If you want to be a better role model to your kids, say goodbye to these 8 behaviors

Being a role model for your kids is one of the most important aspects of parenting.

Children often learn more from what we do than what we say, which makes our habits and behaviors incredibly influential.

Nonetheless, we often forget that our kids are always watching us, absorbing our habits, imitating our behavior—and, let’s admit it, we all have certain behaviors that we would rather not pass on to them.

If you want to set a strong example and inspire your children to be their best selves, it’s time to say goodbye to these eight behaviors that could unintentionally send the wrong message.

1) Overreacting

We’re all human and we all have moments when our emotions get the best of us.

But as a parent, it’s crucial to keep our reactions in check, especially when our kids are watching.

Overreacting to situations can send the wrong message to your kids as it teaches them that it’s okay to lose control when things don’t go their way.

Remember, your kids are observing how you handle different situations and they will mirror your actions—strive to maintain your composure and respond calmly, even when things aren’t going as planned.

This way, you’re teaching them a valuable life lesson on emotional resilience and self-control.

Not only will this make you a better role model, but it will also equip them with the skills they need to handle life’s ups and downs.

2) Neglecting self-care

I’ll admit it, I used to think that taking care of myself equated to being selfish—that was until I realized that neglecting my own needs was not only affecting me but also my kids.

Our primary concern, as parents, is often our children’s wellbeing, but it’s easy to forget that they’re also looking to us as examples of how to take care of themselves.

One day, my daughter asked me why I always looked so tired; it hit me then that, by not prioritizing my own health and wellbeing, I was teaching her that self-care isn’t important.

That’s when I decided things had to change: Now, I make sure to carve out time for exercise, eat healthy meals and prioritize sleep.

My fellow parent, this is your sign to start prioritizing your wellbeing and say goodbye to neglecting self-care.

3) Being overly critical

We often think that by pointing out our kids’ mistakes, we’re helping them to improve.

However, according to research, kids who are constantly criticized can develop self-esteem issues later in life.

Being overly critical can also lead them to develop a fear of failure, and we all know that failure is an integral part of growth and development.

It’s important to guide and correct your kids, but there’s a difference between constructive criticism and being overly negative.

Word of advice: Try highlighting what they did right and suggest ways they can improve.

Let’s say goodbye to being overly critical and instead foster an environment where our kids feel safe to make mistakes and learn from them.

4) Ignoring your mistakes

Nobody’s perfect because we all make mistakes—and that’s okay!

What’s not okay is ignoring or denying them—especially in front of your kids.

Acknowledging our mistakes shows them that it’s normal to make errors and that they’re opportunities for learning and growth.

If we pretend that we never make mistakes, our kids might develop unrealistic expectations of perfection for themselves.

On the other hand, if we own up to our mistakes—including apologizing (when necessary) and working on correcting them—we teach our kids a valuable lesson in responsibility and humility.

5) Not keeping your promises

Promises are not meant to be broken, especially when they’re made to our little ones.

Their world is simpler than ours, and a broken promise can feel like a major betrayal to them.

When we make a promise to our kids, we give them something to look forward to—but, when we don’t follow through, it shakes their trust in us.

They say our actions speak louder than words, and so there’s no better way to teach honesty and reliability than by keeping our promises.

For our kids to grow into trustworthy individuals, we need to learn to lead by example.

6) Not listening actively

For a long time, I was guilty of this: With a million things on my to-do list, I would often find myself distracted while my kids were talking to me—I’d nod and respond, but not really hear what they were saying.

I soon realized that by not actively listening, I was missing out on important details about their lives.

More significantly, I was sending the message that their thoughts and feelings weren’t important enough to have my full attention.

Active listening involves fully focusing on the speaker, showing interest, and responding appropriately—it’s a way of saying, “I value what you have to say.”

Now, no matter how busy I am, I make it a point to stop what I’m doing and truly listen when my kids are talking to me.

Start listening actively to your children and show them how much their voice truly matters.

7) Being inconsistent

Consistency is key when it comes to parenting; our kids need to know that the rules and expectations are the same today as they were yesterday.

Inconsistency with rules or discipline can be confusing for kids as they may start to test boundaries and push limits just to see where the lines are drawn.

Moreover, inconsistency can also undermine your authority as a parent—if you say one thing and do another, your kids might start questioning your credibility.

Now that you know this, strive to be steady in your rules and expectations to create a sense of security and trust in your relationship with your kids.

8) Valuing achievements over effort

In our results-driven society, it’s easy to focus more on the outcome rather than the journey—but this approach can do more harm than good.

When we value achievements over effort, we risk raising kids who are scared of failure and obsessed with perfection, lead to stress, anxiety, and a lack of self-confidence.

Let’s prioritize effort over results and celebrate the hard work, the commitment, and the resilience that our kids show in their journey towards a goal.

Final thoughts: It’s a journey

Parenting is a never-ending journey, full of ups, downs, twists, and turns. While it can be challenging to say goodbye to ingrained behaviors, it’s a necessary step if we want to be better role models for our kids.

Remember, our actions often speak louder than words—our kids are always watching, learning from the behaviors we model every day.

Parenting is about striving to be better than we were yesterday so, as we navigate this journey, let’s be kind to ourselves.

By letting go of unhelpful behaviors, we not only guide our kids but also grow into better individuals ourselves.

Every step we take toward becoming better role models helps shape a brighter future for our children.