If you want to be less narcissistic as you get older, say goodbye to these 7 behaviors

No one wants to be labeled as narcissistic, yet it’s a trait that can sneak up on anyone if left unchecked.

The truth is, as we grow older, life has a way of reflecting our habits and behaviors back to us. And while confidence and self-assurance are important, they can sometimes tiptoe into self-absorption if we’re not careful.

The good news? It’s never too late to take a step back and evaluate how we show up in the world.

I’ll be honest—self-reflection isn’t always easy. It requires admitting that some of our actions might not align with the person we want to be.  But letting go of certain narcissistic tendencies can not only make you more approachable but also deepen your connections with others.

Let’s explore seven behaviors to leave behind if you want to grow into a more grounded, compassionate version of yourself.

1) Constant need for admiration

Narcissism often comes with an insatiable thirst for admiration.

As we grow older, it’s crucial to recognize this and actively work against it.

This doesn’t mean you should shun all forms of praise—it’s about understanding that your worth isn’t determined by external validation.

You see, the constant need for admiration can leave you feeling empty and unsatisfied.

More than that, it can create a toxic environment for those around you.

As we age, our focus should shift more towards personal development rather than the constant pursuit of adoration—learning to be content with who you are, not what others think of you.

Saying goodbye to the constant need for admiration is an excellent place to start as it’s a process and it takes time.

Be patient with yourself as you embark on this journey of self-improvement.

2) Lack of empathy

If there’s one behavior that’s the antithesis of narcissism, it’s empathy.

As I’ve grown older, I’ve realized that empathy is crucial for meaningful relationships and personal growth.

I remember a time when I would talk incessantly about my achievements, barely leaving room for others to share their stories.

It dawned on me that I was monopolizing conversations without truly understanding or caring about others’ feelings.

My journey towards being less narcissistic involved actively practicing empathy as I began to listen more, talk less, and genuinely care about the experiences and feelings of others.

This behavior change was far from easy, but it was worth it.

Not only did it help me become less narcissistic, but it also enriched my relationships, making them more fulfilling and genuine.

Try to cultivate empathy, and begin by genuinely listening and responding to the emotions of others.

3) Entitlement

One of the most prevalent traits in narcissistic individuals is a strong sense of entitlement—they feel that the world owes them, leading to unreasonable demands and expectations.

A study published in the University of North Carolina at Greensboro found that people who exhibited a higher sense of entitlement were more likely to break rules, exhibit unethical behavior, and take more resources for themselves at the expense of others.

Breaking away from this sense of entitlement is a vital step to become less narcissistic.

It means recognizing that respect and rewards are earned, not given—understanding that everyone has their own rights and needs, and that yours don’t inherently supersede theirs.

Practice gratitude and appreciate what you have instead of focusing on what you believe you’re owed.

4) Excessive self-focus

Narcissism often comes with an excessive focus on oneself, making every situation revolve around you, so this can lead to neglecting the needs and feelings of others.

Remember, relationships are a two-way street—they involve give and take, understanding, and mutual respect.

It’s important to learn to shift the focus from yourself onto others occasionally; it’s not about diminishing your own worth or needs, but about acknowledging that others have their own lives, interests, and struggles.

You can start off by being genuinely interested in others or even by simply asking about their day, their interests, or their feelings.

5) Difficulty accepting criticism

A defining trait of narcissism is the inability to accept criticism.

For a long time, I struggled with this.

Any critique felt like a personal attack, leading me to become defensive and closed off.

Over time, I realized that this behavior was not only damaging my relationships but also stunting my personal growth.

Criticism, when constructive, can be an invaluable tool for improvement—it can shed light on our blind spots, helping us become better versions of ourselves.

Work on accepting criticism and see it as an opportunity for growth rather than an assault on your character.

6) Dominating conversations

Narcissistic individuals often dominate conversations, making it all about themselves and their experiences.

This leaves little room for others to express their thoughts and feelings.

Healthy communication involves listening as much as speaking, if not more—respecting others’ input and creating a safe space for open dialogue.

If you want to be less narcissistic as you get older, strive to become a better listener.

Make an effort to engage others in conversation, asking open-ended questions, and showing genuine interest in their responses.

Letting go of the need to dominate conversations can open up a whole new world of understanding and connection, enriching your relationships in the process.

7) Exploitation of others

Perhaps the most damaging narcissistic behavior is the exploitation of others.

This trait involves using people for personal gain without considering their feelings or well-being.

The hurt caused by this behavior can leave lasting scars on those around you, damaging relationships and trust.

It’s crucial to treat people with respect and kindness, valuing them for who they are rather than what they can offer you.

Also, it’s about recognizing the inherent worth in every individual and honoring that in your interactions.

Final thoughts: It’s a journey

The complexities of human behavior are deeply intertwined with our personal experiences, upbringing, and mental processes.

As we delve into the aim of becoming less narcissistic as we age, it’s essential to remember that this journey is not about achieving perfection.

It’s about making consistent efforts towards self-improvement and empathy.

A study conducted by the American Psychological Association found that narcissistic traits tend to decline as people age; this fact indicates that change is possible and it’s never too late to start making these alterations in your behavior.

Whether it’s learning to listen more, letting go of entitlement, or treating others with kindness, each step you take brings you closer to becoming a more understanding and considerate individual.

Remember, personal growth is a lifelong journey.

Be patient with yourself as you navigate this path of self-improvement and bid farewell to these narcissistic behaviors.

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Lucas Graham

Lucas Graham

Lucas Graham, based in Auckland, writes about the psychology behind everyday decisions and life choices. His perspective is grounded in the belief that understanding oneself is the key to better decision-making. Lucas’s articles are a mix of personal anecdotes and observations, offering readers relatable and down-to-earth advice.

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