We’ve all crossed paths with that one person who just can’t seem to look beyond their own nose. It’s like they live in a world where only they exist. They’re self-absorbed, my friend.
And there’s a difference between someone who just loves themselves a little too much and a truly self-absorbed person. It’s not about confidence, it’s about their inability to see beyond themselves.
If you’re suspecting you’re dealing with a very self-absorbed person, there are some tell-tale behaviors that can confirm your doubts.
Here are 7 key behaviors to watch out for.
Once you spot them, you’ll know exactly who you’re dealing with.
1) They dominate conversations
We all know that one person who can talk about themselves for hours on end. It’s like they’re giving a monologue instead of having a dialogue.
These are the individuals who will turn any topic or conversation around to focus on themselves.
They’re the star of their own show, and they want you to be an audience member, not a co-star.
Every conversation is an opportunity for them to share their achievements, experiences, or thoughts – regardless of the relevance to the topic at hand.
This is a classic behavior of self-absorbed individuals. It’s not that they don’t care about others, but their world revolves around them and they struggle to see beyond that.
If you see someone constantly flipping the conversation back to themselves, you might just be dealing with a very self-absorbed person.
2) Lack of empathy
I’ll never forget this one time with a friend of mine. We were sitting in a coffee shop, and I was going through a really tough time.
I began to share my struggles, hoping to find some solace or at least a sympathetic ear.
Instead of offering comfort or even just listening, he interrupted me midway to talk about his new car.
It was as if my problems didn’t matter at all. It struck me then, that he lacked the basic empathy that’s so fundamental to human relationships.
Self-absorbed individuals often have a hard time showing genuine empathy because they are so wrapped up in their own world.
They struggle to put themselves in someone else’s shoes, making it difficult for them to understand others’ feelings or problems.
If someone consistently fails to show empathy towards you or others, it’s likely you’re dealing with a self-absorbed person.
3) They crave attention and admiration
Self-absorbed individuals often have a strong need for attention and admiration.
They want to be seen, heard, and most importantly, admired. To them, others’ admiration validates their self-worth.
Interestingly, this trait is not just limited to humans.
Peacocks, for instance, are famous for their extravagant displays of feathers to attract attention and admiration from potential mates.
In humans, this could manifest as exaggerated stories, flexing wealth or achievements, or constantly seeking compliments.
If you notice someone in your life who always seems to be in the spotlight or tries to steal it when they’re not, they could be very self-absorbed.
4) They’re rarely interested in others
Ever been in a situation where you’re excitedly talking about your plans or dreams, only to be met with a lackluster response? It can be quite disheartening.
A self-absorbed person often shows little to no interest in others’ lives, experiences, or feelings.
It’s not because they’re inherently bad people. It’s just that their world is centered around them, and they struggle to extend their interest beyond themselves.
They may listen to your stories, but often it’s without genuine interest or engagement. They might even cut you off to bring the conversation back to themselves.
Whenever there’s someone in your life who rarely asks about you or shows genuine interest in your experiences, you might be dealing with a self-absorbed person.
5) Unwillingness to accept criticism
A few years back, I worked on a team project with someone who just couldn’t accept any form of criticism.
Every time someone offered constructive feedback, she would get defensive and start pointing fingers at others.
It was incredibly challenging and frustrating to work with her.
Self-absorbed individuals often have a hard time accepting criticism. Even constructive, well-meaning feedback can be seen as a personal attack.
This is because their self-image is often inflated and fragile. Any hint of criticism threatens this image they’ve built up.
If ever you notice someone who reacts poorly to criticism or always deflects blame, chances are you’re dealing with a self-absorbed person.
6) They have a sense of entitlement
Self-absorbed individuals often carry a strong sense of entitlement. They believe they deserve special treatment and have a right to certain privileges that others don’t.
This can manifest in various ways, from expecting preferential treatment at work, to believing they’re above common courtesy in social situations.
This sense of entitlement stems from their inflated self-perception. In their eyes, they’re not being unreasonable; they’re simply getting what they rightfully deserve.
If you encounter someone who consistently displays an attitude of entitlement, you might be dealing with a very self-absorbed person.
7) They’re often unaware of their behavior
Perhaps the most important thing to understand about self-absorbed individuals is that they’re often completely unaware of their behavior.
They don’t realize that their actions or attitudes may be off-putting or hurtful to others. In their mind, they’re just living their life the best way they know how.
This lack of self-awareness makes it difficult for them to see the need for change. It’s why pointing out their behavior can lead to defensiveness or denial.
If you’re dealing with someone who displays all the previous behaviors and seems oblivious to it, you’re likely dealing with a very self-absorbed person.
A final thought: Compassion over judgement
It’s easy to label self-absorbed individuals as egotistical or narcissistic, but it’s essential to remember that we’re all products of our experiences, upbringing, and sometimes, our psychological makeup.
Interestingly, studies have suggested that narcissistic traits can sometimes be a defense mechanism against deep-seated insecurities or past traumas.
This doesn’t excuse their behavior, but it provides a different perspective, one that fosters understanding over judgement.
Encountering a self-absorbed person can be frustrating, but remember that everyone has their struggles.
Instead of dismissing them outright, consider offering empathy, patience and understanding.
It may not change their behavior, but it can change the way you perceive and handle the situation.
After all, as Plato famously said: “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”
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