If you recognize these 8 behaviors, you have a genuinely selfless person in your life

It’s one of those things that seems too good to be true:

There’s someone in your life who just keeps giving, never asking for anything in return.

You’ve watched them, you’ve tried to understand their motive, but it doesn’t add up. They’re not doing it for fame, not for recognition and certainly not because they’re being forced.

Sometimes it doesn’t even make sense.

You find yourself questioning if they are truly as selfless as they appear or if there’s some hidden agenda that you’re missing.

Here’s how to confirm that this person is genuinely selfless, even when it seems too extraordinary to believe.

1) They constantly put others before themselves

It’s one of the most telling signs, really.

This person in your life, they have this uncanny ability to push their own needs aside for the sake of others.

You’ve seen them do it countless times. Whether it’s giving up their seat for someone else, sacrificing their time to help a friend or even putting their own dreams on hold for the benefit of someone else.

Sometimes it’s not even that noticeable. They do it so naturally, so effortlessly that it seems like second nature to them.

But the truth is, not everyone is wired this way. This kind of selflessness is rare and precious. 

2) They never expect anything in return

You’ve probably noticed this too.

This person, they don’t just give, they give freely. There’s no expectation of a payback, no tallying of favors, no keeping score.

It was last winter when I really saw this trait shine through. My car had broken down in the dead of night, and without a second thought, they came to pick me up. Did I mention the fact that it was snowing heavily and they had to drive all the way across town?

But that’s not what struck me the most.

It was what happened afterwards. There was no mention of the incident, no hints for a favor in return. They moved on like it was just another day, like helping me out in the middle of a snowstorm was the most normal thing to do.

That’s when I realized: we’re talking about a different kind of person here. One who gives not because they have to or because they expect something in return, but because they genuinely want to. 

3) They find joy in the happiness of others

This reminds me of a quote by the famous writer, Leo Tolstoy: “All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”

You might wonder, what does this have to do with selflessness? Well, think about it.

The genuinely selfless person in your life doesn’t just help others, they find joy in it. They don’t just give, they relish in the happiness that their actions bring to others.

I’ve seen it happen many times. Their eyes light up when they see someone else happy because of something they did. Their smile broadens, their heart seems to swell.

It’s as if their happiness is tied to the happiness of others. And that is what Tolstoy meant. In happy families – or in this case, happy relationships – there is a shared joy, a mutual happiness that stems from selflessness.

So when you see someone who isn’t just content with their own happiness but finds joy in making others happy, know that you’ve got a genuinely selfless person by your side.

4) They are excellent listeners

There’s something about this person that you’ve probably noticed. They have an incredible ability to listen.

And I’m not talking about just nodding along while you speak. They truly listen, they understand, and they empathize.

This person in your life, they don’t interrupt or try to insert their own experiences while you’re talking. They give you their undivided attention. They make you feel heard and understood.

This is not just a sign of respect, but also a clear indicator of selflessness. Because listening takes effort, it takes patience and it takes putting oneself in somebody else’s shoes.

And if this person does that consistently, there’s a good chance that you’re dealing with someone genuinely selfless.

5) They’re always the first to lend a hand

You’ve probably seen it happen time and time again.

There’s a problem or a crisis, and who is the first one stepping up to help? This person. Without fail, they’re always the one offering their assistance, their time, their resources.

It’s like they have this innate sense of responsibility towards others. They see someone in need and their first instinct is to do something about it.

You might find them helping a neighbor with groceries, volunteering at a local charity or even just offering their jacket to someone who’s cold.

It’s not just about grand gestures or heroic acts. It’s the little things, the everyday acts of kindness that truly define a selfless person.

6) They never boast about their good deeds

Here’s something else noteworthy about this person.

You’ll rarely hear them talk about their acts of kindness or generosity. It’s not because they’re secretive, but because they don’t feel the need to broadcast their good deeds.

You see, a truly selfless person doesn’t help others for recognition or praise. They do it because it’s the right thing to do.

Sometimes you’ll only discover their good actions through other people, or by chance. You might wonder why they didn’t tell you about it.

But that’s just it. They don’t feel the need to. Their satisfaction comes not from external validation, but from the act of giving itself.

7) They always see the best in others

This is something that really stands out about this person.

No matter what, they always seem to see the best in people. They focus on their strengths, not their flaws. They see their potential, not their mistakes.

It’s like they have this unique ability to look past the surface, to see the heart and soul of a person.

You might find them defending someone who’s being criticized or standing up for someone who’s being treated unfairly. And they do this not because they’re naive or oblivious to people’s shortcomings but because they choose to believe in their goodness.

8) They always make time for you

This might be the most meaningful sign of all.

No matter how busy they are, this person always seems to make time for you. They’re there when you need them, ready to listen, to help, to support.

It’s not about having plenty of free time. It’s about making you a priority. It’s about showing you through their actions that they genuinely care about you.

You might find them dropping everything to be there for you in a crisis, or simply making time to catch up over a cup of coffee.

And this isn’t about grand gestures or significant sacrifices. It’s about being present, being available, and being there when it matters the most.

So when you find someone who consistently makes time for you, regardless of their own commitments or challenges, know that this is a true sign of selflessness. 

A final reflection

If you’ve been nodding along as you read these signs, it’s likely that there’s a genuinely selfless person in your life.

Having such a person by your side is indeed a blessing. But it’s also an opportunity. An opportunity to learn, to grow, to become more selfless ourselves.

Acknowledge them. Appreciate them. Let their actions inspire you. Because selflessness, like many virtues, is contagious.

But here’s an important note – don’t forget about your own needs in the process. As Anne Lamott wisely said, “You have to fill up your well in order to have something to give others.”

Balancing selflessness with self-care isn’t always easy. It takes practice and patience.

Begin with small steps. Start by mirroring their kindness, their empathy, their patience. But remember to treat yourself with the same compassion.

As you nurture this balance, you’ll find that the journey of selflessness isn’t just about giving. It’s also about growing – as a person, as a friend, as a human being.

So here’s to the selfless people in our lives, who inspire us to be better, kinder, and more giving. Here’s to the journey of becoming more like them.