If you recognize these 7 behaviors, your relationship is a lot healthier than you think

Ever find yourself questioning the health of your relationship? 

You’re not alone. 

Hollywood has taught us to expect grand gestures, intense passion, and picture-perfect moments, leaving us to wonder if our own relationships measure up. But here’s the thing—sometimes, a truly healthy relationship looks a little different than what we’re led to believe.

Today, we’re diving into seven behaviors that suggest your relationship is healthier than you might think.

Let’s see how many of these you spot in your own love story.

1) Open communication

Communication is the lifeblood of any relationship. This is well-acknowledged by experts like psychosocial rehabilitation specialist Kendra Cherry, who has noted that “Being able to talk openly and honestly with the people in your life allows you to share, learn, respond, and forge lasting bonds.”

In a healthy relationship, both partners feel comfortable expressing their feelings and thoughts without fear of judgment or retaliation. They are not afraid to discuss their fears, concerns, or hopes for the future. They know they won’t always agree, but they respect each other’s viewpoints.

This open and honest form of communication creates a safe space where both individuals can thrive. It fosters trust and mutual understanding – key ingredients for a strong, healthy relationship.

2) Healthy dependency

This is a big one. 

In any relationship, it’s natural to depend on each other to some extent. However, there’s a fine line between healthy dependency and codependency.

In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I explore this concept in detail. But in short, a healthy dependency is when you rely on your partner for support and companionship, but you’re still able to function independently.

This might mean turning to your partner for advice when you’re facing a difficult decision but still feeling confident to make the final call yourself. It could be sharing your daily ups and downs and leaning on them for emotional support without feeling like you can’t cope on your own. It’s knowing that while you value your partner’s presence, you also maintain your own sense of identity and self-worth.

On the other hand, codependency is when you feel like you can’t exist without your partner, and your happiness solely depends on them. This isn’t healthy for either person in the relationship.

3) Constructive conflicts

Here’s something that may surprise you—disagreements in your relationship can actually be a good sign!

Now, I’m not talking about constant bickering or hurtful arguments. I mean constructive conflicts where both partners express their differences respectfully and with the intention to understand and resolve.

No two people are the same, so differences are bound to crop up. However, how you handle these differences is what truly matters.

In fact, as psychotherapist Babita Spinelli has pointed out, “[Avoiding conflict] can lead to a breakdown of communication and impact healthy connections. When we avoid expressing our feelings, we’re ultimately creating emotional distance with our romantic partner.”

A healthy relationship doesn’t shy away from conflict; it uses it as a tool to strengthen the bond, clear misunderstandings, and grow together.

4) You don’t compare your relationship to others

It’s easy to fall into the comparison trap, especially with social media showcasing everyone’s “perfect” lives. But in a healthy relationship, you don’t spend time worrying about how you measure up to others.

Instead, you focus on what works for you and your partner, without getting caught up in what others are doing.

Every relationship is unique, with its own set of strengths and challenges. Healthy couples understand that their love story doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s. They don’t strive for a fairytale but instead appreciate the real, sometimes messy, connection they have.

When you stop comparing, you create more room for growth, intimacy, and genuine happiness—just the two of you.

5) Shared laughter

Laughter, in my opinion, is one of the most underrated relationship builders. Over the years, I’ve found that the couples who laugh together frequently, tend to have a certain spark that keeps their bond strong.

It’s not just about sharing a joke or watching a funny movie together. It’s about finding humor in everyday situations, sharing inside jokes, and not taking life too seriously all the time.

Laughter brings people closer. It creates shared memories and helps to build a relationship that’s full of joy and camaraderie.

6) Vulnerability

This one can be tough, especially in a world where we’re often encouraged to always appear strong and unshakeable.

But let’s be real here – vulnerability is crucial for a healthy relationship. As researcher and author Brené Brown so beautifully puts it, “Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity.”

Allowing yourself to be vulnerable means opening up about your fears, insecurities, and failures. It’s about showing your true self, warts and all, and trusting your partner to accept you as you are.

It’s not always easy. It takes courage to let down your guard and expose your softer side. But when both partners are willing to be vulnerable with each other, it builds a deep emotional connection that’s hard to break.

7) Mutual growth

In a healthy relationship, growth isn’t just individual—it’s something you do together. That doesn’t mean you’re changing who you are for each other; instead, you’re evolving as people, side by side, supporting each other’s journeys.

Healthy couples encourage each other to pursue passions, work on self-improvement, and become better versions of themselves. They inspire each other to learn, adapt, and sometimes step out of their comfort zones, knowing that this growth benefits not just the individual, but the relationship as a whole.

Sound familiar?

Good for you! When you and your partner are growing together, it’s a sign that you’re not just surviving—you’re thriving as a team.

Conclusion

No relationship is perfect.

We all have our ups and downs, our strengths and weaknesses. But if you recognize these behaviors in your relationship, you’re definitely on the right track.

And for those moments when things get challenging, remember that it’s okay to seek help. My book, “Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship”, might be a useful resource for you.

Here’s to celebrating the health of your relationship and continuing on this journey of love and growth together!

What would Jesus say?

Unsure whether to move on from a failed marriage? Struggling with desire and feeling guilty for it? Wanting to live a life Jesus would be proud of?

Let Jesus tell you how to be a good Christian according to the teachings of the Bible.

We brought Jesus back to life with the help of AI. Ask your toughest life questions, and Jesus will tell you exactly what to do.

Check it out here.

 

Tina Fey

Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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