Being someone others admire isn’t just about what you do—it’s also about what you avoid doing.
Certain small, often unconscious behaviors can undermine how people see us and limit our potential to inspire.
Letting go of these habits wasn’t easy for me, but it transformed how others respected and admired me.
In this article, I’ll share the 9 behaviors I had to release.
My hope is that by recognizing these habits, you too can take steps toward becoming someone people truly look up to.
1) You’re persistent in blaming others
Let’s start with a behavior that’s all too common – blaming others.
It’s easy to point fingers, to shift the responsibility onto someone else when things don’t go our way.
But here’s the thing, playing the blame game doesn’t earn you admiration. It just shows an inability to take ownership of your actions.
People who are looked up to demonstrate accountability.
They acknowledge their mistakes, learn from them, and strive to do better next time. They understand that they’re not perfect, and that’s okay.
Blaming others? It’s a defensive mechanism, a way to protect our ego.
But it doesn’t foster growth or respect.
If you find yourself consistently attributing your missteps to external factors or other people, it might be time to reassess.
And let me tell you from experience, people admire those who are honest about their shortcomings and are actively working on improving themselves.
It’s a sign of strength, maturity and authenticity.
2) You’re stuck in a negativity loop
Have you ever heard of the term ‘negativity bias’?
It’s a psychological concept that explains our tendency to focus more on negative events than positive ones.
You see, our brains are wired to pay more attention to the bad stuff. It’s an evolutionary survival mechanism.
But in today’s world, this bias can do more harm than good.
If you’re constantly dwelling on the negative — be it past mistakes, fears of the future, or criticisms from others — you’re stuck in a negativity loop.
This persistent negativity not only affects your mood and mental health, but it also impacts how others perceive you.
People are naturally drawn to positivity and resilience; they admire those who can see the silver lining, even in tough situations.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s normal to have negative thoughts and emotions!
But if you find yourself constantly stuck in this loop of negativity, it could be holding you back from becoming the person people look up to.
Breaking free from this cycle is a step towards inspiring others with your optimism and resilience.
3) You’re avoiding vulnerability
Ironically, while being stuck in a negativity loop can hinder your ability to inspire others, so can an avoidance of vulnerability.
It might seem counterintuitive.
After all, isn’t the goal to project positivity and strength?
Well, yes and no.
People admire those who convey positivity, but they also respect authenticity and being authentic means acknowledging that you’re human, with its inherent strengths and weaknesses.
Avoiding vulnerability — hiding your flaws and fears — can create a wall between you and others.
It can make you seem unrelatable, even distant.
Being open about your struggles doesn’t make you weak; it makes you real—in a world where people crave genuine connections, vulnerability can be a powerful tool.
4) You’re not practicing active listening
Have you ever found yourself in a conversation where you’re just waiting for your turn to speak rather than truly listening?
We’ve all been there.
The truth is, listening is a skill that many of us take for granted.
We’re often so focused on what we want to say next that we fail to fully process what the other person is saying.
But here’s the thing: effective communication isn’t just about speaking; it’s about listening too.
Active listening — truly hearing, understanding, and responding to others — shows respect and empathy.
It sends a clear message: “I value your thoughts and feelings.”
People admire those who make them feel heard and valued.
It’s a trait that fosters trust, builds strong relationships, and promotes open and honest communication.
Practicing active listening could well be a step towards becoming the person others admire.
It’s about putting aside your agenda and taking the time to truly understand others!
5) You’re harboring toxic behaviors
Let’s get real here.
No matter how charismatic or accomplished you are, if you’re harboring toxic behaviors, it’s going to be hard to earn admiration and respect.
Toxic behaviors come in many forms, including but not limited to:
- Manipulative tactics
- Constant criticism of others
- Disregard for boundaries
- Gossiping
- Ignoring the feelings of others
These behaviors can damage relationships, create a negative environment, and ultimately undermine your capacity to inspire others.
People look up to those who treat others with kindness and respect.
6) You’re neglecting self-improvement
I’ll be the first to admit it: self-improvement is a lifelong journey, and it’s not always easy.
But let’s face it, if we want to be the type of person that others look up to and admire, we can’t neglect our own growth and development.
In my own journey, I’ve realized that people aren’t necessarily drawn to those who are already perfect (spoiler alert: no one is).
Instead, they admire those who are constantly learning, growing, and striving to become better versions of themselves.
The people we look up to often inspire us with their drive, their resilience, and their commitment to personal growth.
They show us that it’s possible to overcome challenges, learn new skills, and evolve as individuals.
As I’ve learned in my own experience, every step towards self-improvement is a step towards becoming more admirable.
7) You’re not setting healthy boundaries
Imagine this: You’re swamped with work, your schedule is packed, and yet, when a friend asks you for a favor, you immediately say yes, despite knowing that it will add to your stress.
Sound familiar?
Setting healthy boundaries is a crucial aspect of maintaining our mental and emotional wellbeing, yet many of us struggle to do so, often because we fear disappointing others or being perceived as selfish!
But have you ever considered that people might actually respect you more for setting boundaries? That they might admire your ability to prioritize your needs and respect yourself?
The truth is, people who are admired often have a strong sense of self-worth.
They understand their limits and aren’t afraid to communicate them.
They know that saying no when necessary isn’t a sign of weakness but of self-respect.
8) You’re not showing gratitude
I remember a time when I was so caught up in my ambitions and the pursuit of success that I forgot to pause and appreciate what I already had.
It was only when a close friend pointed this out that I realized how my lack of gratitude was affecting not just my happiness, but also how others perceived me.
Gratitude is more than just saying thanks.
It’s a mindset, an approach to life that focuses on appreciating the good, even in difficult situations.
People admire those who can acknowledge their blessings, who can express genuine appreciation for the people and experiences that enrich their lives.
It’s a trait that exudes positivity and contentment.
And let me tell you, adopting this attitude was a game-changer for me.
Not only did it make me happier, but it also made me someone people felt good around.
Showing gratitude isn’t just about making others feel appreciated—although that’s definitely a part of it.
It’s about cultivating an outlook that focuses on positivity and abundance, rather than scarcity and discontent.
9) You’re not leading with empathy
Arguably the most important one: leading with empathy.
Empathy — the ability to understand and share the feelings of others — is a trait that is universally admired.
It’s what allows us to connect with others on a deeper level, to build strong, meaningful relationships.
But, empathy is more than just understanding others’ feelings.
It’s about showing compassion, about stepping up and taking action when someone else is in need.
People admire those who lead with empathy, those who make an effort to understand their perspective and are there for them in times of need.
It’s a trait that fosters trust, respect, and connection.
What will you say goodbye to?
As we come to the end of this journey, it’s time to take a moment and reflect.
Which of these behaviors have been holding you back from becoming the person others admire?
- Being quick to judge others?
- Ignoring self-care?
- Living in the past or future, instead of the present?
Recognizing these behaviors is the first step toward change.
Letting them go takes time, and it’s okay to start small.
The goal is growth, not perfection.
So, which behaviors will you release as you become the person others admire?
Your journey is yours to shape!
What would Jesus say?
Unsure whether to move on from a failed marriage? Struggling with desire and feeling guilty for it? Wanting to live a life Jesus would be proud of?
Let Jesus tell you how to be a good Christian according to the teachings of the Bible.
We brought Jesus back to life with the help of AI. Ask your toughest life questions, and Jesus will tell you exactly what to do.
