If you want to be a more effective communicator, say goodbye to these 8 behaviors

Do conversations leave you feeling like no one understands you?

The problem might not just be what you said — but how you said it. Communication isn’t just about talking; it’s about making sure you’re connecting with the other person.

When you don’t engage or listen well, messages can get lost.

Non-verbal cues like body language and tone can change how your words are received. If you’re not paying attention to those, it might lead to misunderstandings or frustration.

Good communication also means listening.

This means really hearing the other person, not just planning what to say next. It shows you value their thoughts, making the conversation more meaningful.

If you’re interested in learning how to communicate more effectively, say goodbye to the following behaviors.

1) Too much jargon

Perhaps the most common culprit in poor communication is the excessive use of jargon.

Jargon, or industry-specific language, can confuse and alienate those who aren’t familiar with it.

It may make you feel smart, but it’s not doing you any favors when it comes to connecting with others. After all, who wants to talk with people who make them feel stupid?

Sure, it can be tempting to use all those big words and acronyms you’ve learned. But if you truly want to be understood, it might be time to simplify your language.

Instead of impressing your audience with complex terms, try explaining concepts in simple, everyday language. Your message will be clearer and more accessible to everyone.

2) Not listening

A major roadblock in communication, one that I’ve personally experienced, is not listening.

I remember being in a meeting once, eager to share my thoughts and ideas. I was so caught up in what I wanted to say next that I barely paid attention to what others were saying. Not surprisingly, my input missed the mark because it wasn’t responsive to the ongoing discussion.

Effective communication is a two-way street. It’s not just about expressing your thoughts but also about genuinely listening to others. This means absorbing what’s being said, asking for clarification when needed, and responding thoughtfully.

Learning from my own mistakes, I’ve realized that active listening is the key to understanding and being understood. So let’s wave goodbye to the habit of not listening if we want to communicate effectively.

3) Overloading with information

In an effort to be thorough, some people have a tendency to over-explain or provide too much information. This can lead to cognitive overload, a state where the listener’s brain is receiving more information than it can handle.

According to research by George Miller, a renowned cognitive psychologist, the average person can only hold about seven items in their short-term memory at a time. When we bombard others with too much information, we’re essentially asking their brains to do the impossible.

To be a more effective communicator, it’s essential to keep your messages concise and clear. Focus on the key points and avoid unnecessary details.

Less is often more when it comes to effective communication.

4) Lack of eye contact

Eye contact plays a significant role in effective communication. It shows that you’re engaged and paying attention. When you avoid eye contact, it can make you appear disinterested or even dishonest.

However, maintaining eye contact isn’t just about looking at someone. It’s about connecting with them on a deeper level, expressing empathy, and exuding confidence.

When you’re in the habit of looking away when you speak or listen, it’s time to break that habit. Practice maintaining a comfortable amount of eye contact in your conversations to enhance your communication skills.

5) Not showing empathy

Human connection is at the heart of effective communication. When we communicate, we don’t just exchange words, we exchange emotions and experiences.

One powerful way to foster this connection is by showing empathy. Empathy allows us to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s about putting yourself in someone else’s shoes and seeing the world from their perspective.

When empathy is missing from our communication, we risk coming across as cold or indifferent. We fail to connect on a deeper level, making our conversations feel hollow and insincere.

Why?

Because empathy makes you a better listener.

6) Hiding behind a mask

In my early days of public speaking, I used to put on a persona. I thought that to be taken seriously, I had to sound a certain way, use complicated words, and hide my true self behind a professional façade.

This not only made me feel inauthentic but also created a barrier between me and my audience. It was as if I was wearing a mask that hid my real self.

But with time, I realized that authenticity is key to effective communication. People connect with realness, not pretense. They appreciate seeing the human behind the words – flaws, vulnerabilities and all.

When we communicate authentically, we build trust and create a safe space for open and honest dialogue. So, let’s drop the mask and embrace our true selves when we communicate.

7) Being defensive

It’s natural to feel defensive when our ideas or beliefs are challenged. However, reacting defensively can hinder effective communication.

Defensiveness can create a barrier and lead to misunderstandings or conflicts. It can prevent us from truly listening to others and understanding their viewpoints.

Instead, try to approach these situations with an open mind. Welcome feedback and different perspectives as opportunities for growth and learning. Remember, it’s not about who’s right or wrong, but about understanding each other better.

If you want to be a more effective communicator, it’s time to say goodbye to defensive reactions.

8) Neglecting non-verbal cues

Effective communication goes beyond words.

Our body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice often speak louder than our words. They can either reinforce what we’re saying or send an entirely different message.

For instance, crossed arms can signal defensiveness, even when our words are saying otherwise. Similarly, a monotone voice can make us appear uninterested, regardless of what we’re saying.

By paying attention to our non-verbal cues and aligning them with our words, we can ensure our message is received as intended. This is the final and perhaps most crucial behavior to say goodbye to. It’s not just about what we say; it’s about how we say it.

The art of effective communication

Mastering communication is an art, and like any art, it takes practice and a willingness to break bad habits.

You may think that the key to being heard is having the best words or the sharpest ideas, but here’s the truth—how you deliver those ideas matters just as much, if not more.

If you’ve ever walked away from a conversation feeling misunderstood or frustrated, the problem might not just be what you said, but how you said it.

Communication isn’t just about talking; it’s about connection. It’s about how you engage, listen, and present yourself to others.