If you recognize these 8 signs, you’re dealing with a man who has almost zero self-control

Have you ever found yourself constantly frustrated by someone’s impulsive behavior, as if they just can’t seem to rein themselves in?

Maybe it’s a pattern you’ve started to notice in someone you’re dating or even in someone close to you.

I’ve been there too—watching a grown man act like a child, unable to control his emotions, his actions, or even his words.

It’s frustrating, exhausting, and leaves you wondering if things will ever change.

If you’re starting to see red flags and feeling like you’re walking on eggshells, it might be time to ask yourself: is this really what I deserve?

Let’s dive into the eight telltale signs that he’s lacking the self-control you need for a healthy relationship.

1) Explosive reactions

Self-control is all about managing how you respond to situations.

So, when a man reacts explosively to minor inconveniences, it’s safe to say he lacks self-control.

It doesn’t matter if it’s a spilled coffee or a missed bus, if he’s quick to anger and overreacts, that’s a sign.

But that’s not all. His reactions aren’t just big, they’re also unpredictable. He can be calm one moment and then suddenly explode the next.

And the worst part? These outbursts are rarely followed by any form of remorse or self-reflection.

If you’re dealing with someone like this, you’re dealing with a man who has almost zero self-control.

Kind of a red flag, isn’t it?

2) Impulsive spending

A friend of mine, let’s call him John, was a classic example of a man with little self-control.

One of the clearest signs? His impulsive spending habits.

John would get his paycheck and within a few days, he’d already spent it all.

He’d buy all sorts of unnecessary things – the latest gadgets, designer clothes, fancy meals – without any thought about budget or savings.

The problem wasn’t that he was indulging himself. We all deserve to treat ourselves from time to time.

The problem was that he couldn’t resist the impulse to buy, even when he knew he couldn’t afford it.

Research shows a clear link between poor self-control and impulsive buying urges.

So yes, if you notice someone with a similar pattern of impulsive spending, chances are you’re dealing with someone who struggles with self-control.

3) Inability to delay gratification

One of the most famous psychological experiments in history was the “Marshmallow Test.”

Young children were given a marshmallow and told that if they could wait for 15 minutes without eating it, they would get a second one.

Guess what? The kids who couldn’t wait were found to have more behavioral problems and lower academic performance later in life. Why? Because they lacked self-control.

Unfortunately, many adults never overcome this inability to delay gratification.

You’ll see it in the way they eat that extra slice of pizza even if they’re already full.

Or they’d watch another episode instead of going to bed. Or they’d make an expensive purchase that they actually can’t afford.

Seemingly harmless behaviors like this are a clear sign that they struggle with self-control and discipline. 

4) Frequent mood swings

Frequent mood swings can be a major red flag when it comes to self-control.

One moment he’s cheerful and upbeat, and the next, he’s moody or withdrawn for reasons that seem minor or unclear.

If you feel like you’re constantly tiptoeing around his emotions, it’s likely that his inability to regulate his moods is affecting your relationship.

It’s tough to build stability with someone whose emotional state is unpredictable.

You see, managing emotions is a fundamental part of self-control.

A man who can’t keep his emotions in check often lets them dictate his behavior, leading to outbursts, frustration, or withdrawal.

This lack of emotional regulation isn’t just tiring—it creates a relationship where you’re always bracing for the next shift, never quite knowing what’s coming next.

Stability comes from emotional control, and without it, everything can feel unsteady.

5) Inability to stick to commitments

This one really resonates with me, as I’ve dealt with people who would eagerly make plans only to cancel at the last minute, leaving me hanging.

 It’s frustrating and makes you feel like their word doesn’t mean much.

When someone can’t follow through on even the simplest promises, it’s not just about the plans they’re breaking—it’s about the deeper pattern of unreliability.

If a man can’t stick to his commitments, it’s a strong indicator that he’s easily swayed by the pull of something more exciting or convenient in the moment. 

It’s like he’s unable to resist temptation, even if it means disappointing the people around him.

I’ve always believed that when someone makes a commitment, they should make every effort to follow through.

It shows respect, maturity, and self-discipline—qualities that are crucial in any relationship. If he’s constantly flaking, it’s a red flag that his self-control is lacking.

6) Overindulgence in ‘healthy’ activities

You might think spending hours at the gym or obsessively eating clean are signs of discipline.

But sometimes, it’s actually the opposite.

When a man takes a good habit to an extreme, it can be a sign of lack of self-control.

He’s unable to find a balance and instead, succumbs to the compulsion of doing too much of a ‘good thing’.

So whether it’s excessive exercise, overly strict diets, or even overworking, these can all be signs of a man with almost zero self-control. It’s all about balance, after all.

7) Consistent lack of patience

We all have moments when we lose our patience, but for some, it’s more of a constant state than a fleeting moment.

If a man is consistently impatient – whether it’s in traffic, waiting in line, or even in conversations – it’s a clear sign that he struggles with self-control.

He can’t keep his cool and wait, instead he wants everything right now.

This lack of patience often spills over into other aspects of life, leading to hasty decisions and impulsive actions.

So if you’re dealing with a man who’s always in a rush, you’re likely dealing with someone who has very little self-control.

8) Neglect of personal relationships

Neglecting personal relationships is a major sign that a man lacks self-control.

When someone is constantly chasing their own impulses, they often end up neglecting the people closest to them.

Whether it’s choosing a spontaneous night out with friends over a promise made to you or prioritizing personal pleasure over shared responsibilities, this behavior speaks volumes about where their priorities lie—and it’s usually not with the relationship.

The truth is, maintaining healthy, respectful relationships takes effort, and that requires self-control.

If he’s consistently putting his own desires above the needs of the relationship, it shows a disregard for the commitments and emotional bonds that should matter.

People who can’t resist doing what feels good in the moment, no matter who it hurts, often struggle to build lasting connections.

A person’s ability to invest in their relationships is a strong reflection of their emotional maturity and self-control.

If he’s neglecting you now, it’s a sign that things aren’t likely to improve without some serious self-reflection.

Final thoughts

If you’ve made it this far, you’ll have realized that dealing with someone who lacks self-control can be challenging.

But it’s important to remember that self-control is not set in stone.

It’s a skill, and like any skill, it can be learned and improved with practice and patience.

So if you recognize these signs in someone, know that there’s hope.

Change is possible. And on the flip side, if you recognize these signs in yourself, take heart.

You have the power to improve your self-control and ultimately, your relationships and life.

It starts with awareness, and you’ve already taken that first step.