and data-driven world, we often neglect one of our most powerful guides – our intuition.

This subtle inner voice, this gut feeling, can be a surprisingly accurate indicator of what’s right for us.

In the context of love and relationships, ignoring our intuition can lead us to stay in relationships that don’t serve us, or overlook potential partners who might be a great fit. We might dismiss red flags or justify behaviors that make us uncomfortable.

Learning to trust and listen to our intuition can be a game-changer.

It’s about recognizing and honoring our feelings, even when they don’t seem to make sense.

It’s about being honest with ourselves about what feels right and what doesn’t.

In the end, you are the expert of your own life. Your intuition is a powerful ally in guiding you towards relationships that are fulfilling, authentic, and aligned with your personal values.

Final thoughts

While we often associate love with the exhilarating feeling of butterflies in our stomach and the warmth of affection, it’s also a profound journey of self-transformation.

Finding authentic love is about becoming an individual who is capable of fostering a deep, meaningful connection. It’s about nurturing a relationship with ourselves that mirrors the love we seek from others.

The behaviors we discussed are not just obstacles in our path to love, but also catalysts for personal growth and self-awareness. Letting them go is not merely about enhancing our romantic prospects, but it’s also about stepping into a more authentic, empowered version of ourselves.

Whether it’s embracing vulnerability, trusting our intuition, or saying goodbye to the image of a ‘perfect partner’, each step we take reshapes us.

It makes us more open to love, not just from others, but from within ourselves.

What would Jesus say?

Unsure whether to move on from a failed marriage? Struggling with desire and feeling guilty for it? Wanting to live a life Jesus would be proud of?

Let Jesus tell you how to be a good Christian according to the teachings of the Bible.

We brought Jesus back to life with the help of AI. Ask your toughest life questions, and Jesus will tell you exactly what to do.

Check it out here.

 

Isabella Chase

Isabella Chase

Isabella Chase, a New York City native, writes about the complexities of modern life and relationships. Her articles draw from her experiences navigating the vibrant and diverse social landscape of the city. Isabella’s insights are about finding harmony in the chaos and building strong, authentic connections in a fast-paced world.

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