If you want to be more well-liked as you get older, say goodbye to these 8 behaviors

If you’ve ever wondered why some people seem to attract warmth and friendship effortlessly, while others struggle to maintain close bonds, the answer might lie in everyday actions.

Sometimes, without even realizing it, we cling to habits and behaviors that might be pushing people away instead of drawing them in.

The good news?  It’s never too late to make a change.

In this article, we explore eight common behaviors that could be holding you back from being more well-liked—and why it’s time to let them go.

Ready to embrace the shift?

Let’s dive in.

1) Being judgmental

As we age, we accumulate a wealth of experiences that shape our views and opinions. However, this doesn’t give us a free pass to become judgmental.

Being judgemental can make you unapproachable and difficult to relate with, causing potential friends to keep their distance.

Everyone has their own journey and life experiences. Their choices and decisions might not align with yours, but that’s okay.

Embrace diversity and learn to accept people as they are. Let go of the urge to judge others based on your own standards or expectations.

Start practicing empathy and open-mindedness, and you’ll notice a positive shift in how people perceive you.

2) Holding onto grudges

I’ll let you in on a little secret from my own journey. Holding onto grudges is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick.

Years ago, I had a falling-out with an old friend. I was deeply hurt and carried that grudge for a long time. Then, I realized that I was the only one suffering from this resentment. It affected my mood, my relationships, and my overall happiness.

One day, I decided to let go. I reached out and made peace, and it felt like a heavy weight was lifted off my shoulders.

And this is not just me; experts have acknowledged that forgiving makes the forgiver happier.

An added benefit I wasn’t expecting is that it made me more likable because I was no longer carrying that negative energy around.

If you’re holding onto past hurts or resentments, try to let go.

Forgiveness is not about condoning the actions of others but about freeing yourself from the burden of bitterness that can sabotage your relationships and your happiness.

3) Resisting change

“Time is a river, a violent current of events, glimpsed once and already carried past us, and another follows and is gone.”

The above is a quote from Marcus Aurelius, former Roman Emperor. He wrote that almost 2,000 years ago but it’s a timeless truth that applies to all of us, irrespective of our age.

As we grow older, it’s easy to settle into familiar patterns and resist change. However, change is inevitable, and this resistance can make us seem rigid and unapproachable.

People are drawn to those who are adaptable and open to new experiences. Embracing change, instead of resisting it, signals that you’re not set in your ways and are willing to evolve with the times.

That doesn’t mean you have to jump on every trend or abandon your core values. It simply means being open to different perspectives and experiences. This openness makes you more relatable and well-liked as you age.

4) Being a know-it-all

As we get on in years, we gather a lot of knowledge and life experience. It’s natural to want to share this wisdom with others.

But there’s a difference between offering advice when it’s sought and forcing your opinions on others.

People appreciate learning from those who are older and wiser, but nobody likes to be around a know-it-all. It can come across as arrogant and dismissive of the ideas and opinions of others.

Share your wisdom, but also make room for the wisdom of others. Show that you value other people’s input and experiences. This will make you more approachable and well-liked as you get older.

5) Negativity

This is a big one. 

I know life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows. But constant negativity can be a major turn-off for those around you.

People are naturally attracted to positivity. A positive outlook can make you seem more approachable, more engaging, and just generally more pleasant to be around.

Try to cultivate a positive mindset.

Focus on the good in people and situations, rather than dwelling on the negative. Positivity is infectious – it not only makes you more likable, but it also encourages a positive environment around you.

6) Ignoring self-care

Taking care of others is a noble act, but ignoring your own needs in the process can be detrimental. 

Your physical health, mental well-being, and emotional stability are important. Not only for you, but for the people around you as well.

As noted by the folks at Choosing Therapy the benefits of self care include lower stress levels, increased self-esteem, lower likelihood of depression and anxiety and crucially happier relationships. When you’re at your best, you can give your best to others.

Taking care of yourself also shows that you value your own life and well-being. This is an attractive quality that draws people towards you. It shows them that you respect yourself and, in turn, can respect others.

The point?

Don’t compromise on self-care. It’s not selfish; it’s necessary. And it’s a behavior that will make you more well-liked as you get older. None of us can pour from an empty cup.

7) Avoiding apologies

There was a time when I thought admitting to a mistake or apologizing for a wrongdoing was a sign of weakness. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

Apologizing doesn’t make you weak; in fact, it’s a strength. It shows that you’re human, you make mistakes, and most importantly, you’re mature enough to acknowledge them.

The ability to say “I was wrong, I am sorry” not only speaks volumes about your character but also makes you more relatable and trustworthy.

It shows humility and sincerity – traits that are highly appreciated and well-liked in any individual, regardless of their age.

8) Being indifferent

The world is full of indifference. But being indifferent, especially towards the feelings and needs of others, can make you less likeable as you age.

Showing interest and concern towards other people’s lives doesn’t just make them feel valued and heard, but it also shows your capacity for empathy and compassion.

People are more likely to be drawn towards those who show genuine interest in them rather than those who remain indifferent.

Final thought: A journey of self-improvement

The quest to be more well-liked as we age is not about changing who we are to please others. Rather, it’s a journey of self-improvement, of becoming the best version of ourselves.

By saying goodbye to these behaviors, we are not only improving our own lives but also enriching the lives of those we interact with.

Let’s strive to become individuals who spread positivity, show empathy, and respect others.