If you want to be taken more seriously as you get older, say goodbye to these 6 behaviors

As we grow older, we all want to be seen as more confident, capable, and respected.

But here’s the thing: some habits that might have seemed harmless (or even endearing) in your younger years can actually work against you as you mature.

Whether it’s the way you speak, act, or carry yourself, certain behaviors can unintentionally undermine your credibility and authority.

The good news? Small shifts can make a big difference.

By identifying and letting go of these six habits, you can project the maturity, wisdom, and confidence that will earn you the respect you deserve.

1) Seeking approval

One of the behaviors that can undermine your credibility as you age is constantly seeking approval.

This habit is common among young people who are still trying to find their place in the world. They seek validation from others to confirm they’re on the right track.

However, as you get older, this behavior can make you seem insecure and unsure of yourself. It can give others the impression that you lack confidence in your own judgment.

To be taken more seriously, it’s important to develop self-assurance and trust in your own decision-making abilities.

This doesn’t mean you should dismiss other people’s opinions entirely. But there’s a big difference between seeking advice and constantly needing affirmation.

Trust yourself, trust your instincts, and let your actions speak for themselves.

2) Negativity

We all know that person who always sees the glass as half empty, and it’s not a pleasant experience to be around them.

I remember a time in my own life when I was caught in a cycle of negative thinking. It seemed like every challenge was insurmountable, every setback a disaster.

Unsurprisingly, I began to notice that people were less inclined to take me seriously and less willing to engage with me.

When I made a conscious effort to shift my perspective, focus on the positive aspects of my life, and let go of the things I couldn’t change, I noticed a significant change in how others perceived me.

People responded more positively to my ideas and suggestions. They were more willing to view me as a credible source of advice and guidance.

Trust me, if you want to be taken more seriously as you get older, make a conscious choice to be positive. It’s not about ignoring the negative aspects of life, but about choosing to focus on the positive ones.

3) Gossiping

When was the last time you indulged in a bit of gossip? Be honest.

We all do it from time to time—it’s human nature to share stories and opinions about others.

But here’s the truth: nothing undermines your credibility faster than being known as someone who talks about others behind their backs.

Think about it: if you’re willing to dish out the latest drama about someone else, what’s to stop people from wondering what you might say about them when they’re not around?

Gossiping not only makes you seem untrustworthy but also signals a lack of maturity and focus.

Instead, aim to be someone who uplifts others and keeps conversations constructive. Build a reputation as a person of integrity—someone who listens, respects confidences, and chooses their words wisely.

People will take you far more seriously when they know they can trust you to speak thoughtfully and truthfully.

4) Holding onto grudges

Holding a grudge might feel justified in the moment, but in the long run, it can do more harm than good—both to your relationships and your well-being.

As noted by the experts at Psychology Today, the stress associated with grudges can lead to a host of physical and mental health issues, including heart problems, high blood pressure, weakened immunity, and increased anxiety and depression.

Beyond the health implications, holding onto resentment can make you seem petty and emotionally stuck. People are less likely to view you as mature or capable if you’re constantly bringing up past grievances or unwilling to move forward.

Letting go of grudges doesn’t mean excusing bad behavior—it means choosing to prioritize your peace and personal growth over past negativity.

By forgiving and focusing on the present, you project resilience, wisdom, and emotional strength—qualities that will earn you the respect you deserve.

5) Playing the blame game

This is one I know all too well. 

There was a time in my life when I’d blame my circumstances or other people for things that didn’t go my way. It was easier to point fingers than to look inwards and take responsibility.

But eventually, I realized that this was not only unfair to those around me, but it was also holding me back from learning and growing from my mistakes.

Taking responsibility, even when it’s difficult, shows character and maturity. It demonstrates that you’re willing to acknowledge your faults and work on improving them. 

6) Trying to appear perfect

Striving for perfection, or to appear perfect, might seem like the best way to gain respect, but ironically, it often has the opposite effect. People don’t connect with perfection—they connect with authenticity.

As author and researcher Brené Brown wisely said, “Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity.”

When you try to hide your flaws and project an image of perfection, you miss out on the deeper connections that come from being real and relatable.

Let go of the need to appear flawless. Show your human side, embrace your imperfections, and let your authenticity shine. It’s one of the most effective ways to be taken seriously as you grow older.

Final thoughts

As we navigate life and grow older, the way we’re perceived often depends more on our actions and attitudes than our accomplishments.

Letting go of these counterproductive habits isn’t just about gaining respect—it’s about becoming the best version of ourselves.

By cultivating self-assurance, embracing positivity, fostering trust, and showing authenticity, you’ll not only earn the respect of those around you but also deepen your connection to your own values and goals.

Start making these small but meaningful changes today, and watch as your confidence, credibility, and relationships thrive.