If you want to build mental strength as you get older, say goodbye to these 8 behaviors

If you’ve noticed someone lifting a heavy weight, you assume they’re strong; if you see someone running a marathon, you know they’ve got stamina.

We often associate physical acts with strength and endurance—but what about mental strength?

Mental strength is a skill you build over time, especially as life throws new challenges your way; as we age, cultivating resilience and emotional balance becomes even more important for maintaining well-being.

Here’s the kicker though: To build this mental strength, some habits need to go—habits that you might even enjoy or find comfort in.

So, buckle up friends, if you want to build mental strength and thrive as you get older then it’s time to say goodbye to these 8 habits holding you back:

1) Saying “yes” to everything

We’ve all been there: Someone asks you for a favor, and even though you’re already swamped, you nod and say yes.

It feels good to be helpful, doesn’t it?

But, here’s the hard truth: Always saying yes is a one-way ticket to stress city—and stress, my friends, is the enemy of mental strength.

Growing up, our capacity to deal with unnecessary stress diminishes because that’s just how it is.

If you want to build mental strength, start practicing the art of saying “no”; it might feel uncomfortable at first, especially if you’re used to always being the ‘yes’ person, but your mind will thank you for it.

Saying “no” to things that don’t serve you gives you the freedom and time to say “yes” to things that truly matter.

2) Holding onto grudges

Ah, grudges. Those pesky little things that stick to our minds like glue.

I remember a time when I was absolutely livid with a friend: He’d said something that had really hurt me and I just couldn’t let it go.

Every time we spoke, that anger would bubble up, tainting our interactions.

It was exhausting but, later on, I realized that holding onto grudges doesn’t hurt the person who wronged you.

Holding grudges hurts you, drains your mental energy, and keeps you stuck in a cycle of negativity.

So, I decided to let go—not for him, but for me.

Being serious about building mental resilience, means upholding the practice forgiveness.

3) Neglecting self-care

Between work, family, and all the other responsibilities that come with life, it’s easy to put ourselves last.

However, neglecting self-care actually shrinks your brain—yes, you read that right!

Chronic stress, which is often a result of inadequate self-care, can lead to loss of brain volume and this affects the parts of the brain responsible for self-control and emotion regulation; in other words, neglecting self-care literally weakens your mental strength.

As we age, taking care of ourselves becomes even more important, whether it’s reading a book, going for a walk, or just taking a few minutes to breathe deeply—every little bit counts.

 Take care of yourself first and watch your mental strength flourish.

4) Ignoring your emotions

Growing up, many of us were taught to suppress our emotions; crying was seen as a sign of weakness, and getting angry was frowned upon.

Ignoring your emotions only makes them stronger because, when you suppress your feelings, you’re not allowing yourself to process them and unprocessed emotions can lead to mental health issues like anxiety and depression.

As we get older, it’s crucial to acknowledge and understand our emotions—like how it’s okay to feel sad, angry, or frustrated.

The next time you’re feeling emotional, instead of pushing those feelings away, try sitting with them and understand what they’re trying to tell you.

Acknowledging your emotions makes you strong.

5) Overthinking everything

Late at night, when the world is quiet, my mind would start racing with thoughts—I’d replay conversations, worrying about what I should have said, and I’d stress about future events that hadn’t even happened yet.

Overthinking is like a hamster wheel; once you get on it, it’s hard to get off, and that alone is absolutely draining.

That in mind, overthinking is a habit that chips away at your mental strength, leaving you exhausted and stressed.

Later on in life, the cost of overthinking becomes even greater so, if you’re an overthinker like me, it’s time to start breaking that cycle.

Teach yourself to take a deep breath and remind yourself to stay in the present.

Easier said than done, I know—but, with practice, it gets easier.

6) Avoiding challenges

It’s human nature to steer clear of difficulties because we like our comfort zones–they’re warm, cozy, and free of problems.

Who wouldn’t want that?

Unfortunately, avoiding challenges actually weakens our mental strength.

Challenges, as uncomfortable as they may be, are the gym equipment for our mental muscles; challenges push us out of our comfort zones, forcing us to adapt and grow.

It’s easy to fall into a routine and avoid anything that disrupts it, as we grow older by the years. 

But, remember, growth doesn’t happen in comfort zones—embrace the challenge and watch your mental strength soar.

7) Constantly comparing yourself to others

In the age of social media, it’s easy to fall into the trap of comparison.

Scrolling through picture-perfect lives can make us feel like we’re not doing enough, not achieving enough.

On the contrary, comparison is the thief of joy and a huge drain on your mental strength.

It’s important to keep in mind that everyone’s journey is unique—we all have our own pace, our own path.

Comparing your Chapter 2 to someone else’s Chapter 20 is not only unfair to you, but it’s also an exercise in futility.

When you find yourself comparing your life to someone else’s highlight reel, try taking a step back and remind yourself that you’re on your own unique journey–focus on your progress.

Your mental strength is worth more than a thousand perfectly posed photos.

8) Not believing in yourself

Doubt is a powerful enemy of mental strength–it whispers in your ear, telling you that you can’t do it, that you’re not good enough.

And if you listen to it, it can stop you in your tracks.

Self-doubt can become even more ingrained, but the thing is: You are capable, resilient, and you are stronger than you think.

Start believing in yourself and trust in your abilities and your strength.

The person who believes they can and the person who believes they can’t are both you—choose to be the version of you who believes they can.

Embracing your mental strength

Your mind is like a muscle—it grows stronger with effort and intention—so letting go of habits that drain your strength is a powerful step toward that growth.

Theodore Roosevelt once said, “Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.”

As we get older, this statement rings truer than ever—mental strength is about doing your best with what you have.

Take a moment to reflect: Which behaviors resonate with you? Which ones are you ready to leave behind?

Building mental strength is a journey, and every step you take towards letting go of these draining behaviors is a step towards a stronger, more resilient you.