If you want lasting happiness, say goodbye to these 9 toxic habits

There’s a clear distinction between momentary satisfaction and lasting happiness.

The difference lies in habits. Holding onto toxic habits might provide an immediate sense of relief, but it’s a surefire way to sabotage your long-term joy.

As the founder of Hack Spirit and a mindfulness enthusiast, I’m Lachlan Brown, and I’m here to guide you towards lasting happiness.

To do that, there are nine toxic habits you need to bid farewell. And trust me, once you do, you’ll find that enduring happiness isn’t as elusive as it seems.

Let’s dive in.

1. Comparing yourself to others

One of the most toxic habits that many of us harbor? Comparison.

We’re all guilty of it. Scrolling through social media feeds, pouring over the achievements and seemingly perfect lives of others, and feeling a pang of inadequacy in our hearts.

But here’s the truth: comparison is the thief of joy. It’s a habit that only serves to diminish your own self-worth and happiness.

In fact, constant comparison with others can lead to feelings of insecurity, anxiety, and even depression.

What should you do instead? Focus on your own journey. Celebrate your own victories, no matter how small they may seem. And remember, the only person you need to be better than is the person you were yesterday.

2. Avoiding discomfort

Another toxic habit I’ve noticed is the avoidance of discomfort. It’s something I’ve personally struggled with, too.

A few years back, I found myself in a job that was comfortable but unfulfilling. I was not growing, not learning, and most importantly, I was not happy. But I clung onto it because it was comfortable and safe.

Eventually, I realized that growth and happiness often come from stepping out of your comfort zone. I quit that job and dove headfirst into starting Hack Spirit. It was terrifying, but it was also exhilarating and deeply rewarding.

Avoiding discomfort might seem like a defense mechanism, but it’s a trap. It keeps you stuck in the same place, preventing you from reaching your true potential.

In the words of psychologist Susan David, “Discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life.”

3. Clinging to your ego

Another toxic habit that can rob you of lasting happiness is clinging to your ego.

Ego, in this context, doesn’t just mean arrogance or vanity. Rather, it refers to the idea of a self that is separate, superior, or different from others. It’s that part of us that needs to be right all the time, that can’t stand criticism, that constantly seeks validation.

Allow me to share an insight from my own book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego. In it, I delve into Buddhist teachings on egolessness and how shedding our ego can lead to a richer, more fulfilling life.

When we free ourselves from the bondage of our ego, we become open to new experiences, perspectives, and relationships. We become more resilient, more compassionate, and ultimately, happier.

In the wise words of psychologist Abraham Maslow, “The great lesson…is that the sacred is in the ordinary, that it is to be found in one’s daily life, in one’s neighbors, friends, and family, in one’s backyard.”

Let go of your ego and embrace the sacred in the ordinary.

4. Neglecting self-care

A toxic habit that’s surprisingly common is neglecting self-care.

Many of us are programmed to prioritize work, obligations, and others over ourselves. We often feel guilty about taking time for self-care, viewing it as indulgence rather than necessity. But this couldn’t be further from the truth.

Psychologists emphasize that self-care is crucial for our physical, emotional, and mental well-being. It helps reduce stress, prevent burnout, and promote a healthier mindset.

Self-care doesn’t have to be elaborate or time-consuming. It can be as simple as spending 10 minutes each day meditating, taking a short walk in nature, or even savoring a cup of tea.

Remember: You can’t pour from an empty cup. Make time for self-care. 

5. Chasing perfection

This next toxic habit might surprise you: chasing perfection.

On the surface, striving for perfection might seem like a noble pursuit. But in reality, it’s a recipe for unhappiness.

Why? Because perfection is an unattainable standard. When we chase perfection, we set ourselves up for constant disappointment and frustration.

Instead of obsessing over perfection, aim for progress. Embrace your flaws and mistakes—they’re a part of being human, and they’re how we learn and grow.

In the words of renowned psychologist Carl Jung: “The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely.” But once you do, you’ll find that it’s also the most liberating thing. 

6. Living in the past or future

Another toxic habit that hampers our happiness is living in the past or future.

When we dwell on past regrets or anxieties about the future, we rob ourselves of the joy of the present moment.

This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t learn from our past or plan for our future. But it’s important to do so without letting these thoughts consume us.

Mindfulness, the practice of being fully present and engaged in the current moment, is a powerful way to break this habit. It allows us to experience life as it unfolds, rather than getting lost in ‘what was’ or ‘what could be’.

As famed psychologist Eckhart Tolle said, “Realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have. Make the NOW the primary focus of your life.”

7. Ignoring negative emotions

We often have a habit of pushing away negative emotions. We try to suppress our feelings of sadness, anger, or fear, believing that they’re bad or that they make us weak.

But ignoring these emotions doesn’t make them disappear. Instead, they can resurface in unhealthy ways and cause us more harm in the long run.

It’s important to allow ourselves to feel and process these emotions. It’s okay to feel sad, angry, or scared. These feelings are a part of the human experience, and acknowledging them is the first step towards dealing with them in a healthy way.

8. Overcommitting yourself

A common toxic habit that many of us struggle with is overcommitting ourselves. We often say ‘yes’ to every opportunity, task, or request that comes our way, thinking that we’re being helpful or productive.

But spreading ourselves too thin can lead to stress, burnout, and a decrease in the quality of our work. It also leaves us with little to no time for relaxation, self-care, or the things we truly enjoy.

Remember, it’s okay to say ‘no’. Setting boundaries and prioritizing your time and energy is not selfish—it’s necessary for your mental health and overall happiness.

As psychologist and author Dr. Brené Brown puts it, “Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.”

Final Thoughts: It’s all about habits

The quest for lasting happiness often boils down to our habits. The things we do, think, and say on a daily basis have a profound impact on our overall contentment.

Letting go of these nine toxic habits won’t happen overnight. It’s a process that requires conscious effort and consistent practice. But the reward—a life filled with lasting happiness—is worth every bit of the struggle.

In my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego, I delve deeper into how our habits shape our lives and how, by embracing certain Buddhist teachings, we can cultivate habits that lead to long-lasting happiness.

Happiness is not a destination—it’s a journey. It’s not about reaching a state of perpetual bliss, but rather about cultivating a mindset and lifestyle that allows us to experience joy amidst the ups and downs of life.

As you embark on this journey of letting go and cultivating happiness, bear in mind the words of psychologist Carl Rogers: “The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction not a destination.”

Take this knowledge, put it into practice, and set your direction towards lasting happiness.