If you want a better relationship with your parents, say goodbye to these 8 behaviors

Is your relationship with your parents not as close as you’d like it to be? Perhaps it’s been strained for a while and you’re not sure how to fix it.

It’s frustrating when you long for a closer connection but can’t figure out what’s getting in the way.

But here’s something you may not have considered….

Our behaviors can sometimes, without realizing it, create barriers that keep us from having a close, supportive relationship with our parents.

In this article, we’ll explore eight behaviors that might be to blame for your relationship difficulties. By saying goodbye to these behaviors, you’ll open the door to deeper understanding, communication, and connection with your folks.

1) Letting emotions rule

Emotions, they’re wild.

One minute you’re calm and composed, and the next, you’re caught in a whirlwind of anger, frustration, or sadness. There’s no telling when they’ll strike, and when they do, it can be hard to control them.

But here’s the kicker – if you’re trying to better your relationship with your parents, letting your emotions take the driver’s seat might do more harm than good.

You see, parents have a knack for picking up on your feelings. They can sense when you’re upset, stressed or annoyed. And if those emotions are directed at them, it strains the relationship.

So next time you’re caught in an emotional storm, remember: breathe in, breathe out. Letting your emotions pass before reacting can make a world of difference.

2) Ignoring their advice

Growing up, my parents were never short of advice.

“Study hard”, “Clean your room”, “Don’t hang out with the wrong crowd” – you name it! And I, like many rebellious teenagers, would roll my eyes and ignore them.

I thought I knew better. I thought they were just trying to control me. But, boy was I wrong.

One time, they warned me about hanging out with a particular group of friends who were notorious for getting into trouble.

Did I listen?

No. And guess what happened?

We got caught up in some mess and I ended up grounded for a month.

That’s when it hit me – my parents’ advice, as annoying as it may seem, comes from a place of love and concern. They’ve been around the block more times than I have and they want to prevent me from making the same mistakes they did.

It’s not always easy to swallow your pride and listen to them, but it’s a crucial step towards building a better relationship with your parents

3) Avoiding communication

Ever heard of the term ‘silent treatment’? It’s a common tactic people use when they’re upset or angry.

But here’s something you might not know – psychologists consider it a form of emotional abuse.

Many of us, me included, are guilty of giving our parents the silent treatment when things don’t go our way. We shut them out, we stop talking, we avoid any form of communication.

But here’s the thing – this behavior doesn’t solve anything. In fact, it only creates more distance and tension between you and your parents.

If you want to improve your relationship, communication is key. Talk to them about your day, your feelings, your worries.

Let them in. It may feel uncomfortable at first, but with time, it can lead to a stronger bond and better understanding between you and your parents.

4) Not showing gratitude

We often take our parents for granted. We forget all the things they do for us – the meals they cook, the sacrifices they make, the love they provide.

It’s easy to overlook these gestures when they’re a part of your everyday life.

But think about it – wouldn’t you feel unappreciated if your efforts were constantly overlooked?

Showing gratitude towards your parents can drastically improve your relationship with them. A simple ‘thank you’, a hug, or even a small note of appreciation can make them feel recognized and loved.

It’s a small step, but it’s one that can make a big difference.

So next time your mom makes your favorite meal or your dad helps you with something, remember to express your gratitude. They’ll appreciate it more than you know.

5) Holding onto past mistakes

I’m going to be honest here, I have a habit of holding onto things. Especially when it comes to past mistakes – mine and others’. And my parents weren’t exempt from this.

I used to bring up old arguments, past mistakes – things that should’ve been left in the past. I thought it was justified, but all it did was create a cycle of negativity.

I realized that if I wanted a better relationship with my parents, I had to let go.

I had to accept that they, like me, are human and they make mistakes. And more importantly, I had to give them the opportunity to learn and grow from those mistakes.

It was tough, but it made our relationship healthier and more forgiving. So if you’re holding onto past mistakes, my advice is – let them go. It’s not easy, but it’s definitely worth it.

6) Always agreeing with them

You’d think that agreeing with your parents all the time would make your relationship with them better, right?

Wrong.

Here’s the thing – healthy relationships are built on honesty, not compliance. It’s perfectly okay to have different opinions from your parents. In fact, it’s encouraged.

You see, when you voice your differing opinion respectfully, it shows that you’re maturing and developing your own identity. It encourages open dialogue and fosters mutual respect.

So don’t be afraid to disagree with your parents every now and then. As long as it’s done respectfully, it could actually help improve your relationship with them.

7) Over-relying on them

Our parents are our safety nets. They’re there to catch us when we fall and guide us when we lose our way. But there’s a fine line between relying on them and over-relying on them.

Over-reliance can become a burden, causing stress and strain in your relationship with your parents. It can also hinder your growth as an independent individual.

So, start taking responsibility for your actions. Learn to solve your own problems.

Sure, it’s okay to ask for help when you’re truly stuck, but don’t make it a habit to run to them for every little thing.

8) Not spending quality time with them

In this fast-paced world, it’s easy to get caught up in our own lives and forget about spending quality time with our parents.

But here’s the most important thing you should know – quality time is key to building a better relationship with them.

It’s not about the quantity, it’s about the quality. It could be as simple as:

  • Having dinner together
  • Watching a movie
  • Going for a walk

These moments provide opportunities for meaningful conversations and create memories that last a lifetime.

Your parents won’t be around forever. So make the most of the time you have with them. You’ll cherish these moments in the years to come.

Final thoughts

Improving your relationship with your parents starts with letting go of the behaviors that create distance and misunderstanding.

It’s not always easy to recognize these patterns, especially when they’ve become ingrained over time, but taking the step to change them can lead to a deeper, more fulfilling connection.

Building a better relationship with your parents isn’t about being perfect or doing everything right. It’s about understanding, patience, and a willingness to grow.

Remember, the parent-child relationship is unique and precious, and it’s one of the few relationships that lasts a lifetime. So take the time to nurture it.

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Lucas Graham

Lucas Graham

Lucas Graham, based in Auckland, writes about the psychology behind everyday decisions and life choices. His perspective is grounded in the belief that understanding oneself is the key to better decision-making. Lucas’s articles are a mix of personal anecdotes and observations, offering readers relatable and down-to-earth advice.

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